Lisa,
I found this to be a very interesting article from the male standpoint as well. I too have been wondering what is the proper etiquette for online dating. I have been having very long, interesting, and meaningful conversations with a very captivating lady online. I was not sure what the next step ought to be without making her feel uncomfortable or that I was trying to rush things along. The dating site we are on has an “Online/Instant Chat” available and we use it for 1-2 hours per evening. You have provided some much needed insight and it is greatly appreciated.
Spot on with this write-up, I seriously feel this amazing site needs far
more attention. I’ll probably be returning to see more, thanks for the information!
December 5, 2012 at 11:23 pm
berick
Two thoughts.
1. Waiting for others to write can be very frustrating if you’re not in the top 5% (or some %) of photo-attractives (men or women). There are so many profiles you may end up waiting a very long time.
2. Advising women to wait for men to write first, and advising women to move on if he isn’t the one to make the second date, may be practical for most people’s habits, but I hope you realize it’s part of traditional sexist, genderist role playing.
December 6, 2012 at 9:17 am
Lisa
Berick
Thank you for your comments. I so appreciate them. I’d like to take a moment and address each one.
Yes, you are right…if you are not photographic, the online dating process is harder. To solve this, head to a makeup counter and a hair stylist for some great tips on enhancing your best features. Make an appointment with a professional photographer and let them light you in a way that flatters you. It will make a big difference.
I do advise women to let men contact them but….you can contact men. The thing is, it often fizzles quickly.
Men need to feel that initial attraction to you. And men over 50….who grew up with Ward Cleaver as a role model where the man took care of the woman and was head of the house…. like taking the initiative in the dating process unless they are a beta male.
I’m not saying this is right but…if you want to get somewhere with most men over 50, you need to cultivate your best feminine side and let it come out to play with his masculinity. It can be fun to flirt again.
If it feels too retro 1950’s…remember that’s when most boomers were born… it might be fun to try a younger guy who’d be more open to being contacted by a woman.
November 26, 2012 at 5:33 pm
Donna Hubbs
I have changed my profile, added another picture as suggested, but not once has a guy ever contacted me first in the last year. I have tried OurTime, Match, Christian Mingle and EHarmoney. Now I am on a free site. It seems the same guys are on this site as were on the sites I had been paying for. I’m thinking that its the area I live in. I’m not going to take it as a personal rejection by no means. But it does get really frustrating to say the least.
November 27, 2012 at 9:17 am
Lisa
Hi Donna
So proud of your attitude. Keep at it and if you are willing….expand your parameters for meeting a man to within 2 hours of your home. I have a friend who met a man online who lived 2 hours away from her. They met up on weekends and over time this lead to marriage. 2 hours is workable…much further creates more complications. Keep the great work up and keep us posted on how the 2 hours works for you.
November 26, 2012 at 12:46 pm
Tina
Thanks for this Lisa….
I agree with all of it and will make you that promise not to call him if he doesn’t contact me for a second date….
My challenge is….. If I don’t make the first contact on the dating site…. no one contacts ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I currently have a profile on POF. Please have a look if you have the time…. and tell me how to improve my profiles to get responses…… My Christian Mingle profile is brand new… they are just posting the pics now…….
I so appreciate your feedback….
Christine (Tina)
November 26, 2012 at 3:44 pm
Lisa
Tina
Thanks for your comment. I’m so sorry I can’t personally get back to you about your profile but watch in the future for columns about creating a great profile that can attract the types of men you want.
Thank you for the valuable tips regarding online dating. It has been challenging, but I’m forging ahead! I am so grateful for your advice during our wonderful phone conversation and it is really helped me a great deal.
I am using all of your tips to my advantage and my dating encounters are better than I ever expected. I remember that frogs are good too! They keep my confidence level high and they are great practice as I seek my happily ever after 50 again.
Take care.
November 26, 2012 at 3:42 pm
Lisa
Hi Jackie
So glad dating has become easier and fun for you. I look forward to hearing more about the results you keep getting with the tools we spoke about. Keep me posted!
Lisa
November 26, 2012 at 9:37 am
LInda
Hi Lisa,
Thank-you for the great specific on line tips..
Question Clarification? Tip # 2. Emails. Did you mean Keep it to 3-5? what? ? ?
Keep it to 3-5 back and forth = one email exchsnge or did you mean keep it to 3-5 lines of text? The sentence was missing the noun.
Thanks Lisa,
Happy Monday,
Linda
November 26, 2012 at 9:39 am
Lisa
Hi Linda
3-5 should be the maximum each of you writes before heading to the phone. Glad you enjoyed the post.
Lisa
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August 3, 2014 at 10:33 am
Kate
I agree that you should wait for him to initiate the second date.
If there is a spark, he will call! If he's waiting for you to call, what does that say about him??
I know what year it is but, men and women are still different. He needs to 'chase' and you need to be chased otherwise…
Just sayin!!!
April 23, 2013 at 9:42 am
David
Lisa,
I found this to be a very interesting article from the male standpoint as well. I too have been wondering what is the proper etiquette for online dating. I have been having very long, interesting, and meaningful conversations with a very captivating lady online. I was not sure what the next step ought to be without making her feel uncomfortable or that I was trying to rush things along. The dating site we are on has an “Online/Instant Chat” available and we use it for 1-2 hours per evening. You have provided some much needed insight and it is greatly appreciated.
February 1, 2013 at 4:48 pm
Jamey
Spot on with this write-up, I seriously feel this amazing site needs far
more attention. I’ll probably be returning to see more, thanks for the information!
December 5, 2012 at 11:23 pm
berick
Two thoughts.
1. Waiting for others to write can be very frustrating if you’re not in the top 5% (or some %) of photo-attractives (men or women). There are so many profiles you may end up waiting a very long time.
2. Advising women to wait for men to write first, and advising women to move on if he isn’t the one to make the second date, may be practical for most people’s habits, but I hope you realize it’s part of traditional sexist, genderist role playing.
December 6, 2012 at 9:17 am
Lisa
Berick
Thank you for your comments. I so appreciate them. I’d like to take a moment and address each one.
Yes, you are right…if you are not photographic, the online dating process is harder. To solve this, head to a makeup counter and a hair stylist for some great tips on enhancing your best features. Make an appointment with a professional photographer and let them light you in a way that flatters you. It will make a big difference.
I do advise women to let men contact them but….you can contact men. The thing is, it often fizzles quickly.
Men need to feel that initial attraction to you. And men over 50….who grew up with Ward Cleaver as a role model where the man took care of the woman and was head of the house…. like taking the initiative in the dating process unless they are a beta male.
I’m not saying this is right but…if you want to get somewhere with most men over 50, you need to cultivate your best feminine side and let it come out to play with his masculinity. It can be fun to flirt again.
If it feels too retro 1950’s…remember that’s when most boomers were born… it might be fun to try a younger guy who’d be more open to being contacted by a woman.
November 26, 2012 at 5:33 pm
Donna Hubbs
I have changed my profile, added another picture as suggested, but not once has a guy ever contacted me first in the last year. I have tried OurTime, Match, Christian Mingle and EHarmoney. Now I am on a free site. It seems the same guys are on this site as were on the sites I had been paying for. I’m thinking that its the area I live in. I’m not going to take it as a personal rejection by no means. But it does get really frustrating to say the least.
November 27, 2012 at 9:17 am
Lisa
Hi Donna
So proud of your attitude. Keep at it and if you are willing….expand your parameters for meeting a man to within 2 hours of your home. I have a friend who met a man online who lived 2 hours away from her. They met up on weekends and over time this lead to marriage. 2 hours is workable…much further creates more complications. Keep the great work up and keep us posted on how the 2 hours works for you.
November 26, 2012 at 12:46 pm
Tina
Thanks for this Lisa….
I agree with all of it and will make you that promise not to call him if he doesn’t contact me for a second date….
My challenge is….. If I don’t make the first contact on the dating site…. no one contacts ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I currently have a profile on POF. Please have a look if you have the time…. and tell me how to improve my profiles to get responses…… My Christian Mingle profile is brand new… they are just posting the pics now…….
I so appreciate your feedback….
Christine (Tina)
November 26, 2012 at 3:44 pm
Lisa
Tina
Thanks for your comment. I’m so sorry I can’t personally get back to you about your profile but watch in the future for columns about creating a great profile that can attract the types of men you want.
Lisa
November 26, 2012 at 12:44 pm
Jackie
Lisa,
Thank you for the valuable tips regarding online dating. It has been challenging, but I’m forging ahead! I am so grateful for your advice during our wonderful phone conversation and it is really helped me a great deal.
I am using all of your tips to my advantage and my dating encounters are better than I ever expected. I remember that frogs are good too! They keep my confidence level high and they are great practice as I seek my happily ever after 50 again.
Take care.
November 26, 2012 at 3:42 pm
Lisa
Hi Jackie
So glad dating has become easier and fun for you. I look forward to hearing more about the results you keep getting with the tools we spoke about. Keep me posted!
Lisa
November 26, 2012 at 9:37 am
LInda
Hi Lisa,
Thank-you for the great specific on line tips..
Question Clarification? Tip # 2. Emails. Did you mean Keep it to 3-5? what? ? ?
Keep it to 3-5 back and forth = one email exchsnge or did you mean keep it to 3-5 lines of text? The sentence was missing the noun.
Thanks Lisa,
Happy Monday,
Linda
November 26, 2012 at 9:39 am
Lisa
Hi Linda
3-5 should be the maximum each of you writes before heading to the phone. Glad you enjoyed the post.
Lisa