Dear Lisa…What’s With Men Over 50?
Hi Lisa,
I’m attracted to a man who lives in my apartment building and rents from me. We’ve been dating and I think I’ve fallen in love with him. I really want us to only date each other. But he says he can’t do that. He gets bored when he’s with one woman too long. He says he needs to always be dating lots of women. This is so hard on me. Is there anything I can do to change this and to make him see how great I really am for him? What can I do? ~Bella
Bella,
Men like this are “charmers” of life.
Women do anything to be with them because men like this know just what to say and do to keep you coming back to them.
I will tell you that men are pretty good at saying what they want and need, just as this man did when he told you how he wants to date other women.
I know you’d like to see him exclusively but this is not the type of man capable of giving you what you want.
If you just want to have fun, he’s a great guy to date. But if you are looking to be the only one in his life, it’s not going to happen.
Get yourself out there and find other men to date.
There are really great men out there – you’re probably passing over because you compare them to this guy.
They might seem boring at times compared to the excitement of this man but they will be the ones who will ultimately love and cherish you. Something this man will never be able to do.
One last thing… You can’t change this man. Only he can if he wants to. Either accept him how he is or it’s time to consider moving on.
Lisa,
I was married for 36 years to a wonderful man who passed away. Since then, I’ve had a couple of not so great relationships. It seems I’m not attracting the right guys.
When I look back they’ve all given me clues to who they were but for some reason, I can’t seem to recognize them at the time.
I feel like I lead with my heart, seeing only the good, instead of with my head, where the good and the not so good might be more visible.
Any suggestions on how to handle this? Are there questions I can ask him that would help me? And what can I do so I don’t get hurt every time I’m with a man. Thanks, Cathy
Cathy,
You are wearing rose color glasses, where you see every man as a great catch.
This is why you get hurt… Things seem too heavenly when you meet.
You become exclusive quickly because you’re happy, you feel in love and then boom…something happens and his real self suddenly shows up.
It probably feels like little red flags that were always there just jumped out of nowhere and surprised you.
What is happening beneath those rose color glasses is you are painting a picture in your mind of who a man is versus being able to see the real him until it’s too late.
At this point, you’ve gotten involved and you’ve gotten hurt.
There are no specific questions you can ask to figure this out ahead of time.
What you can do is listen to what men are telling you when you’re with them.
Then after your date, go home and write down what you heard. This will give you the black and white clues to who he is.
Ultimately, you want to wear what I refer to as the crystal blue colored glasses. This is when you see a man for the good and the not so good.
You’re then able to choose whether he’s right for you based on what you’ve seen and what he tells you, not on the pretty picture you’ve created in your mind.
Did you miss the Valentine’s Day event where I shared SECRETS for…
- Rediscovering your femininity men are so drawn to
- Knowing the Biggest Dating Mistake you could be making as an over 50’s woman that’s keeping you from the relationship you want with Mr. Right
- Plus the 3 biggest turn offs for men you might be doing and aren’t even aware of?
You can listen to it right now by clicking here: www.findaqualityman.com/findlove
I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments.
Until next time~
Believing in You!
Your Next Steps to Love after 50. . . .
💞 Feeling like you are on a merry-go-round of mismatched dates? Lets press pause and talk about how we can write a new love story for you. Click here to start our conversation. Tell me your story – I am here to listen and guide you towards meeting someone truly special.
If you are still gearing up for that step, I have plenty of insights and inspiration for you:
1. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for heartfelt dating wisdom and uplifting success stories from women who have been just where you are. They found love, and so can you. Click here to watch and learn.
2. Discover a new chapter in your dating life with my book, "The Winning Dating Formula." It is more than a book; it is your journey to love mapped out. And it is just a click away on Amazon. Click here and start attracting the love you deserve.
3. Join our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group to find camaraderie and connection. It is a warm and welcoming space to share your journey and receive support every step of the way. Click here to become part of our community.
4. On the lookout for a dating site that resonates with you? Browse through my personal selection of the best dating sites tailor-made for fabulous over 50s. Click here and say goodbye to guesswork.
Let these resources be your steppingstones to a love life filled with promise and joy. When you are ready, I am here to take that journey with you. Together, lets find your Mr. Right! 🌹
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