Dear Lisa…Breaking Up is Hard to Do in over 50’s Dating

 

Hi Lisa,

I’ve been dating a man who lives in another city.  He drives 2 and a half hours to see me each time we meet. He is very different than other guys I have dated.

He works as a high school teacher. He has been very attentive, talks about his feelings a lot and brought me flowers.

I am totally used to dating Alpha Males and he is a Beta Man. I find this anxiety producing.  I actually came down with a migraine headache yesterday after our latest date.

I worry about how manly he is compared to the Alpha males I am so much more familiar with. How can I get used to seeing such a different kind of man?

I would greatly appreciate your thoughts.  Thanks  Nance

 

Nance

Congratulations on going out of the box in your usual dating patterns.

The hardest part of doing this… is that it’s going to feel uncomfortable for a while.

We as humans aren’t too keen about change in our lives and even though our old patterns don’t always work for us anymore….they feel familiar and that creates a false sense of comfort for us.

This man sounds wonderful bringing you flowers and being attentive on your dates with him.

By the way, those qualities don’t necessarily make him a total beta male.

Many men are a mixture of alpha and beta with one being more dominant then the other.

When you can…sit quietly or journal and ask yourself what is creating a migraine for you after each date.  What are you afraid of?

Getting a clear vision of the man you think you want in your life would probably help you as well.  It will serve as a guide for potential long term partners.

Also remember, you don’t have to date him to mate.  Take the pressure cooker off yourself and consider dating him just for fun and companionship right now.

You always have an opportunity to learn a lot about yourself from any many you date.

And keep in mind that every man you date will help you hone in on exactly what it is you want in a potential partner.

Over time, you’ll discover whether he’s the one for you.

In the meantime… if you enjoy his company, date him as long as it feels good to you

 

Dear Lisa

My last relationship of 5 years ended about 2 months ago and already I feel so lonely.  I really want a man in my life like yesterday.  With the holiday’s coming, I dread being alone. When can I start dating again?  Doreen

 

Doreen

Often as women, we think we need a man to complete us in life.  I believe it’s really about wanting a man to compliment us.

To compliment us, we need to know who we are again.

One of the reasons you might feel so lonely is because you’ve probably forgotten who you are and what you love to do in life.

When we start dating quickly after a breakup, and don’t do this step of finding ourselves again…what we end up doing is bringing the last him and relationship with us to the new him and the new relationship.

This is a great time to find activities and classes you might enjoy.

Chances are you stopped most of them while you were with your ex.  This is a good time to pick them up again and find new ones.

Because you’re single…you don’t have to sit alone on the weekends.

Ask your friends if they have girlfriends who are also single so you have someone to go to a movie or out to dinner with.

Use this time of healing to get a clearer vision of the next man you want in your life. Without this step, you will probably attract the same type of man again.

Would you like help figuring out the man you desire in your life?  I can help you get a clear vision of him in a Find Your Soul Mate Discovery Session.  Click the button below and let’s schedule a time for us to talk.

Here’s how you’ll know when the time is right to start dating…

You’ll have yourself back!

You’ll sparkle with an inner glow of confidence from getting to know you again….by the way this is the #1 quality men love about women!

Any feelings of bitterness or anger will be gone when you think of your ex.

When this happens you’ll know you’re emotionally healthy enough to begin looking for a new guy in your life.

To All My Wonderful Readers…. this is a time for gratitude and I am so grateful for you allowing me to be part of your life as you  travel this journey of dating over 50.  Thank you so much!

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this blog and what you are grateful for at this time in your life.

Many hugs to all of you!  Happy Thanksgiving….

Until next time~

Believing in You!

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P.S. Whenever you are ready, here are four ways I can help you find love after 50

#1: Get a copy of my book The Winning Dating Formula on Amazon



Where I will walk you through a step-by-step breakdown of the exact tools and strategies you need for attracting the right man into your life — Click here

#2: Join the Finding Love after 50 Facebook group

It’s our Facebook community where you can connect with me and a community of women ready to support you on your journey for finding love after 50 — Click here

#3: Work with me 1-on-1 or in my Group Program

I would love to learn more about your dating journey, understand where you might be stuck, and give you a personalized step-by-step blueprint to attract the right man. And maybe even talk about how we can work together.

If you are interested in learning more about how I can help, you can Click here to answer a few quick questions and schedule a call.

#4: Subscribe to my YouTube Channel

Click here to explore my YouTube channel for valuable tips on dating and relationships after 50! Discover insights that will empower you to attract the right partner with confidence.

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On November 22, 2012   /   Dating Advice Over 50