Dear Lisa…I Couldn’t Believe What He Did To Me!
Dear Lisa,
I’d love to know how to approach a guy in real life. Is there a way to tell if he’s available and is it okay for a woman to ask a man out? Thanks, Sara
Sara,
As a woman, your main job in the dating world is to signal to a single man when you’re interested in him.
It’s his job to ask you out.
Men are really scared of being rejected by women, so it’s going to take some encouragement on your part to let him know he can safely approach you.
Here’s are 4 different ways to do it…
1. Easiest to do: Smile at him and hold eye contact for 5 seconds. If he’s interested, he’ll approach.
2. Next easiest option: Ask him a question.
For example, if you’re at Home Depot, hold up 2 tools then ask the man down the aisle if he could help you figure out which one he’d recommend. (Remember: men love to come to the aid of a damsel in distress.)
Not sure about the best wine at a wine bar? Ask the guy sitting near you for his opinion.
Questions are a great way to naturally get a conversation going!
3. Takes some nerve and probably encouragement from a friend to do: Go up to a guy and say, “Hi, My name is Sara. I’d love if you’d come over and say hi to me and my friend.”
4. Hardest to do but there’s no doubt in his mind you’re interested: Go up to a man and say, “Hi I’m Sara….if you’re single and interested in getting to know me better, here’s my number… I’d love to go out with you if you ask me.” Wink, smile, then walk away.
Leading a guy is going to take you out of your comfort zone, but sometimes that’s what you may have to do to make your dreams come true.
Dear Lisa,
Last week I met a guy for lunch. We had a lovely time. He walked me to my car and as we are getting ready to say goodbye, he goes to hug me but instead proceeds to stick his tongue down my throat. I was mortified. We were in an area where I know people. It was really embarrassing and I couldn’t believe he did that in such a public place.
I gotta ask you if there any men out there open to a relationship or do they just want sex and major French kissing on the first date? Dana
Dana,
The good news is: this man was attracted to you and showed you with his kiss.
Did he overstep a boundary giving you such a big kiss in such a public place?
Yes, it sounds like he overstepped your boundary.
Most men will try and get away with what they can. They will push you to see where your limit is.
The way to handle this is to decide what you are willing to do on a first date when it comes to kissing, especially if you are really attracted to a man.
If you’d been attracted to him chances are a slow lingering kiss my have felt great and you might have let him do that if it felt good to you.
But, when something doesn’t feel good to you – and yet you like the guy – all you have to do is gently say, “I appreciate you wanting to kiss me but this feels uncomfortable for me right now. Would it be okay if we save it for a time when we know each other better?”
Simple, sweet and if there is something there you won’t have made him feel judged for showing you he liked you.
Now, if you don’t like him just let him know you are uncomfortable with what he’s doing.
I’d love to know if there are topics you’d like to read about in these blogs. Just hit reply to this email and let me know what they are. I want to make sure I’m covering the dating areas you’re most interested in knowing more about.
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Until next time~
Believing in You!
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Too funny,,I had a similar incident with a kiss,,,but on a 3rd date. I felt like Lion King had slobbered all his saliva over my face practically taking every bit of make-up off.
If there was going to be a 4th date I knew I had to do something quick.
I put my hands of his face gently and whispered in his ears, stay still, do nothing,then
I kissed him ever so gently on the lips,the left side the right side the upper lip, the lower lip
and I think I sent him to the Moon and back,,,His response was “Wow”
So less is more,,,You can teach an old dog,,,,Oh the relationship lasted 2years but I’m sure
he will no longer take make-up off again,,lol
Alicia
Great story Alicia! You led him in a very feminine way to understand the Art of Kissing without directly telling him you weren’t too interested in a facial cleanse.
That’s the key to helping a man understand what it is you want. Thanks for sharing this with all of us!
You have had really good advise to them. I like it so much and I can learn lots from these.
You are so welcome Sorphea. Glad these are so helpful to you.