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Monica was so tired of being disappointed by the men she was dating. After finding each other online, she met Andy at a bar for their first date. They’d spend hours laughing on the phone and had such a good time together.
They had a couple of great dates and then…the red flags started popping up everywhere about this man and the great dating relationship she thought she had, began to sour.
Monica was so frustrated and tired of dating men who were losers. She wanted to know how she could start telling the good guys from the bad ones.
She wanted to stop her continuous “broken heart syndrome” of liking men who ultimately didn’t turn out to be who she thought they were.
What’s going on here happens everyday in the dating world. When men and women first meet, both have brought the best of themselves to the dating table. It’s a little bit like a play where actors are pretending to be someone else.
We all put our best foot forward on a first date…because we want to appear wonderful to the person sitting across from us so they will like who we are.
So we find ourselves falling in love during those first few dates with that wonderful person we think we are getting to know.
But what’s really happening is we are falling in love with an idea of who we think this man is.
And, our idea does not necessarily match the reality of the man himself. And that’s when we find ourselves disappointed. Its like we woke up from a dream and found a nightmare staring at us instead.
Let’s face it…anyone can be an actor for an hour, a day and even a couple of weeks or months but no one can sustain first date behavior forever.
Over time, our true personalities start coming out and that is what Monica was seeing with the men she went out with.
You can’t judge a book by its cover. It takes quite a while to be able to figure out who a man really is. But, there are signs you can watch for in the behavior he shows you that is going to help you identify the Good Guys from the Not So Good Guys out there.
A Non Quality Man will…
- Be abrupt with you. Maybe he cuts you off and doesn’t let you voice your opinions or maybe he totally disregards your feelings.
- He’s secretive meaning he purposely avoids answering questions about different parts of his life and you know he’s hiding something but can’t quite put your finger on it.
- He’s condescending. He is laughing at you -not with you and telling you that you aren’t enough whether it’s being smart enough or pretty enough or thin enough. He makes you feel not ok about who you are.
- He’s evasive, which means he’ll change the subject or laugh it off saying we’ll talk about it later but he never does. Frustrating right?
On the other hand a Quality Man is…
- Both honest and loyal wanting to share his life with you.
- He wants to make you happy and part of that is telling you how wonderful you are and how much you mean to him.
- He walks his talk, meaning he follows through on whatever he tells you he’ll do to the best of his ability.
- And he’s eager to hear about and be a part of your life.
I hope this guide helps you in the future with the men you meet. Take it slow and be careful of getting too emotionally attached before you really know who a man is.
Let me know if you’ve ever had a man turn into someone totally different then you thought he was. You can post your comments here.
And remember to watch your mailbox this week for “4 Secrets to Finding Mr. Right”
Until next time-
Believing in You!
Your Next Steps to Love after 50. . . .
💞 Feeling like you are on a merry-go-round of mismatched dates? Lets press pause and talk about how we can write a new love story for you. Click here to start our conversation. Tell me your story – I am here to listen and guide you towards meeting someone truly special.
If you are still gearing up for that step, I have plenty of insights and inspiration for you:
1. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for heartfelt dating wisdom and uplifting success stories from women who have been just where you are. They found love, and so can you. Click here to watch and learn.
2. Discover a new chapter in your dating life with my book, "The Winning Dating Formula." It is more than a book; it is your journey to love mapped out. And it is just a click away on Amazon. Click here and start attracting the love you deserve.
3. Join our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group to find camaraderie and connection. It is a warm and welcoming space to share your journey and receive support every step of the way. Click here to become part of our community.
4. On the lookout for a dating site that resonates with you? Browse through my personal selection of the best dating sites tailor-made for fabulous over 50s. Click here and say goodbye to guesswork.
Let these resources be your steppingstones to a love life filled with promise and joy. When you are ready, I am here to take that journey with you. Together, lets find your Mr. Right! 🌹
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Copyright© 2024 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved.
Lisa, your comments are just perfect. I call the men you describe, Relationship Rats. And you have accurately warned against their behaviors which don’t lead to finding a Forever Love. I’m so hoping your readers listen to your wise words, you are doing ladies everywhere such a favor!
Thank you Marcia. Looking forward to your pearls of wisdom coming out later this month! Can’t wait!
Yes i have my first ex-boyfriend and he still won’t leave me alone , he was bad.
Still trying to get my second ex-boyfriend back the good one , the British one. <3
I broke up with the first because he was bad , but i want my second ex-boyfriend back the good one , the British one.
I hear you Sarah. But if your 2nd boyfriend dumped you, that might be the reason you still want him back. Something gets triggered… making us want a man who does this to us even more. Try and remember that whatever broke you up in the first place is still there.
I can remember painting a picture in my mind of who an ex was. Yet, months later, when I ran into him somewhere, it reminded me of who he really was-not who I imagined him to be all the months I thought I wanted him again…and that’s when I was finally able to move on.
If its been a while, see if you can meet up with him so you can get a “Reality Check” of whether your feelings are for the reality of him or the person you’ve been imagining him to be. Keep me posted on how this go.