Why ‘Dear Jane’ Texts are so hurtful and what to do if you get one!
Technology has made life easier in so many ways.
Whatever you need, can be taken care of in minutes making it a quick and efficient way to deal with life.
Unfortunately, technology has a downside and that is texting has become the modern way of ending relationships in the 21st century.
It’s the new Dear John/ Dear Jane for ending the connection with someone you’ve been dating.
Instead of a letter, it’s now done with a text.
I know because it happened to me when I was dating.
I met a man named Matt online.
He and I really hit it off.
It’s embarrassing to admit but he was the first guy I ever dated where my knees nearly buckled when I’d see him…he was one gorgeous hunk to look at.
Our dating relationship was easy and fun.
We could talk for hours about anything and everything.
He was one of those guys that knew when something was wrong just from hearing the sound of your voice.
That was a huge check on my ‘What I’d like in a man checklist.’
We were into a relationship when I had to travel to California for a conference.
During the week apart, we kept in touch with long conversations on the phone.
Two days before I was heading home, he told me how much he missed me and how he couldn’t wait until I got home.
So imagine my surprise when I arrived home and received this text:
“Hi, Lisa- I’ve enjoyed our time together but I feel we got too close too fast. I really like you but I need some space. I’ll call you in a few weeks. Matt”
I was stunned and I was pissed.
I had no clue why he was blowing me off when only days earlier, he had professed such care and concern for my well being.
If we had only dated once or twice, I would have understood.
But we were supposedly in a relationship and he ended it in the most impersonal way possible.
I remember feeling so hurt.
Truthfully it was emotionally devastating because I had no idea why this had happened.
I texted him hoping he would give me an answer to my question of why he ended our relationship.
He didn’t answer and he never called again.
Sadly, texting has become the new way to break up.
For the person who wants to split, it’s easy and drama free.
Not having to answer the BIG question of Why?
No seeing or hearing how the breakup may have hurt someone’s feelings.
Just a quick goodbye and the relationship is done.
For the person on the receiving end, it’s tough because there’s no closure.
If this happens to you, the best thing you can do is close the book on this chapter of your dating life.
Don’t stalk him on Facebook. (I did and found out an old girlfriend had come back into his life. I now had the answer but it didn’t make it easier.)
Take some time to heal
Don’t sit around waiting for him to call. You want a man in your life who respects you enough to do the honorable thing.
When you’re ready, get back out into the dating world and look for someone who’s a better fit for you.
As hard as it is to get a Dear Jane text, keep in mind that when one door closes a much better one can open.
I know it opened for me and I know it can for you too!
Your Coaching Program is PRICELESS!
Lisa, the valuable insight you shared has opened my eyes to staying empowered dating at this time in my life. From your vast knowledge, I learned about “me” and why my relationships failed. Each day reminding myself how to connect to the right man making him my “hero” for a long-lasting relationship. I am so thankful I worked with you. What you & your coaching program has done for me is priceless. Thank you! Christine, North Carolina
Believing in You!
P.S. Whenever you are ready, here are four ways I can help you find love after 50
#1: Get a copy of my book The Winning Dating Formula on Amazon
Where I will walk you through a step-by-step breakdown of the exact tools and strategies you need for attracting the right man into your life — Click here
#2: Join the Finding Love after 50 Facebook group
It’s our Facebook community where you can connect with me and a community of women ready to support you on your journey for finding love after 50 — Click here
#3: Work with me 1-on-1 or in my Group Program
I would love to learn more about your dating journey, understand where you might be stuck, and give you a personalized step-by-step blueprint to attract the right man. And maybe even talk about how we can work together.
If you are interested in learning more about how I can help, you can Click here to answer a few quick questions and schedule a call.
#4: Subscribe to my YouTube Channel
Click here to explore my YouTube channel for valuable tips on dating and relationships after 50! Discover insights that will empower you to attract the right partner with confidence.
Copyright© 2024 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved.
Dear Lisa,
You hit this one out of the park with your suggestion. Wisdom (after many times doing it the other way, that is chasing for an answer/explanation) has taught me, there is always a reason for a breakup and it’s usually not me. My advice, love yourself. You’ll attract what your heart needs.
So nice hearing from you Paula. Love your words of wisdom. Hope you are doing well. Big Hugs~