Dear Lisa-What Does It Take To Be Hot Over 50?
Dear Lisa,
I was on a casual first meeting with a man I met on an internet dating site. We got to talking and found there really wasn’t great interest from either of us. When this happens, I try being gracious just simply have a conversation with the guy. This man spent the night looking at all the younger women with long blond hair so I called his attention to a group of women on the other end who were 50+. He said they all looked like grandma’s (which we ARE) but it got me thinking…how do we look “hot” and comfortable too? How do we outwardly say, “we still got it” in a public place without neon lights? Janice
Janice,
Being “hot” starts inside you with stoking the fire to increase your inner and outer glow. Get in touch with your femininity along with all the wonderful qualities you bring to the dating table.
Next, get your outer glow burning; wearing clothes that both enhance your body and show off those beautiful womanly curves you were born with.
Most women over 50 aren’t into 5 inch heels…just try and find shoes that make you feel girly wearing them.
You won’t appeal to every man out there, nor will they all appeal to you as you found out on this date.
This man would not have asked you out if he wasn’t interested in being with a woman close to his age.
But when a date isn’t working…there’s no need to stay.
You can leave when you finish your drink or even sooner if it turns out he’s not a good guy.
As for other women, men will always look at them. As visual creatures, this gives them great pleasure.
To men, women are like fine works of art.
It doesn’t mean anything unless they act on it.
Being a grandma can be sexy to some men.
Just leave off the hairnets, clunky shoes, stockings to your ankles and bag dresses like your granny wore and you should be okay.
Dear Lisa,
I am on disability but don’t want men to know this about me yet. They are always asking questions about my divorce and how I have financial security. I feel like it’s none of their business.
I do not want to discuss my having epilepsy, which is why I lost my job and went on disability. I even had a good looking doctor ask me to marry him before my illness got worse – but he wanted children and I was too scared at the time.
I am now better, so I just say I am retired – but those questions are hard. I was also with a malpractice attorney while I had seizures and underwent brain surgery – unfortunately he died before we were engaged. They both saw worse than me!! I volunteer now helping others in a hospital. Thanks!! Nancy
Nancy,
When a man asks you questions that you don’t wish to answer, all you have to say is I feel uncomfortable answering these questions on our first date.
If we continue seeing each other, I’ll be happy to share this information with you.
Keep it simple and guide the conversation back to something that is fun.
If these are the types of questions you’re talking about on a first date, your dates are about exchanging resumes for potential marriage partners.
It’s far more fun when you both keep a first date light and fun.
The only goal of an initial meet and greet is one of seeing whether you’d like to go out again.
That’s it. So try dating to date (not to mate) men just to have fun.
You have nothing to lose but lots to gain if, over many dates with a man, he turns out to be a great guy you can have a relationship with.
What questions have you been asked on a first date?
Believing in You!
P.S. Whenever you are ready, here are four ways I can help you find love after 50
#1: Get a copy of my book The Winning Dating Formula on Amazon
Where I will walk you through a step-by-step breakdown of the exact tools and strategies you need for attracting the right man into your life — Click here
#2: Join the Finding Love after 50 Facebook group
It’s our Facebook community where you can connect with me and a community of women ready to support you on your journey for finding love after 50 — Click here
#3: Work with me 1-on-1 or in my Group Program
I would love to learn more about your dating journey, understand where you might be stuck, and give you a personalized step-by-step blueprint to attract the right man. And maybe even talk about how we can work together.
If you are interested in learning more about how I can help, you can Click here to answer a few quick questions and schedule a call.
#4: Subscribe to my YouTube Channel
Click here to explore my YouTube channel for valuable tips on dating and relationships after 50! Discover insights that will empower you to attract the right partner with confidence.
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I’m 52 and divorced (10 years, after a 17 year marriage and 4 kids). I am a religious person, so living with someone (or sex) before marriage is not an option. I find that most men don’t want to waste their time so they find a way to let me know that they would like to have a physical relationship (at some point). Some hint around by telling me that they lived with someone in the not-so-distant past. Others are more blunt and come right out and ask if I would be open to sex. I’ve been out with loads of men in the last 9 years, and this seems to be the trend. I don’t understand how the rules could have changed so much since I was in my 20s. Their justification is that they don’t want to get divorced again. I see it as an excuse to look for problems (that may or may not exist) so that they can avoid marriage (in which people are supposed to work out their problems). I had a relationsihp with a man for a while, but he wanted to live with me, to “try out” what it would be like to be married, but that’s not a lifestyle that suits me so we split up. Any ideas?
Hi Gail…the reason men want to have sex is because men need a physical connection to know if you are right for them. It’s how they fall in love. Men have sex for love, women have sex because they are in love. They are 2 polar opposites.
This sounds like its really an important core value for you so by all means, stick to your beliefs. It will be harder to find a man who feels the same way you do in a committed relationship. But, I’m sure there is someone out there who will feel the same way you do.
Instead of being on mainstream dating sites, you might want to try niche dating sites that have men with similar beliefs as you have. You can look in the dating sites tab above for some or go to 100 Best Dating Sites for more.
I wish you the best of luck on your journey.
Many hugs to you!