Are You Making One of These 3 Dating Mistakes?
Mistake #1…Conducting a date as if it’s a job interview
If you’re like most divorced single women over 50, you’re probably carrying some fear baggage around the idea of failing in a relationship again.
You figure this time, you’re going to get it right so you come up with an exact list of who Mr. Right must be.
And as you sip your coffee or glass of wine, you start mentally checking off the positives and negatives of the man who’s applying to be your boyfriend.
As kids, we gave ourselves the luxury of just hanging out with a guy.
We didn’t make snap decisions in the first 15 minutes of meeting a man as to whether he had the requirements for being our boyfriend or husband.
We lived in the moment and had fun getting to know a new person.
I can’t tell you the number of women who tell me they know in 3 minutes or less whether a man is right for them.
I ask them, “What do you base this on?” and the answer I always get is, “I can just tell.”
I want to share with you that NO, you really can’t tell this quickly.
It takes time to assess who a man really is.
If he’s nice, try going out with him a couple of times.
If after 3-5 dates, you aren’t feeling it, then let him go.
Sometimes, it takes up to 4 dates for things to click.
You have plenty of time to decide if he’s the right one.
Take the pressure off yourself and just enjoy hanging out again…just like you did in your youth.
Mistake #2…Talking about your ex on a first date
This is a huge “no no” for a first date.
Men don’t want to hear the problems you’re having with your ex when they first meet you.
You see, men are designed to fix problems for you. And in the area of ex’s, they can’t.
So it makes them feel inadequate about themselves.
It’s also what gets you labeled as the “Drama Queen” you read about in men’s profiles.
Save ex-bashing for girl’s night out.
They have no desire to fix the situation for you but they’ll spend hours giving you a warm and fuzzy cocktail of compassion and advice.
Mistake #3…Losing your identity to a man
While looking for Mr. Right, hopefully you’ve created a wonderful life for yourself participating in various activities you love and enjoy.
This is an essential for creating the inner glow men find themselves so drawn to.
Yet, when a man comes along do you find yourself giving up your activities hoping he’ll invite you to share in what he’s doing?
Do you stop going out with your friends thinking you’ll go out with his instead?
Do you put your life on hold waiting to see what he’s going to do with his?
When you do this, the inner glow you’ve created starts to become dull and you start to seem clingy and needy as you depend on him to fill what’s missing in you.
What your doing is turning yourself into him and you’re losing what made you so attractive to him in the first place…the life you created before you met him.
It’s great to share life with your boyfriend. Keep the balance and inner glow going by picking and choosing the activities and time with friends that mean the most to you.
This will keep your inner glow going and will always make you appear interesting and vibrant to not only the man but to you as well.
Believing in You!
Your Next Steps to Love after 50. . . .
💞 Feeling like you are on a merry-go-round of mismatched dates? Lets press pause and talk about how we can write a new love story for you. Click here to start our conversation. Tell me your story – I am here to listen and guide you towards meeting someone truly special.
If you are still gearing up for that step, I have plenty of insights and inspiration for you:
1. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for heartfelt dating wisdom and uplifting success stories from women who have been just where you are. They found love, and so can you. Click here to watch and learn.
2. Discover a new chapter in your dating life with my book, "The Winning Dating Formula." It is more than a book; it is your journey to love mapped out. And it is just a click away on Amazon. Click here and start attracting the love you deserve.
3. Join our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group to find camaraderie and connection. It is a warm and welcoming space to share your journey and receive support every step of the way. Click here to become part of our community.
4. On the lookout for a dating site that resonates with you? Browse through my personal selection of the best dating sites tailor-made for fabulous over 50s. Click here and say goodbye to guesswork.
Let these resources be your steppingstones to a love life filled with promise and joy. When you are ready, I am here to take that journey with you. Together, lets find your Mr. Right! 🌹
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Copyright© 2024 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved.
I tend to go to first date as if it were a job interview. I’ve been on MANY job interviews in the last 5 yrs and I think I just gravitate right toward that.
Hi Nancy….I think dates would be a lot more fun if you could go on them with the intention of just meeting someone new and interesting. It’s pretty hard to see if someone is right for you on date #1. There are a lot of women who totally didn’t like a man the first time they met yet ended up falling in love with them over time. It’s why I always encourage women to give a man a chance if he’s nice. Give it a try and let me know how it goes.
Hi Lisa,
I did get your blog message yesterday and thought the first one was interesting because one of the guys I met on match, whom I never met in person because he didn’t want to drive more than five miles to meet a woman, told me he wasn’t seeing anyone but had had quite a few interviews, which he later told me were more like interviews than dates. It made me wonder why he didn’t ensure his first dates were fun.
Thanks,
Theresa
Hi Theresa…A man has to be pretty skilled to be able to shift the direction of a conversation like this. I feel its the responsibility of both the man and the woman to make a date fun and you can only do that if you’re going into it with the idea of having fun versus finding a person to marry on date #1. Thanks Theresa for sharing this so more women understand what they are really doing on a date.