A MUST KNOW about the difference between you and an over 50’s man
Recently, I fractured my lower tibia and ended up on crutches for 5 days waiting to see an orthopedic doc.
I gotta say being on crutches at 63 is so much harder than the brief time I was on them when I was in my 40’s.
For the first time as an adult, I felt totally dependent on someone else to help me.
I couldn’t shower without someone helping me get out of the tub.
Just needing something simple like a glass of water took asking someone else for help.
I couldn’t even make a sandwich cause my hands were occupied trying to maneuver my crutches.
Being so dependent felt scary.
I wasn’t used to relying on others all the time to function in my own home.
And the person I was relying on was my other half.
But I wasn’t always the best at asking for what I needed during those first couple of days.
The funny thing is, I know how to speak the language men hear that triggers their DNA coding to keep you safe and protected.
But I was feeling overwhelmed needing so much help that I found myself reverting back to my old ways of asking for what I needed.
Let me say, that was NOT going over well.
So what was I saying to my honey?
You’ll laugh but here it is . . .
Could you please charge my phone? Or could you get my phone now that it’s charged? Or could you please bring me a glass of water? Or could you please let the dog out?
As a woman, you would have said, Of course. Let me help you with that.
That’s because women think in terms of what’s best for a community and the members of the community.
A man hears those sentences as 5 Star General orders cause guess who else used to speak to him that way?
If you guessed his mother, you would be right!
Now you don’t want to be coming across like his mother who in his mind nagged him constantly.
BTW . . . I don’t think most men are consciously aware of this connection between the words . . . Could you please do something for me and his mother.
But, watch his body language when you say it this way. You’ll probably see him bristle in some way.
So back to my dilemma of needing so much help and how to ask for it.
The answer is so simple.
Men truly want to make you happy.
They want to be a hero in your eyes and the way to trigger that is to use the what I call the 4 magic words, I need your help or the 5 magic words, Could you do me a favor?
These are words that trigger a man to want to step up and help you.
I know you’re probably thinking am I supposed to use that every time I want something?
YES!
I know once I started using them, my honey couldn’t do enough for me.
I had triggered his DNA coding to keep me safe and protected versus what I had been doing when I felt so stressed.
Now, I’m in a walking cast so I’m pretty independent again.
I can’t drive yet but thankfully, he’s happy to take me out to dinner all the time so I get out of the house every day and he still asks if there is anything I need before he leaves in the morning.
He has made my life so much easier for me during a trying time and I am so grateful for him in my life.
To me, he truly is my hero!
Believing in You!
Your Next Steps to Love after 50. . . .
💞 Feeling like you are on a merry-go-round of mismatched dates? Lets press pause and talk about how we can write a new love story for you. Click here to start our conversation. Tell me your story – I am here to listen and guide you towards meeting someone truly special.
If you are still gearing up for that step, I have plenty of insights and inspiration for you:
1. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for heartfelt dating wisdom and uplifting success stories from women who have been just where you are. They found love, and so can you. Click here to watch and learn.
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3. Join our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group to find camaraderie and connection. It is a warm and welcoming space to share your journey and receive support every step of the way. Click here to become part of our community.
4. On the lookout for a dating site that resonates with you? Browse through my personal selection of the best dating sites tailor-made for fabulous over 50s. Click here and say goodbye to guesswork.
Let these resources be your steppingstones to a love life filled with promise and joy. When you are ready, I am here to take that journey with you. Together, lets find your Mr. Right! 🌹
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Copyright© 2024 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved.
So sorry to hear you’re on crutches…..what happened?
Thanks for this….. great words of wisdom from you as always ❣️
Hi Ilene. I was on crutches because I fractured the tibia in my right ankle. They say it’s part of the shin bone. Fortunately, I am now walking in an air cast. And thank you for letting me know that my blogs are so helpful to you. Love and hugs~
Thanks for the great story and most especially for the example!! Something I will try.
So great to speak with you the other day.
Thanks Stephanie and it was wonderful talking to you as well! Look forward to talking again in March. Lots of hugs~
Wonderful article/post. I broke my tibia a few years ago. It was horrible feeling so helpless! I’m so happy you have a partner who is there for you. I wish you a speedy rexovery!
You are so right about how to ask for things from a man in words that don’t remind him of his mother. I very much appreciate the “coding” or phrases, you recommend. Great advice! Thank you. Will look forward to using these tips when I find my Mr Right someday.
Thank you Jean for the good wishes. I so appreciate them!!!!! These words will make a huge difference in your life with all men. My clients have used them with men in the workplace, their sons, their brothers and their boyfriends. They truly are magical!!!!! Let me know how they work for you. Hugs~
That is very sweet, Lisa. Thank you for sharing that amount of vulnerability with us. I imagine it would be hard for me to train myself to ask in the new way. Was it hard for you?
Yes Madeline it was hard to think differently in the beginning and when I’m under stress, I can revert back to my old ways. But, I kept at it and was amazed at the magic that happened when I used the 4 and 5 magic words. Men couldn’t do enough to make me happy. Hope you’ll try those and let me know how they work for you. Hugs~
Great insight! Heal quickly!!
Thank you Barbara. xoxoxo
Thank you so much for sharing. It’s very hard for me to say I need something from anyone. I think some of that is due to asking and being ignored, and part from feeling the need to be independent. I need to be needed, but don’t want to need others so wouldn’t have thought of saying “I need…”
I hope you continue to heal well. It’s not fun to be limited in what you can do for yourself. I know from multiple joint replacements. So glad you have someone who enjoys taking care of you.
Thank you Darlene for your kind words. Yes, I agree, it is hard for us to ask for what we need. It’s really worth trying those words with men. They do work and men do meet your needs then because you trigger the hero response in them. Let me know when you use them and how it works for you getting your needs met. Lots of hugs~
Your husband doesn’t deserve you. You’re walking around on crutches, wincing every time you take a step, and he’s waiting for you to tell him what to do? Send him packing back to mommy.