The Big Reason Why Katie Couric Is Not Married
Katie Couric and Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger talked about my article on the Huffington Post on Tuesday’s Katie Show.
You can watch the clip here, and read the article they discussed below. Although dating expert Stanger agrees with my take on alpha women, Katie seems hesitant to follow my advice.
Will you take my advice?
After 15 years of being single, Katie Couric recently said she was ready for a relationship that could lead to marriage.
All Katie has to do is look around and she’ll find herself in great company with less than famous boomer women who are in the same situation she’s in.
So what is happening here? Why are these dynamic, powerhouse women still single so many years after their marriages ended?
Katie and many women our age look great. They lead successful lives. And I’m sure (just as your friends say to you) Katie is probably told over and over again how she’s such a great catch.
And she is. Katie has been a role model personally and professionally for many of us for decades now. We love her style, we admire her parenting and we feel like she could be a best friend.
So what is happening here? Why can’t Katie, and so many powerful women of our generation, find a man to marry?
Powerful women like Katie usually want to date a man who is just like she is – smart, successful and respected.
But the alpha male to whom Katie is attracted does not want to marry a woman who is a clone of himself. More than likely, this man is looking for a woman who will let him give; who will appreciate everything he does for her.
Women of our generation were rarely advised on how to receive from a man. If anything, we were taught we didn’t need men in our lives. We were encouraged to become strong and independent women and we learned to take care of ourselves with or without a man’s presence.
We’ve spent years fighting our way to the top of the corporate ladder becoming successful, powerful and influential women in our fields. We are used to making decisions and we know how to get things done.
We are the president at work and we are used to being the president at home. And we don’t know how to turn that feeling off when it comes to men. We want equality in all areas of our lives.
The problem is when we want an alpha male, we are threatening the ingrained role in men’s DNA from caveman days of needing to be the provider. An alpha male looks at Katie and doesn’t know how to play the provider role of being able to give to Katie in a way that will make her happy.
The inability for boomer women to receive from a man is why boomer men often turn to younger women for companionship. It’s not necessarily the eye candy he’s looking for. It’s the appreciation he craves that younger women give to him by joyfully receiving his gifts. Something women our age don’t always do.
An alpha male wants to cherish his woman by showing her he can protect her financially, emotionally and physically to the best of his ability. This role makes a woman like Katie feel safe and protected. In theory, she likes his decisiveness, but in reality she often has a hard time letting him be the leader.
And the alpha man might love her mind but will quickly tire of competing with her for the leadership role.
So what is powerful woman to do? A beta male is a better fit for Katie and other alpha women out there. These men will respect their alpha female and let her make the major decisions in the relationship.
In return, a woman of authority will cherish a man who doesn’t mind taking a backseat. He may not have the job or status alpha females are used to, but he will have other qualities to offer the relationship that can be beneficial, like the ability to emotionally support in a way an alpha man can’t. Wouldn’t that be nice after a hard day at work?
I’d love to hear what you think in the comments.
Believing in You!
P.S. Whenever you are ready, here are four ways I can help you find love after 50
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I read this and two couples that readily comes to mind as alpha-women, and beta-males are Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham, Tina Turner and Erwin Bach.
Great examples. If you look around at friends who have good relationships, one will take the alpha lead and the other the beta. It can switch back forth in a relationship based on who does what best but usually one will overall be more Alpha then the other. So appreciate you sharing this with us Axliuno. Hugs ~ Lisa
What a bunch of sexist garbage!!! If that’s what a smart, powerful, successful woman has to do to “land” a man, she’s better off not being married! And it’s complete B.S. anyways! Any mature man worth marrying should be confident enough to embrace the traits of a woman like Katie Couric. And what does Patti Stanger know? She’s over 50, never been married, famous for being a brazen, controversial reality show “star,” and she’s engaged to a total loser. I sure want advice on relationships from her!
What most women don’t realize is the power their femininity has over men. This is not the kind where you lay down and be a doormat to what a man wants. That’s giving up your power.
This is about learning to let a man give to a woman and for a woman to graciously receive it. By the way, these roles can be turned around where the man is the receiver and the woman the giver. Thanks for your insights….Lots of hugs~Lisa
I was married to a beta man for 17 years and thought I’d go out of my mind being in charge of him along with the 3 kids. I dated many other beta men too thinking that’s what I needed as a strong, independent alpha female, but I was miserable always feeing so masculine. I finally found a man almost four years ago who is the epitome of alpha masculine male; the attraction is amazing but we broke up 8 times including calling off two weddings due to butting our alpha heads. The last breakup almost killed both of us; it lasted 9 months. I spent the time listening to Pat Allen, Evan Mark Katz, Ariel, and others talk about how an alpha woman can control that if she wants to be with an alpha male, and so far I think I’m doing well with it. I have my man back, and we talk about this issue a lot and joke about it especially when my alpha side tries to dominate him and I take a step back and try a different more feminine approach which works wonders on him. He, in turn, loves to please me. I love my alpha man and would never want to be with a beta again.