Type C here…. Divorced- no emotional devastation, no kids, forced to file bankruptcy…. poo on you if you think I have nothing to offer… I am kind, loyal, and devoted and very educated {MBA + second masters degree}. I may have few $$$ stashed away somewhere else.
May 28, 2013 at 1:31 pm
Lisa
I’m sure Thomas that you have a lot to offer. A Type C becomes an issue when he hides the fact he’s out of work and money yet asks a woman for a date to meet for coffee he can’t pay for. That’s what’s not cool. A project man is one who expects the woman to pick up the missing pieces for him. Hope this clears this up for you. Good luck and so glad you wrote!
May 21, 2013 at 12:26 am
Lisa
Hi Tom…as always, love your comments. I have to disagree with you on Type C. It’s one thing when you’re married but with dating, it can be a lot of someone else’s stuff to take on especially in the beginning of a relationship.
I think it’s only fair to come to the dating table clean…meaning you’re life is pretty much in order. Otherwise, companionship can come from friends and family while you’re getting your life back together.
Feel free to let me know your thoughts. Lisa
May 25, 2013 at 8:36 pm
Tom again
Lisa – I respect your opinion, it is a hard time for both genders once the dating game begins again. No one wants extra baggage beyond whats already there historically. Most folks are in the hole except those that “D”id nicely (usually the ladies, so says most media articles) or have lots of disposable income.
I wonder if the ladies would come up with a Type A-C for themselves, or I could suggest a few candidates (note that economics do not play a role, which is unfortunate and inequitable):
Type A: Back to young boomerville days, party-hardy and multiple d/mates despite stating online or otherwise they are ‘hopelessly romantic’ or ‘seeking relationship’ (Quality Man possible reaction: not only original baggage is present, but men will come out of the woodwork from recent days too; caution)
Type B: Thoughtful, classy, several dates minimum to a hint of a relationship; happier and young at heart since D, but also honest about risks of losing any hope of entering another solid longer term relationship at our age (QM – probably best option, realism but foundational for starting over).
Type C: Ladies who’ve had real abuse/restraining orders, forced into bankruptcy/debt, 2-3 kids still in the home (or grandkids from problematic adult kids of their own) but decent people. (QM – caution on viewing as ‘project’ based on ingrained super-provider behavior for most Beta males, yet chance for relationship like B)
May 25, 2013 at 8:46 pm
Lisa
Thank you Tom for our insights into us gals. Which do you like dating the most?
May 21, 2013 at 12:17 am
Tom again
Oooh Lisa – good article… however with large flashing yellows about making stereotypes in the background.
Type A agree.
Type B and C – in this hellish economy – can be a blended situation. This can be difficult for women I would agree… but for Type C’s add the requirements that a) the guy is more negative than positive, and unavailable emotionally, and b) is not making strides to make a new financial life.
So if you believe the Type C is emotionally available and trying, don’t count him out completely. Think of women who’ve been down on their luck, they need companionship too.
May 20, 2013 at 2:45 pm
Lisa
Great point about Type D. And you are right about sharing core values and compatibility in the other areas you mentioned. Thank you for your insights.
May 20, 2013 at 2:54 am
noquay
Whoops, forgot type D, the playa which occurs in all socioeconomic levels. Like type C, he is not a quality man. I think what really needs to happen is that both parties need to be at similar economic, lifestyle, and intellectual levels and obviously share core values.
May 28, 2013 at 7:48 am
Thomas
Type C here…. Divorced- no emotional devastation, no kids, forced to file bankruptcy…. poo on you if you think I have nothing to offer… I am kind, loyal, and devoted and very educated {MBA + second masters degree}. I may have few $$$ stashed away somewhere else.
May 28, 2013 at 1:31 pm
Lisa
I’m sure Thomas that you have a lot to offer. A Type C becomes an issue when he hides the fact he’s out of work and money yet asks a woman for a date to meet for coffee he can’t pay for. That’s what’s not cool. A project man is one who expects the woman to pick up the missing pieces for him. Hope this clears this up for you. Good luck and so glad you wrote!
May 21, 2013 at 12:26 am
Lisa
Hi Tom…as always, love your comments. I have to disagree with you on Type C. It’s one thing when you’re married but with dating, it can be a lot of someone else’s stuff to take on especially in the beginning of a relationship.
I think it’s only fair to come to the dating table clean…meaning you’re life is pretty much in order. Otherwise, companionship can come from friends and family while you’re getting your life back together.
Feel free to let me know your thoughts. Lisa
May 25, 2013 at 8:36 pm
Tom again
Lisa – I respect your opinion, it is a hard time for both genders once the dating game begins again. No one wants extra baggage beyond whats already there historically. Most folks are in the hole except those that “D”id nicely (usually the ladies, so says most media articles) or have lots of disposable income.
I wonder if the ladies would come up with a Type A-C for themselves, or I could suggest a few candidates (note that economics do not play a role, which is unfortunate and inequitable):
Type A: Back to young boomerville days, party-hardy and multiple d/mates despite stating online or otherwise they are ‘hopelessly romantic’ or ‘seeking relationship’ (Quality Man possible reaction: not only original baggage is present, but men will come out of the woodwork from recent days too; caution)
Type B: Thoughtful, classy, several dates minimum to a hint of a relationship; happier and young at heart since D, but also honest about risks of losing any hope of entering another solid longer term relationship at our age (QM – probably best option, realism but foundational for starting over).
Type C: Ladies who’ve had real abuse/restraining orders, forced into bankruptcy/debt, 2-3 kids still in the home (or grandkids from problematic adult kids of their own) but decent people. (QM – caution on viewing as ‘project’ based on ingrained super-provider behavior for most Beta males, yet chance for relationship like B)
May 25, 2013 at 8:46 pm
Lisa
Thank you Tom for our insights into us gals. Which do you like dating the most?
May 21, 2013 at 12:17 am
Tom again
Oooh Lisa – good article… however with large flashing yellows about making stereotypes in the background.
Type A agree.
Type B and C – in this hellish economy – can be a blended situation. This can be difficult for women I would agree… but for Type C’s add the requirements that a) the guy is more negative than positive, and unavailable emotionally, and b) is not making strides to make a new financial life.
So if you believe the Type C is emotionally available and trying, don’t count him out completely. Think of women who’ve been down on their luck, they need companionship too.
May 20, 2013 at 2:45 pm
Lisa
Great point about Type D. And you are right about sharing core values and compatibility in the other areas you mentioned. Thank you for your insights.
May 20, 2013 at 2:54 am
noquay
Whoops, forgot type D, the playa which occurs in all socioeconomic levels. Like type C, he is not a quality man. I think what really needs to happen is that both parties need to be at similar economic, lifestyle, and intellectual levels and obviously share core values.