Hi Lisa. I agree with what you said about filling the empty hole. I was in a relationship for 3 years. It was on & off. Good & bad. Finally it ended. I thought what did I do wrong? It took me over year to figure it out. I was depressed, didn’t date, thought it was my fault the relationship didn’t work. Finally I had enough of self pity. I spent more time with family & my grandson & realized I am loved & I don’t need a man to feel that. I joined a gym. I feel so much better about myself. Then it came to me that it was him not me. He was the liar & cheater but I was so blind at the time I didn’t see it. I suspected. But now it is so clear. A learning experience. I now know what to look for in future relationships. I enjoy your posts very much. D
June 18, 2013 at 2:22 am
noquay
In my marriage, I never felt the need to stop doing what I loved in order to please my husband. We had a lot of together time and a lot of separate time but I understand this is rare. I could tell that I was in a bad relationship later on when there was pressure to stop being me. I eventually bailed. What saddens me is the unequal playing field amongst older men and women. As long as a man keeps himself reasonably together, he will find another fast, generally a woman at least as successful as he if not more so and in great shape. Older women are expected to be successful, often morph ourselves into something we are not, are expected to look exceptional for our age, and often expected to settle. Once the marriage/relationship breaks up, you are thrust into an unwinnable situation.
June 17, 2013 at 3:44 pm
Lisa
You are so welcome Barbara.
June 17, 2013 at 3:41 pm
Barbara
As usual, great advise, Lisa!!! You are helping so many women!!! God bless you!
June 22, 2013 at 2:11 pm
D
Hi Lisa. I agree with what you said about filling the empty hole. I was in a relationship for 3 years. It was on & off. Good & bad. Finally it ended. I thought what did I do wrong? It took me over year to figure it out. I was depressed, didn’t date, thought it was my fault the relationship didn’t work. Finally I had enough of self pity. I spent more time with family & my grandson & realized I am loved & I don’t need a man to feel that. I joined a gym. I feel so much better about myself. Then it came to me that it was him not me. He was the liar & cheater but I was so blind at the time I didn’t see it. I suspected. But now it is so clear. A learning experience. I now know what to look for in future relationships. I enjoy your posts very much. D
June 18, 2013 at 2:22 am
noquay
In my marriage, I never felt the need to stop doing what I loved in order to please my husband. We had a lot of together time and a lot of separate time but I understand this is rare. I could tell that I was in a bad relationship later on when there was pressure to stop being me. I eventually bailed. What saddens me is the unequal playing field amongst older men and women. As long as a man keeps himself reasonably together, he will find another fast, generally a woman at least as successful as he if not more so and in great shape. Older women are expected to be successful, often morph ourselves into something we are not, are expected to look exceptional for our age, and often expected to settle. Once the marriage/relationship breaks up, you are thrust into an unwinnable situation.
June 17, 2013 at 3:44 pm
Lisa
You are so welcome Barbara.
June 17, 2013 at 3:41 pm
Barbara
As usual, great advise, Lisa!!! You are helping so many women!!! God bless you!