Dear Lisa – What’s the Right Timing for Sex after 50 With a New Man?

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Dear Lisa,

I was married for 27 years. My divorce happened about a year ago and I’m beginning to think its time to start dating.  I’m a woman over 50 with an empty nest and I haven’t dated since I was a teenager so I’m not totally sure about some of the rules at our age.  What I’d really like to know is when the right time is to have sex with a man you’re dating.  Is there a protocol I need to follow? Thanks for helping me. I really didn’t know where to turn so I am so grateful to have found you.

Thank you.  Catherine

Dear Catherine,

Thanks for your wonderful question. Before we go any further it’s important to note that STD’s in our age group are on the rise, so practicing safe sex is a must for every woman over 50 these days.  Now that worries over pregnancy are no longer an issue, we think we can be lax in this department. Don’t be. Always carry some type of protection with you so that when hormones heat up, you are protected. Sounds a lot like our teen years doesn’t it? A great place for more information is from your Dr. on this topic.

Now that this is out of the way, lets get to your question about sex and dating. Let’s start with 1^st date sex. Sometimes, we have such strong chemistry with a man that we hop into bed with him on date #1. Hey our hormonal urges sometimes need a good fix and there is nothing wrong with that. You just need to be aware that 1^st date sex is usually just that-a fix that doesn’t go much further. It’s a fun fling and the best way to avoid it is to keep a date under 2 hours so you don’t risk feeling so connected that you want to have sex with him right away.

(Do you have questions about dating over 50 that you’d like answers to? If so, go to https://wwwfindaqualityman.com and click on the Dear Lisa tab.  I am going to start answering your questions and concerns every Thursday. I look forward to hearing from you and look forward to giving you answers to what’s troubling you about dating)

Some say date #3 is supposed to be the sex date. This is a great urban legend for women our age but is probably very much true for the younger crowd. Of course you can have sex on the 3^rd date if you’d like-just be sure to go with your instincts and whether or not it feels right for you. At this point, leave his feelings or pressures about moving forward into a physical relationship out of the equation until you know what it is that you want to do.

A very interesting piece of info you might want to know is that men over 50 really want to develop a friendship with you first to see if there is a connection that feels right for moving into the physical phase. No that’s a change isn’t it?

Yet, that being said, there are still men out there who want fast and easy sex.  So be sure your online profile doesn’t mention anything about sex or making love or how long it’s been since you’ve had sex.  This sends the wrong message to men and if its there in black and white for a man to read on his computer, he will assume that it is sex -not a relationship that you are looking for.

My best advice about sex and dating is to always follow your instincts although if the sexual pull is super strong right away-remember that this is HOT CHEMISTRY.  Be careful here and go slow if this is the case. You want a relationship built on a foundation of friendship because once the sex wanes if friendship isn’t there, the relationship with nothing left to support it will crumble.

Take your time and don’t let a man pressure you into something you don’t want to do yet.  If he is not willing to wait for the moment you are ready, then he is probably not the right man for you.  There are plenty of other men out there who will be.  Hope this helps.

Believing in You!

Your Next Steps to Love after 50. . . .

💞 Feeling like you are on a merry-go-round of mismatched dates? Lets press pause and talk about how we can write a new love story for you. Click here to start our conversation. Tell me your story – I am here to listen and guide you towards meeting someone truly special.

If you are still gearing up for that step, I have plenty of insights and inspiration for you:

1. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for heartfelt dating wisdom and uplifting success stories from women who have been just where you are. They found love, and so can you. Click here to watch and learn.

2. Discover a new chapter in your dating life with my book, "The Winning Dating Formula." It is more than a book; it is your journey to love mapped out. And it is just a click away on Amazon. Click here and start attracting the love you deserve.

3. Join our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group to find camaraderie and connection. It is a warm and welcoming space to share your journey and receive support every step of the way. Click here to become part of our community.

4. On the lookout for a dating site that resonates with you? Browse through my personal selection of the best dating sites tailor-made for fabulous over 50s. Click here and say goodbye to guesswork.

Let these resources be your steppingstones to a love life filled with promise and joy. When you are ready, I am here to take that journey with you. Together, lets find your Mr. Right! 🌹

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