3 Reasons Why Men Disappear in Over 50’s Dating
Ellen met Alan at a local restaurant for their first date.
His good looks literally took her breath away as he sat across the table looking so handsome and sexy in his black pants, white shirt, and sports coat.
Wow, …she couldn’t believe how nice he’d dressed for her. She loved that he so wanted to impress her.
As she sat across the table from Alan, she felt like she’d met the man of her dreams.
He was amazing… openly talking about anything and everything including exploring the possibility of a relationship with her. (this, by the way, was a red flag so early in the date!)
And the best thing was he loved doing the same things she loved doing.
They had so much in common!
She was feeling like Alan could be her guy.
The next time they met, Alan came back to her home and as they talked and laughed, he offered to rub her feet.
She felt like she’d died and gone to heaven.
No man had ever done this before.
His touch was perfect and she found herself just melting into his blue eyes and gentle hands as they talked more and more about the possibilities of being in a relationship together. (there’s that red flag showing up again…too early in the game for serious relationship talk)
As the third date approached, Ellen felt like she was really falling for this man.
Maybe even feeling a little bit in love already. (It’s more likely she was falling in lust from the chemistry they shared)
The morning of their date, Alan texted that he couldn’t make it that night.
He also mentioned that he thought they should just be friends.
Ellen was stunned and devastated.
Up to now, everything this man had said and done had screamed of a relationship.
Thinking she’d met the man of her dreams, she couldn’t understand why he’d backed away.
Sadly, what happened to Ellen is actually pretty common.
I want to share 3 reasons for how this can happen to you.
#1. Not understanding that 3 dates doesn’t make a relationship
When you meet a man you’re attracted to on a first date, it’s normal to get excited.
And even before you’ve finished your cup of coffee it’s not uncommon to start imagining yourself in a wedding dress walking down the aisle with this special guy.
Having said this… I want you to pay close attention to the next few sentences.
1st dates are meet and greets.
2nd dates are for getting to know him better.
3rd dates are for getting to know him better.
4th dates are for getting to know him even better.
Get my drift?
Unless the two of you decide you’re in an exclusive relationship, you’re not!
#2. Men talk out loud about what they are thinking but it doesn’t mean its true
Alan was exploring what it would feel like to be in a relationship with Ellen.
As women, we process our thoughts with other women.
Men verbally try out their ideas with you to see how you might fit into their life.
It doesn’t mean something is going to happen between the two of you.
When men start talking out loud this way, remember he’s just exploring.
Take it with a grain of salt.
#3. Men are afraid too
Disappearing isn’t about you.
It’s about something going on inside of him, whether its fear, confusion or just him talking out loud about what he thinks he wants.
A man might verbally explore a relationship with you because he wants it, but that doesn’t mean he’s ready for it and that is probably what happened here with Ellen and Alan.
He may have gotten scared and backed off till he could sort his feelings out.
Men get scared too!
Give them the space to figure this out on their own.
Don’t contact them. It doesn’t help to let them know you’re thinking of them.
When and if he’s ready, he’ll reach out to you.
In the meantime, date other men.
You want someone who like you, is interested in seeing if a relationship is possible.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve achieved success already. It doesn’t matter if you consider yourself strong and motivated and capable of finding love after 50, or of “recovering” from a setback or a dating rut.
If you don’t have the support of a really good coach – and a community of like-minded people – chances are high you’ll experience unpredictable results in your love life.
And let’s face it; it’s hard to feel safe when you’re stuck in a pattern of not knowing what to do next, right?
But it IS possible to have the right man and relationship you dream about!
The Find Love after 50 group coaching program is starting soon. Is one of the spots yours?
If this is calling to you . . . if you have a positive attitude and appreciate strong and purposeful guidance to get you where you want to be . . . Then click here to get on my calendar and let’s talk.
Together, we’ll decide if the Find Love after 50 group is right for you and how it can help you get the man and relationship you want.
Believing in You!
Your Next Steps to Love after 50. . . .
💞 Feeling like you are on a merry-go-round of mismatched dates? Lets press pause and talk about how we can write a new love story for you. Click here to start our conversation. Tell me your story – I am here to listen and guide you towards meeting someone truly special.
If you are still gearing up for that step, I have plenty of insights and inspiration for you:
1. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for heartfelt dating wisdom and uplifting success stories from women who have been just where you are. They found love, and so can you. Click here to watch and learn.
2. Discover a new chapter in your dating life with my book, "The Winning Dating Formula." It is more than a book; it is your journey to love mapped out. And it is just a click away on Amazon. Click here and start attracting the love you deserve.
3. Join our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group to find camaraderie and connection. It is a warm and welcoming space to share your journey and receive support every step of the way. Click here to become part of our community.
4. On the lookout for a dating site that resonates with you? Browse through my personal selection of the best dating sites tailor-made for fabulous over 50s. Click here and say goodbye to guesswork.
Let these resources be your steppingstones to a love life filled with promise and joy. When you are ready, I am here to take that journey with you. Together, lets find your Mr. Right! 🌹
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Copyright© 2024 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved.
This is so true! They say all kinds of things out loud. You listen but they aren’t talking to you. Had this exact experience. He thinks he is my friend but fact is i don’t even know him.
That is exactly what talking out loud is. Thank you for sharing. Hugs~