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Dear Lisa,
I am having a really hard time with men not being truthful with me. I went out with a man two times and he seemed so nice but then after Googling him, I found he had 2 DWI’s about 10 years ago. I dumped him immediately for not being truthful with me. Do you think there any good men out there for me?
Susan
Dear Susan,
If you were my client, the first thing I’d ask you is what color glasses do you view the world through?
Are they rose where everything with a man seems perfect?
Are they grey/brown where every man is suspect until he proves himself innocent or…
Are they crystal blue where you give a man a chance over time to see what he’s really about?
I have a feeling you are wearing the grey/brown pair.
The first couple of dates with a new man are about fun and getting to know someone new and interesting you might like to date.
Think about a new friend you are getting to know, usually you won’t spill your life history to that person in the first few times you get together. The same goes for a new man.
Over time, when he felt safe sharing his past with you, it’s likely he’d have told you about the 2 DWI’s. Putting this in perspective….they happened 10 years ago. We all make mistakes.
Let me ask you this question…. if he had shared this information with you on date one or two, would you have gone out with him again? Probably not…it’s “Too Much Information” for the getting to know each other phase.
But, if you’d given him a chance, gotten to know him and found his personality quite endearing…and then he shared his past…would you have continued the relationship? Probably.
If it happened in the past and doesn’t affect the present….then just leave it in the past until you’ve established the relationship.
Do be careful of wearing those grey brown glasses all the time where every man is guilty of something unless proven otherwise. You will miss a lot of Quality Men this way!
Would you love to have a great man to share life with? Yet, are you missing who they are on a daily basis because you just don’t have the tools and skills to truly identify them especially online? I can help you with this and so much more when it comes to navigating dating after 50.
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Dear Lisa,
I met this man who is really nice but he doesn’t like to eat in restaurants. He thinks people are staring at him. We’ve had a couple of dates and every time we go out, he sits and drinks water or a glass of wine while I eat. It feels so awkward. I really like him but dining out is so important to me. What do I do?
Ruthie
Ruthie,
If you like him enough to put up with this quirk as long as the relationship lasts…then continue dating him and just get comfortable with being the only one eating at the table.
But…. if dining out is important to you, even though he is nice, it might be wise to find a man who enjoys this activity too. It’s always nice to have someone in your life who can share the interests and activities that are most important to you.
Dear Lisa,
Why is it that so many men online just seem to have “No Money?” I always led a pretty good lifestyle and would love to find a man who does too but they just don’t seem to be out there. Any suggestions on how to find a man with some good money in his wallet?
Lori
Lori,
I hear you…. it’s a common issue for many women our age. Most men even if they did lead a good lifestyle in the past… have not totally recovered from dividing their 401K’s as part of their divorce or paying for their kid’s college education.
The thing is, you can’t always judge how good a man will be for you based on the money he has. Great men are out there who will do anything for you but may not be able to afford luxury.
If you really liked a man who had less then you, would you be willing to pay for the fine dining you desired? Or split checks? It’s ok to do either one.
But…. if this doesn’t work for you, you might want to look for “niche online dating sites” that cater to finding millionaire men.
There are quite a few out there and you just might find what you’re looking for on one of them.
Until next time…
Believing in You!
P.S. Whenever you are ready, here are four ways I can help you find love after 50
#1: Get a copy of my book The Winning Dating Formula on Amazon
Where I will walk you through a step-by-step breakdown of the exact tools and strategies you need for attracting the right man into your life — Click here
#2: Join the Finding Love after 50 Facebook group
It’s our Facebook community where you can connect with me and a community of women ready to support you on your journey for finding love after 50 — Click here
#3: Work with me 1-on-1 or in my Group Program
I would love to learn more about your dating journey, understand where you might be stuck, and give you a personalized step-by-step blueprint to attract the right man. And maybe even talk about how we can work together.
If you are interested in learning more about how I can help, you can Click here to answer a few quick questions and schedule a call.
#4: Subscribe to my YouTube Channel
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I would thinks the man who doesn’t like to eat in restaurants is having signs of paranoia and I would run for the hills. He is likely to start blaming you for things you didn’t do!
I just wanted to pass on a comment to you regarding your last newsletter.
The woman who wrote in about the man who wouldn’t eat in front of her.
Maybe he had some medical issues, such as Crohn’s Disease or other GI tract illnesses that made it difficult for him to eat, but it was too early in their relationship to discuss with her.
Just an idea….
Otherwise it is a good publication.
Doug