Another possibility with Dee’s encounter with this guy (not knowing the context of their meeting) is that he is in a relationship already. Lotsa guys will flirt or chat even if “taken”. I’ve learned the hard way that until you are directly asked out, it means absolutely nothing. The “lonely” comment may just have been conversation out of politeness.
May 12, 2015 at 5:23 pm
Val
That’s a very strong possibility, Noquay! You are so right … until they ask us out, it’s just a fantasy relationship. We can’t tell if there’s truly a mutual spark or connection until we meet in person. Unfortunately, some women tend to get all excited about these cyber non-relationships that sometimes lead nowhere for whatever reason.
Also, some men are so used to utilizing the Internet to gain information about various topics that they think nothing of asking strange questions. They see every encounter online as a chance to find out some “data”. Or, relating to your comment, he could have wondered if she was lonely enough to get involved with a man who was already taken.
May 11, 2015 at 1:37 pm
Val
Lisa, I think overall your advice is excellent!
However, regarding your reply to Dee, I think that responding with “I’m never lonely when I’m on a fun date with a great guy like you” is showing far too much interest and implicitly telling him what to do — i.e., ask her out.
I also think that his question may be a way of finding out if she is “lonely” enough to engage in intimate relations with him straight away.
Another possibility is that he is extremely needy (“lonely”) and would drive her crazy with his constant demands on her time!
When an emotionally mature man with sufficient self-esteem wants someone, he goes for it and doesn’t need encouragement. This guy sounds like a complete time-waster and Dee should actually be grateful that he disappeared.
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May 12, 2015 at 4:51 pm
Noquay
Another possibility with Dee’s encounter with this guy (not knowing the context of their meeting) is that he is in a relationship already. Lotsa guys will flirt or chat even if “taken”. I’ve learned the hard way that until you are directly asked out, it means absolutely nothing. The “lonely” comment may just have been conversation out of politeness.
May 12, 2015 at 5:23 pm
Val
That’s a very strong possibility, Noquay! You are so right … until they ask us out, it’s just a fantasy relationship. We can’t tell if there’s truly a mutual spark or connection until we meet in person. Unfortunately, some women tend to get all excited about these cyber non-relationships that sometimes lead nowhere for whatever reason.
Also, some men are so used to utilizing the Internet to gain information about various topics that they think nothing of asking strange questions. They see every encounter online as a chance to find out some “data”. Or, relating to your comment, he could have wondered if she was lonely enough to get involved with a man who was already taken.
May 11, 2015 at 1:37 pm
Val
Lisa, I think overall your advice is excellent!
However, regarding your reply to Dee, I think that responding with “I’m never lonely when I’m on a fun date with a great guy like you” is showing far too much interest and implicitly telling him what to do — i.e., ask her out.
I also think that his question may be a way of finding out if she is “lonely” enough to engage in intimate relations with him straight away.
Another possibility is that he is extremely needy (“lonely”) and would drive her crazy with his constant demands on her time!
When an emotionally mature man with sufficient self-esteem wants someone, he goes for it and doesn’t need encouragement. This guy sounds like a complete time-waster and Dee should actually be grateful that he disappeared.