Are You Showing Up As An Over 50’s Drama Queen?

I can’t tell you the number of times I used to see the words: No Drama Queens Wanted in a man’s profile.

And I used to wonder what the heck they were even talking about.

So I started asking men to explain what a Drama Queen was to them and I found 3 themes continually showing up that we’re going to talk about today.

Theme #1 – 3 on a date versus 2

When a relationship ends, I know you want to get out there and date to take the edge off of the emotional pain you’re feeling.

But it’s probably one of the worst things you can do for your love life.

Why?

Because you go on a date and end up talking with a new man about your ex – the good, the bad and the ugly looking for sympathy and empathy from someone you hope will understand where you’re at and what you’re going through.

When you do this, you have THREE not TWO PEEPS sitting together on the date; one is invisible but he takes up a lot of space energetically at the table.

You may be a great catch but when you’re sitting on a first date with a new man talking about how awful your ex was . . . well a man starts thinking you’re a drama queen who doesn’t have her sh*t together.

S after a breakup, take some time to heal before you date.

Get to know yourself again.

Chances are you’ve bent like a pretzel for years to accommodate so many of your ex’s needs while forgetting your own.

Pamper yourself and give yourself time to process your grief.

Go out with friends, get a manicure or pedicure, go to a new restaurant you’ve wanted to try or take a fun class.

Buy a pretty journal and write your thoughts in it. I love journaling and have done it daily for years.

You’ll find if you consistently write, you can discover a lot about you and the men you want to date.

This phase can feel really hard as you get used to being by yourself again, but it’s a great time for getting to know the real you that’s probably been hidden for a while.

Loving yourself totally and completely again sends vibes into the world of a happy, confident and openhearted woman.

This is the woman men are looking to share their life with.

Theme #2 – Your confidence is in the toilet and you’re looking for a man to boost it up again

Ending a relationship can be brutal.

Ex’s can say things that make you doubt yourself and cause you to forget just how AWESOME you really are.

So you go looking for a man who will help you get it back.

The reason this doesn’t work is because The Universe can only bring you what you want based on where you are in our life in that moment.

If you’re feeling like you aren’t enough, guess who shows up?

A man who feels the same as you do about himself.

Now how are you a drama queen here?

When you’re looking for someone to fill something in you, you can come across as needy.

Men sense this and back off because they, just like you want someone with confidence to come to the dating table.

What can you do to feel good again?

My clients make lists of what they love about themselves, what they like doing or are good at, what their best personality qualities are and what they’re most passionate about.

It’s a huge eye opener to them and helps them realize again what an amazing woman they really are.

It also helps them get their dating mojo back, and it’s this confident mojo that men are so unbelievably attracted to in you.

Theme #3 – Showing up as Debbie Downer on a date

You’re having a bad day and you can’t seem to shake it off yet you still go on a date.

Not a good idea cause you’re probably giving off a vibe that’s negative.

And you’re leaving a man with the impression you are not a happy person to be around. (Yes, it might be a momentary bad day but he has no way of knowing that)

If you’re having a bad day, reschedule the date cause meeting a man for the first time isn’t the time to process your troubles.

Men like to date women who give off a happy and fun vibe. (just like you want a man to show up as happy and fun)

How do you get that happy vibe?

Well, you want to show up smiling. Men love women’s smiles.

And you want to flirt.

When you think about it, how long has it been since you flirted?

Probably quite a while, but it’s the best tool you have for attracting a good man.

Now this might mean getting comfortable with feeling uncomfortable because flirting again in your 50’s can feel strange.

But it’s your main signal for letting a man know you’re interested in him.

On a date you want to smile, laugh and lightly touch his arm from time to time.

It does take some practice but after a while you’ll find it’s really a lot of fun!

I’d love to hear your thoughts about Drama Queens, Debbie Downer and having fun on a date. Tell me what you think in the comments below.

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