How Dating This Way Hurts Your Chances Of Ever Finding Love in Your 40’s, 50’s and 60’s
My friend Suzanne tragically lost the love of her life in her 40’s.
When it happened she told me it felt like her heart literally shattered into a million pieces.
The wound was so deep that it took her almost 10 years before she was willing to dip her toe into the dating pool.
She eventually did and ended up meeting a very wealthy businessman.
I can remember her being so drawn to his intelligence….NOT to his heart.
They ended up marrying; had a beautiful wedding, white dress and all and lived a lifestyle many would envy.
They traveled first class around the world.
They dined at the finest restaurants.
They bought a gorgeous old home and spent millions of dollars renovating it.
They had tickets to the symphony and the ballet and travelled all the time to see the latest Broadway plays appearing in New York.
About 5 years into their marriage, she decided to retire from her high power corporate job just as her husband decided to expand his business.
The money was flowing and on the outside, they looked like the perfect couple with the perfect life.
It wasn’t until after they divorced that Suzanne told me the truth about how lonely it felt to be married to someone whose mistress was work.
She’d been missing an intimacy you can only get on a soul level when your hearts connect.
Notice I said your hearts not your minds which is what Suzanne loved about this man from the get-go.
Fast forward a few years later and Suzanne meets another wealthy businessman.
And guess what the first words out of her mouth were…if you guessed I loved his intelligence than you would be right.
This was a red flag that kept her in the pattern of dating the wrong men and that’s a problem when you’re looking for love.
As a Love Coach, I help women create what I call a Quality Man Template so they can finally see that their type might not be the best match for them.
But without help, it can be hard to do.
You could walk into a room filled with 100 men.
99 of these men would be good for you but the only one you’d be attracted to would be the guy you think is your type.
But truthfully, if your type worked for you, you would still be with him. Right?
(I’d love to help you too stop the endless cycle of dating the wrong man over and over again. If this is you, let’s set up a time to chat about how we can get you back on track for meeting the perfect man for you. Click here and apply for a Complimentary Dare to Live Your Dream of Finding Love Session with me.)
Now back to the story…I asked my friend if I could share an observation with her both as her friend and as a dating coach.
She said, “of course!”
I told her that even though she was thrilled by this man’s intelligence, it was going to keep her once again from getting to that place of intimacy she had so craved in her 2nd marriage.
Next I asked her this IMPORTANT question….
“Are you protecting your heart?”
Like so many of my clients, she was afraid of getting her heart crushed again like she had so long ago.
So what would she do to protect herself?
She’d quickly find faults in the men she dated.
And she found a quality that would keep her heart safe…an attraction to a man’s intelligence.
But his mind wasn’t going to keep her warm at night.
I gave her my Secret Attraction Formula, which I want to share with you too…
A man’s personality + His appearance = Attraction.
When I asked her if she liked his personality the only thing she could say was that the dating world is messy.
Yes it can be messy and scary because it makes you so vulnerable.
Men love your accomplishments, they love your intelligence but what they love most about you is your heart and your vulnerability.
When you’re able to trust a man, you are triggering his hero response that wants to always keep you safe, protected and happy.
Like my friend, many women block their hearts because they are afraid of getting hurt again.
But if you block your heart, you can’t get the closeness you want with a man.
Whether you’re a professional woman, a mom, a grandma, a woman who is spiritual or super intelligent, it’s likely you’re blocking your heart in some way that’s keeping you from the perfect man for you.
So here’s the question…Is YOUR HEART open to love?
If it is…great!
But if its not, here’s what you can do about that.
I’ve created a Free Love Gift from my heart to yours to help you start the process of opening your heart to the perfect man for you. Click here to access it now.
Once you’ve listened, come back and share with me how you’ve blocked your own heart and how it’s been keeping you from finding love in the second half of your life.
Believing in You!
P.S. Whenever you are ready, here are four ways I can help you find love after 50
#1: Get a copy of my book The Winning Dating Formula on Amazon
Where I will walk you through a step-by-step breakdown of the exact tools and strategies you need for attracting the right man into your life — Click here
#2: Join the Finding Love after 50 Facebook group
It’s our Facebook community where you can connect with me and a community of women ready to support you on your journey for finding love after 50 — Click here
#3: Work with me 1-on-1 or in my Group Program
I would love to learn more about your dating journey, understand where you might be stuck, and give you a personalized step-by-step blueprint to attract the right man. And maybe even talk about how we can work together.
If you are interested in learning more about how I can help, you can Click here to answer a few quick questions and schedule a call.
#4: Subscribe to my YouTube Channel
Click here to explore my YouTube channel for valuable tips on dating and relationships after 50! Discover insights that will empower you to attract the right partner with confidence.
Copyright© 2024 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved.
Lisa, thank you. Your book and articles have helped me navigate the dating world as a woman who meet my husband 40 years ago and now mid fifties have had to date after a 36 year absence. I also was attracting narcissists (like my husband)and I needed to change that course. I am currently dating a man with a big heart and not self absorbed. He is not my typical kind of man and I love and understand that. Thank you !