Who Are The 3 Types of Men Out There To Date?
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As a little girl, how many times did you dream about your perfect man finding you?
You pictured him coming into your life, sweeping you off your feet with his charms and good looks.
And with his money, he’d treat you like royalty giving you everything your heart desired.
You imagined the two of you living happily ever after.
Now, let’s move forward to today…
As an adult, I’d bet this is still the man you’re looking for.
He is out there. He’s what I call the Type A Quality Man.
He’s very driven and focused.
His number one priority in life is usually his business and making money… It’s not his mate.
Yet he will wine and dine you to your hearts content because his idea of love is paying to fix your problems.
But he’s not the one who’ll let you cry on his shoulder when something is bothering you.
In fact, once he’s paid to make it better for you, he’ll think his job is done.
And he’ll head back to his mistress – work – leaving you alone to take care of the emotional side his money can’t buy.
A more balanced man is the Type B Quality Man who personally wants to do anything he can for you.
His mission in a relationship is to protect and take care of you himself and he will do whatever it takes to make this happen.
A Type B Quality Man is financially self-sufficient.
Now, that doesn’t mean you’ll feast on fine dining every night, but he can hold his own financially when you go out on dates.
This man lives a more balanced life.
He has enough money to be comfortable according to his standards.
Plus, he makes the time to be present in his life whether it’s in business, a relationship with you or time with his kids and grandchildren.
He’s the one who’ll be there to wipe your tears when you’re sad and will share your joys when you’re happy.
Then you have the Type C Man.
He has come out of his divorce financially or emotionally devastated.
He might be heading into bankruptcy or he’s lost his job.
Yet you’ll find him out there dating.
There are a lot of men like this everywhere who appear like great men on the outside but have acute financial or emotional issues going on inside their lives.
I also call him the “Project Man.”
At one time, he may have been a Quality Man.
But, today, his burdens will become your problems and are likely to overwhelm your relationship creating a tremendous amount of dependence on you.
When determining the type of man you’d like to date, you’ll fare better emotionally and financially with the Type A and Type B Quality Men I’ve described.
The Type C Man doesn’t have enough to offer you, which is why I’ve disqualified him from the “Quality Man” category.
So many women desire only Type A Men, using money and profession as the defining characteristics for a “Quality Man.”
They won’t even consider the qualities a Type B Man would offer.
Who do you want in your life?
Is it the Type A Quality Man who can take you on a 5 star vacation but may not be there emotionally when you need him?
Or can you be open to the Type B Man who wines and dines you on a smaller scale and is there for you on an emotional level?
Or is your goal one of just having a man in your life so you settle for the Project Man who keeps you busy with his emotional and financial difficulties?
Hope you’ll share your thoughts with us about who you think the best man is for you and why.
Until next time~
Believing in You!
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Whoops, forgot type D, the playa which occurs in all socioeconomic levels. Like type C, he is not a quality man. I think what really needs to happen is that both parties need to be at similar economic, lifestyle, and intellectual levels and obviously share core values.
Great point about Type D. And you are right about sharing core values and compatibility in the other areas you mentioned. Thank you for your insights.
Oooh Lisa – good article… however with large flashing yellows about making stereotypes in the background.
Type A agree.
Type B and C – in this hellish economy – can be a blended situation. This can be difficult for women I would agree… but for Type C’s add the requirements that a) the guy is more negative than positive, and unavailable emotionally, and b) is not making strides to make a new financial life.
So if you believe the Type C is emotionally available and trying, don’t count him out completely. Think of women who’ve been down on their luck, they need companionship too.
Hi Tom…as always, love your comments. I have to disagree with you on Type C. It’s one thing when you’re married but with dating, it can be a lot of someone else’s stuff to take on especially in the beginning of a relationship.
I think it’s only fair to come to the dating table clean…meaning you’re life is pretty much in order. Otherwise, companionship can come from friends and family while you’re getting your life back together.
Feel free to let me know your thoughts. Lisa
Lisa – I respect your opinion, it is a hard time for both genders once the dating game begins again. No one wants extra baggage beyond whats already there historically. Most folks are in the hole except those that “D”id nicely (usually the ladies, so says most media articles) or have lots of disposable income.
I wonder if the ladies would come up with a Type A-C for themselves, or I could suggest a few candidates (note that economics do not play a role, which is unfortunate and inequitable):
Type A: Back to young boomerville days, party-hardy and multiple d/mates despite stating online or otherwise they are ‘hopelessly romantic’ or ‘seeking relationship’ (Quality Man possible reaction: not only original baggage is present, but men will come out of the woodwork from recent days too; caution)
Type B: Thoughtful, classy, several dates minimum to a hint of a relationship; happier and young at heart since D, but also honest about risks of losing any hope of entering another solid longer term relationship at our age (QM – probably best option, realism but foundational for starting over).
Type C: Ladies who’ve had real abuse/restraining orders, forced into bankruptcy/debt, 2-3 kids still in the home (or grandkids from problematic adult kids of their own) but decent people. (QM – caution on viewing as ‘project’ based on ingrained super-provider behavior for most Beta males, yet chance for relationship like B)
Thank you Tom for our insights into us gals. Which do you like dating the most?
Type C here…. Divorced- no emotional devastation, no kids, forced to file bankruptcy…. poo on you if you think I have nothing to offer… I am kind, loyal, and devoted and very educated {MBA + second masters degree}. I may have few $$$ stashed away somewhere else.
I’m sure Thomas that you have a lot to offer. A Type C becomes an issue when he hides the fact he’s out of work and money yet asks a woman for a date to meet for coffee he can’t pay for. That’s what’s not cool. A project man is one who expects the woman to pick up the missing pieces for him. Hope this clears this up for you. Good luck and so glad you wrote!