I am not rich, but compared to the men in my life I am. My first husband said he married me when I was 15 because I wasn’t as smart as his college friends. He wouldn’t have to compete with me. When I was 30 and grown up I divorced him. He was a banker, fairly good with money, and a drunk. Then nobody was interested in me for 10 years. I bought a house, worked hard, paid the house off, paid cash for a new car, and basically purchased my next husband. He came to me with no car, no money, just lust and was a happy handsome fun guy to be with. Fine, I gave him what I had. He took my car sold it, bought two and was on his way to being a used car salesman. . . but his skills with money were not great. Then I found he had a big debt to IRS that grew over the years. I didn’t care, I was in love with him. So I paid off the IRS and we went on. Till my money was gone. I opened a life insurance policy so he wouldn’t be destitute if I were to pass away. He found out, and opened one too, so I would be taken care of. He died of cancer last year at 65. I took the life insurance money bought a fixer house, with great bones, and fixed it up. Still have money in the bank, and am getting ready to buy a new car. Do you see the pattern coming back again. Now the Alfa Males run I guess? So the only ones that are still here are the guys that have nothing, and are looking for someone to take care of them. Not that I care, I am happy to share what I have, but it would be so nice to have a man that is an equal at the bank. I am looking pretty good for my age, have lost the extra pounds, new hair cut, new clothes, and I don’t see any alfa males even kind of interested. Lots of other men walking around in my house, smiling and asking if I have a glass of wine.
I would love to find a man who would take care of me. . . and still be able to have some intelligence of my own. I don’t believe in sex with everybody, I have been to bed with four in my lifetime, two I was married to, the other two were long term relationships. One I am still in love with, and he indicates he is too, but he is flat broke, and has no car. Again the pattern. Must I always buy a man.
July 30, 2013 at 1:20 pm
Lisa
Thank you Barbara.
July 30, 2013 at 1:15 pm
Barbara
Very good advice, Lisa, as usual!!!
July 30, 2013 at 1:13 pm
Laura
Lisa – I really like this article! Brilliantly relevant and simple.
July 30, 2013 at 1:20 pm
Lisa
Thank you Laura. So glad you enjoyed it.
July 29, 2013 at 11:21 pm
Lisa
Hi Noquay… Just curious why you drove 300 miles instead of him coming to see you. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Lots of great advice.
August 1, 2013 at 12:46 pm
noquay
Lisa
Speaking with him, he seemed very articulate, intelligent, was educated and very supportive and caring but unfortunately in complete denial about his health and appearance and his this in his photos. Most men I am encountering on this site are none of these things. He did say that he hates to travel during tourist season. There are places that I haven’t been to in years along the way so it wasn’t a total loss, eh?
July 29, 2013 at 2:02 pm
noquay
You absolutely, positively, have to look like your photos; all of you. The poster seems ashamed of her current figure; she either needs to try to work hard, loose the weight or find someone who accepts her as is. If you are not 100% truthful about your appearance, you are setting yourself up for instant rejection and wasting the other persons time. Recently, I drove about 300 miles round trip to meet someone who did the same thing with their photos; he was about 40 lbs overweight. Folks do this sort of thing because they think the other person will “give them a chance” no so. It just makes them mad.
Lots of folks in some age groups chose to forgo the marriage and family thing due to a number of reasons; we are not all parent material, career, location, may have made marriage impossible or unlikely. I would worry if the person has not had a significant relationship by middle age if not more than one. That speaks more of a lack of social skills or an avoidant or otherwise troubled personality. I met an on line dude who at 62, claimed to have never had a serious relationship. He wasn’t stationed at the South Pole, he was in a career that offered access to many women. That was red flag #1. He turned out to be a stalker. With anyone, pay attention and proceed with caution.
August 12, 2013 at 12:14 pm
sylvia
I am not rich, but compared to the men in my life I am. My first husband said he married me when I was 15 because I wasn’t as smart as his college friends. He wouldn’t have to compete with me. When I was 30 and grown up I divorced him. He was a banker, fairly good with money, and a drunk. Then nobody was interested in me for 10 years. I bought a house, worked hard, paid the house off, paid cash for a new car, and basically purchased my next husband. He came to me with no car, no money, just lust and was a happy handsome fun guy to be with. Fine, I gave him what I had. He took my car sold it, bought two and was on his way to being a used car salesman. . . but his skills with money were not great. Then I found he had a big debt to IRS that grew over the years. I didn’t care, I was in love with him. So I paid off the IRS and we went on. Till my money was gone. I opened a life insurance policy so he wouldn’t be destitute if I were to pass away. He found out, and opened one too, so I would be taken care of. He died of cancer last year at 65. I took the life insurance money bought a fixer house, with great bones, and fixed it up. Still have money in the bank, and am getting ready to buy a new car. Do you see the pattern coming back again. Now the Alfa Males run I guess? So the only ones that are still here are the guys that have nothing, and are looking for someone to take care of them. Not that I care, I am happy to share what I have, but it would be so nice to have a man that is an equal at the bank. I am looking pretty good for my age, have lost the extra pounds, new hair cut, new clothes, and I don’t see any alfa males even kind of interested. Lots of other men walking around in my house, smiling and asking if I have a glass of wine.
I would love to find a man who would take care of me. . . and still be able to have some intelligence of my own. I don’t believe in sex with everybody, I have been to bed with four in my lifetime, two I was married to, the other two were long term relationships. One I am still in love with, and he indicates he is too, but he is flat broke, and has no car. Again the pattern. Must I always buy a man.
July 30, 2013 at 1:20 pm
Lisa
Thank you Barbara.
July 30, 2013 at 1:15 pm
Barbara
Very good advice, Lisa, as usual!!!
July 30, 2013 at 1:13 pm
Laura
Lisa – I really like this article! Brilliantly relevant and simple.
July 30, 2013 at 1:20 pm
Lisa
Thank you Laura. So glad you enjoyed it.
July 29, 2013 at 11:21 pm
Lisa
Hi Noquay… Just curious why you drove 300 miles instead of him coming to see you. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Lots of great advice.
August 1, 2013 at 12:46 pm
noquay
Lisa
Speaking with him, he seemed very articulate, intelligent, was educated and very supportive and caring but unfortunately in complete denial about his health and appearance and his this in his photos. Most men I am encountering on this site are none of these things. He did say that he hates to travel during tourist season. There are places that I haven’t been to in years along the way so it wasn’t a total loss, eh?
July 29, 2013 at 2:02 pm
noquay
You absolutely, positively, have to look like your photos; all of you. The poster seems ashamed of her current figure; she either needs to try to work hard, loose the weight or find someone who accepts her as is. If you are not 100% truthful about your appearance, you are setting yourself up for instant rejection and wasting the other persons time. Recently, I drove about 300 miles round trip to meet someone who did the same thing with their photos; he was about 40 lbs overweight. Folks do this sort of thing because they think the other person will “give them a chance” no so. It just makes them mad.
Lots of folks in some age groups chose to forgo the marriage and family thing due to a number of reasons; we are not all parent material, career, location, may have made marriage impossible or unlikely. I would worry if the person has not had a significant relationship by middle age if not more than one. That speaks more of a lack of social skills or an avoidant or otherwise troubled personality. I met an on line dude who at 62, claimed to have never had a serious relationship. He wasn’t stationed at the South Pole, he was in a career that offered access to many women. That was red flag #1. He turned out to be a stalker. With anyone, pay attention and proceed with caution.