Are You Addicted To A Man in the over 50’s dating game?
Elana, a lovely single woman in her 50’s loved Henry with all her heart.
Yet, it hadn’t always been an easy road for them.
They’d broken up at least 3 times during the two and a half years they’d been together.
When they were apart, an intense longing for the other would occur.
They’d come back together and find themselves in a harmonious honeymoon period of heartfelt love and a lot of sex.
But it wouldn’t take long for the problems that had created their breakup to reappear.
Elana didn’t understand why the love they felt wasn’t enough for working through the difficulties that always seemed to show up.
True…she and Henry were so different and her friends would always tell her they couldn’t understand why she was with him.
She knew that they didn’t live their lives in the same way, and she accepted that.
She was a Ritz kind of girl and he was more of a camping dude.
She could get past all of this because she felt their heart connection would sustain them through thick and thin.
But she was tired of him taking off on little trips to explore the countryside without her.
And she found trying to get a commitment from him just to go to dinner with friends was like pulling teeth.
She wanted more from him.
She really wanted their relationship to go to the next level.
He was a good man and even though they didn’t have a lot in common, she could feel him in her heart all the time.
In fact, she could feel him in her heart whenever he was thinking about her and that made it feel like he was with her even when he wasn’t.
Having this connection brought her tremendous comfort even though in person they weren’t getting along very well.
So was Elana really in love with Henry?
The truth is, Elana was probably addicted to Henry.
A hormone called Oxytocin releases in your body when you intimately bond with a man.
This hormone helps you open your heart to love again.
For some women, it can create an addiction to the wrong man.
The 5 questions below can help you identify whether or not addiction is happening in your love life.
Question #1. Oxytocin creates a high that is often mistaken for love. Are you feeling a zing every time you think of him?
The longing they each felt is a longing for the Oxytocin high that happens when you think about the other person.
The great sex after a breakup is the fix when Oxytocin is once again released.
It released every time Elana thought about Henry creating a false sense of connection that kept them together longer than it should have.
Question #2. What do you really love about this man you have such an intense heart connection with?
It’s important to hone in on the qualities he brings to the table beyond sex and the heart connection you feel.
Question #3. What qualities do you NOT love about this man?
Elana and Henry continued breaking up for a reason.
His inability to commit to anything was a huge issue for her.
Chances are their values didn’t match and that’s why they broke up so often.
Question #4. Does he bring enough to table for the type of relationship you want to create with him.
When it’s an Oxytocin addiction, there’s usually not enough going on in the relationship beyond sex and a heart connection.
Almost everything else becomes annoying or irritating and feels unsolvable.
Question #5. To overcome an Oxytocin Addiction you’ll want to get yourself busy. What activities do you enjoy?
The longing will come back but with it you’ll also feel a sense of freedom from being out from under a relationship that isn’t working for you.
An Oxytocin addiction can stay with you for months or even years.
To break it, start by acknowledging the addiction.
Stop all contact with the man by texts, email, phone, Facebook or in person.
Otherwise, the addiction starts all over again.
And get busy doing things you love.
It will take your mind off the Oxytocin high you’re seeking.
You can do it but it can take time.
Isn’t it time to feel lovable and empowered in the over 50’s dating game so you can open your heart and finally attract the right man for you?
This is what we’re going to be working on together in our 6 month Love after 50 coaching group.
It starts this month and I’d love to give you the tools, support and community to find your Mr. Right.
Interested? Click here and let’s set up a time to talk about how this group coaching program can change your love life forever.
BTW . . . to know if this program is right for you, ask yourself where you’ll be a year from now if you keep doing the same things you’re doing now.
Until next time~
Believing in You!
Your Next Steps to Love after 50. . . .
💞 Feeling like you are on a merry-go-round of mismatched dates? Lets press pause and talk about how we can write a new love story for you. Click here to start our conversation. Tell me your story – I am here to listen and guide you towards meeting someone truly special.
If you are still gearing up for that step, I have plenty of insights and inspiration for you:
1. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for heartfelt dating wisdom and uplifting success stories from women who have been just where you are. They found love, and so can you. Click here to watch and learn.
2. Discover a new chapter in your dating life with my book, "The Winning Dating Formula." It is more than a book; it is your journey to love mapped out. And it is just a click away on Amazon. Click here and start attracting the love you deserve.
3. Join our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group to find camaraderie and connection. It is a warm and welcoming space to share your journey and receive support every step of the way. Click here to become part of our community.
4. On the lookout for a dating site that resonates with you? Browse through my personal selection of the best dating sites tailor-made for fabulous over 50s. Click here and say goodbye to guesswork.
Let these resources be your steppingstones to a love life filled with promise and joy. When you are ready, I am here to take that journey with you. Together, lets find your Mr. Right! 🌹
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