Dear Lisa…How Long Will It Take To Meet Mr. Right
Dear Lisa
I am getting plenty of views since I went to an online dating site, but the men that interest me have not contacted me. They have “liked me” or chose me as a “favorite” but not contacted me. Should I contact them first? I always thought it was best to let the man make the first move so to speak. Sherry
Sherry,
You did not mention the dating site you’re on, but most of the big ones like Match and E-Harmony have huge databases filled with men’s pictures.
Anyone on the site can favor and wink at you but unless a man is a paid member, he can’t write to you.
It is worth checking out Plenty of Fish and OK Cupid, free sites that allow all members to communicate with each other.
BTW….You can check out some of my favorite dating sites here: Lisa’s Favorite Dating Sites
I remember seeing lots of men who’d been on the paid sites posting profiles on the free sites as well.
I hear your frustration with not being contacted by the men you want to date.
If it helps, know that men feel the same as you do about not being able to connect with the women they’re interested in.
One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is to give men who are different than your usual type a chance to meet you.
When you go on that first date with him, instead of seeing a guy as a potential husband, think of him as a new and interesting person you want to get to know.
You can learn something about yourself and the man you ultimately want in your life from every man you meet.
You asked about who should contact who first.
I always suggest you let men make the first contact.
When I was dating, I found that if I wrote a guy, he would often write back but it would usually fizzle after that.
Men like being the ones pursuing you and that’s why its important to favor men you are interested in.
This way he know’s its safe to write you without a fear of being rejected.
Just keep at it.
Take breaks when you need to.
And put yourself on other dating sites that might have men you’re interested in cause you never know where you’ll find the one who might be the right guy for you.
BTW….what you put in your profile is so important for attracting the right man. I teach everything you need to know in this training: Creating Your Irresistible Profile
Lisa, Wow! What a difference. Before we worked together I was getting a handful of messages a day, but after we polished my profile the response was, well, overwhelming. More than 200 messages in the first week! I had to hide one of the two profiles just to slow it down to a level I could keep up with… and the men who I am meeting are such a better fit for me. The whole process… from our first phone call to my most recent date… has been so much fun. Thank you. 2017 is going to be amazing! Julie, California
Dear Lisa,
I’ve dated around 8 men over the past 3 months. Most have been first dates only. I’m finding online dating to be frustrating. How long does it take to meet Mr. Right? Jenn
Jenn,
The biggest problem with online dating is a huge expectation that you’ll meet the perfect guy for you right out of the box.
This rarely happens. (In fact it can take dating 30-40 men before you meet your Mr. Right.)
Online dating is one-dimensional. You can’t tell who someone really is from just a picture and a profile.
You want to speak with a man then meet and hang out with him.
If you saw Katie Couric talking about my Huffington Post article with Patty Stanger, you’d have heard Patty say that the biggest problem with online dating is the huge wish list someone has to live up to in order to date you.
If they don’t have one thing on the list… You say BYE-BYE.
No one is perfect. The key is to find someone you feel good around who doesn’t have your Deal Breakers and who shares your values.
If you click with a man in some way give him a chance.
You don’t have to figure out if he’s perfect on date #1.
It can take lots of dates with lots of men to find a good man for you.
Be patient, stay focused on your dream and keep taking action that can make your dream of attracting and keeping the perfect man for you come true!
“Lisa…thank you for the great insight into myself and men. I met a wonderful man in August on Match, and we are MADLY in LOVE!!!!! He is perfect for me. He appreciates me as a woman and all of my girly girlness, which is funny considering how I had no clue what that even meant before working with you! Thank you so much. Lots of love.” -Vi
Would love to hear what challenges you’re facing with finding love Online or in the real world.
Until next time~
Believing in You!
Your Next Steps to Love after 50. . . .
💞 Feeling like you are on a merry-go-round of mismatched dates? Lets press pause and talk about how we can write a new love story for you. Click here to start our conversation. Tell me your story – I am here to listen and guide you towards meeting someone truly special.
If you are still gearing up for that step, I have plenty of insights and inspiration for you:
1. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for heartfelt dating wisdom and uplifting success stories from women who have been just where you are. They found love, and so can you. Click here to watch and learn.
2. Discover a new chapter in your dating life with my book, "The Winning Dating Formula." It is more than a book; it is your journey to love mapped out. And it is just a click away on Amazon. Click here and start attracting the love you deserve.
3. Join our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group to find camaraderie and connection. It is a warm and welcoming space to share your journey and receive support every step of the way. Click here to become part of our community.
4. On the lookout for a dating site that resonates with you? Browse through my personal selection of the best dating sites tailor-made for fabulous over 50s. Click here and say goodbye to guesswork.
Let these resources be your steppingstones to a love life filled with promise and joy. When you are ready, I am here to take that journey with you. Together, lets find your Mr. Right! 🌹
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