Lisa thanks – and I know this is an older article that I am only recently posting, but I think it is really at the core of our ‘won’t grow up’ generation… even in our 50s.
I smell that eye candy philosophy, and I’m outa there…
February 20, 2013 at 6:11 pm
Lisa
Tom…It feels like both males and females of our age date like they are in their 20’s and they are missing great people not recognizing the unique qualities of people our age.
I’m so glad you are adding your comments in our community. Keep posting. Love hearing from you.
Lisa
February 19, 2013 at 11:21 am
Lisa
Hi Tom
You’ve given us great insight into the male perspective. Often women forget you have feelings too.
I do think men and women try and date the cutest people out there because it makes them feel good about themselves to be seen with them. It’s like they got the BIG PRIZE…chances are the booby prize.
They hotties don’t always make the best boyfriends. It’s men like you Tom who may not be the cutest but sure are nice, caring and want to please a woman that will. Good luck!
February 18, 2013 at 10:53 pm
Tom again
And what can we Toms really do about flirting, if our looks are genetically inferior (despite normal weight and healthclub attendance)?
Women (many) are the same as they accuse men – throwing it all away for the eye candy. But in your 50s? We Toms see it go away months from now… so when we run into a great gal thinking its together… only to be Dear John’d at our age… well its hard not to say ‘Women, you can’t live with them, you … yep thats about it.”
February 13, 2013 at 2:11 pm
Virtual Tom
Hi – Tom here. Shelly your post was good reading. I went back to Lisa’s content and said- hey what the heck, I already DO all the things damn Clooney does, plus what I do!
The only differentials are a) better looks, and b) flirtatious behavior (see (a))
October 25, 2012 at 6:23 pm
Shelly
Ironic this should land in my email this week. I am debating the George vs Tom dilemma as I read this. I have history with George but though he is currently exclusive with me and my friends think he is”into me” I have told everyone that looks can be deceiving. Then Tom comes along. He is there whenever I need help. He does show up at my door with soup when I am sick and poetry is a regular occurence in my email box. The problem is he does not fit my vision of what my partner should look like. How can I be so shallow. I am a widow and had more of a quarter century with a man with Clooney looks but Tom’s personality. I am finding it “hard” to not want it all again. I get the point you make us, more importantly me. Look beyond the exterior, for the quality person underneath. I am coming around, but not without mis-steps. I do not do well with multiple intimate relationships, so the time to make a choice is now. Last week I told Tom that George was back in my life. He gallantly stepped aside but not without making me realize that I was probably letting the “better man go”. This week I will probably allow George to leave my life. Funny I gave a friends daughter this advise, “Never sleep with a man that you do not truly believe you can count on to do the right thing if anything went wrong.” I was not taking my own advise. George needs to go.
Shelly
October 25, 2012 at 11:29 pm
Lisa
Sounds Shelly like you’ve got it figured out. Hope you’ll keep us posted on how it goes.
Lisa: Your blog today just had EXCELLENT content. In reality, I don’t think the choice is quite that cut and dry. There are men available who have the best of both types; the honesty, compassion, acceptance, and loving nature of the Tom’s and yet the style, elegance, and zest for life of the George’s. I think your readers will get the Man They Want, if they are very clear and concise when they write their very detailed Wish List and design their Dream Boards. The Universe will find their perfect man; it works time and time again. It’s up to us, as women, to be clear about what we want and why we want it. Much begins with self love! Until we love and accept ourselves, it’s hard to ask the universe to bring us the perfect man who will love us.
Such wonderful words of wisdom Marcia and so true. It would be nice to have a little of both. I know you have a wonderful relationship and have written about it in your book, The Marriage Mouse. Thanks for sharing your thoughts here. Lots of hugs.
I’m definitely a George Clooney fan, but want the kind caring characteristics of Tom too! I’ll bear it all in mind, when I venture out into the dating world next time. Thank you!
Maxine
October 15, 2012 at 2:44 pm
Lisa
So glad you could relate Maxine 🙂 Can’t wait to hear who you decide to date -Tom or George. Lots of hugs to you
Lisa
Tom again
Lisa thanks – and I know this is an older article that I am only recently posting, but I think it is really at the core of our ‘won’t grow up’ generation… even in our 50s.
I smell that eye candy philosophy, and I’m outa there…
Lisa
Tom…It feels like both males and females of our age date like they are in their 20’s and they are missing great people not recognizing the unique qualities of people our age.
I’m so glad you are adding your comments in our community. Keep posting. Love hearing from you.
Lisa
Lisa
Hi Tom
You’ve given us great insight into the male perspective. Often women forget you have feelings too.
I do think men and women try and date the cutest people out there because it makes them feel good about themselves to be seen with them. It’s like they got the BIG PRIZE…chances are the booby prize.
They hotties don’t always make the best boyfriends. It’s men like you Tom who may not be the cutest but sure are nice, caring and want to please a woman that will. Good luck!
Tom again
And what can we Toms really do about flirting, if our looks are genetically inferior (despite normal weight and healthclub attendance)?
Women (many) are the same as they accuse men – throwing it all away for the eye candy. But in your 50s? We Toms see it go away months from now… so when we run into a great gal thinking its together… only to be Dear John’d at our age… well its hard not to say ‘Women, you can’t live with them, you … yep thats about it.”
Virtual Tom
Hi – Tom here. Shelly your post was good reading. I went back to Lisa’s content and said- hey what the heck, I already DO all the things damn Clooney does, plus what I do!
The only differentials are a) better looks, and b) flirtatious behavior (see (a))
Shelly
Ironic this should land in my email this week. I am debating the George vs Tom dilemma as I read this. I have history with George but though he is currently exclusive with me and my friends think he is”into me” I have told everyone that looks can be deceiving. Then Tom comes along. He is there whenever I need help. He does show up at my door with soup when I am sick and poetry is a regular occurence in my email box. The problem is he does not fit my vision of what my partner should look like. How can I be so shallow. I am a widow and had more of a quarter century with a man with Clooney looks but Tom’s personality. I am finding it “hard” to not want it all again. I get the point you make us, more importantly me. Look beyond the exterior, for the quality person underneath. I am coming around, but not without mis-steps. I do not do well with multiple intimate relationships, so the time to make a choice is now. Last week I told Tom that George was back in my life. He gallantly stepped aside but not without making me realize that I was probably letting the “better man go”. This week I will probably allow George to leave my life. Funny I gave a friends daughter this advise, “Never sleep with a man that you do not truly believe you can count on to do the right thing if anything went wrong.” I was not taking my own advise. George needs to go.
Shelly
Lisa
Sounds Shelly like you’ve got it figured out. Hope you’ll keep us posted on how it goes.
Marcia
Lisa: Your blog today just had EXCELLENT content. In reality, I don’t think the choice is quite that cut and dry. There are men available who have the best of both types; the honesty, compassion, acceptance, and loving nature of the Tom’s and yet the style, elegance, and zest for life of the George’s. I think your readers will get the Man They Want, if they are very clear and concise when they write their very detailed Wish List and design their Dream Boards. The Universe will find their perfect man; it works time and time again. It’s up to us, as women, to be clear about what we want and why we want it. Much begins with self love! Until we love and accept ourselves, it’s hard to ask the universe to bring us the perfect man who will love us.
My best,
Marcia
Marcia Reece
http://www.marriagemouse.com
http://www.amazon.com/author/marciareece
http://www.twitter.com/marciareece
Lisa
Such wonderful words of wisdom Marcia and so true. It would be nice to have a little of both. I know you have a wonderful relationship and have written about it in your book, The Marriage Mouse. Thanks for sharing your thoughts here. Lots of hugs.
Maxine
Great post LIsa,
It could have been written just for me 🙂
I’m definitely a George Clooney fan, but want the kind caring characteristics of Tom too! I’ll bear it all in mind, when I venture out into the dating world next time. Thank you!
Maxine
Lisa
So glad you could relate Maxine 🙂 Can’t wait to hear who you decide to date -Tom or George. Lots of hugs to you
Lisa