Why Being A Cougar After 50 Can Be So Much Fun!
I shared one of those funny Facebook photos recently that said:
Madonna is 55, her boyfriend is 22. Tina Turner is 75, her boyfriend is 40. JLo is 40, her boyfriend is 26. Mariah Carey is 44, her husband is 32. Still single? Relax. Your boyfriend is not born yet!
Who knew that as women over 50, we’d have so many options to choose from when it came to dating men? And believe it or not, lots of men want to date us — older men, men our age and now younger men are trying to catch our eye.
I must admit the last one, known as Cougar Dating thanks to the now defunct marriage of Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, was a little hard for me to wrap my head around. Yes, I’d dated men 3 to 5 years younger but 10 to 20 would take some getting used to.
Back when I was in my 40’s, younger men would write me online all the time and I’d always say, “Are you looking for a mom?” They’d quickly tell me, “No way!” They just felt younger women were too high maintenance for them and had far too much drama in their lives.
I had to laugh at the high maintenance comment I heard time and time again from these young men. They just had no idea what it took to look good at 50. Hair alone can be a full time job, whether its plucking it from places you never knew hair could grow or coloring it constantly just to hide the grey.
As women over 50, we aren’t heading over to the local “Steak and Shake” for a date. No, we want to be wined and dined at only the best. Our high maintenance was just hidden from these young men since they don’t live with their mommies anymore. Somehow, they’ve created this great fantasy of who they think we are, and that is what they want to experience.
Hey, I’ll be the first to admit it feels GREAT when a younger man asks you out. He’s probably surrounded by young women with their smooth complexions and youthful glow on a daily basis. Yet here he is, willing to skip all that because he thinks we’re cool, calm and low maintenance even with wrinkles around our eyes. Imagine that?
Out and about one day, I literally bumped into this gorgeous late 30’s or early 40’s young man who was a cross between Hugh Laurie and George Clooney. We sat down and started talking and laughing.
Next thing I knew, he was asking me out. I was momentarily stunned –this handsome young stud wanted a date with me? He could have had the pick of the litter his own age and even younger, yet he was asking me, a 50+ year old woman, on a date?
I wanted to burst out laughing! Instead I played the game and flirted with him, while having a charming afternoon being courted by a young handsome man. In the end, I did not go out with him.
As much chemistry as we had, I actually found it hard to relate to a lot of what he was saying, but that afternoon was fun and he sure did make me feel good!
As great as it is for the ego, a younger man is in a totally different stage of his life. He might be just getting his career going or have minor children at home from a previous marriage.
He grew up at a different time too. All of those shared experiences Baby Boomers have in our collective memories happened when he was too young to remember — or wasn’t even born yet!
You may find that a man closer to your age is a better fit as someone you want to share your life with. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun trying the cougar thing for a change!
For more on the types of men there are out there to date, check out The Winning Dating Formula For Women Over 50, where I have a detailed list of younger men, older men, and everything in between.
Have you tried cougar dating? Tell us in the comments.
Until next time-
Believing in You!
P.S. Whenever you are ready, here are four ways I can help you find love after 50
#1: Get a copy of my book The Winning Dating Formula on Amazon
Where I will walk you through a step-by-step breakdown of the exact tools and strategies you need for attracting the right man into your life — Click here
#2: Join the Finding Love after 50 Facebook group
It’s our Facebook community where you can connect with me and a community of women ready to support you on your journey for finding love after 50 — Click here
#3: Work with me 1-on-1 or in my Group Program
I would love to learn more about your dating journey, understand where you might be stuck, and give you a personalized step-by-step blueprint to attract the right man. And maybe even talk about how we can work together.
If you are interested in learning more about how I can help, you can Click here to answer a few quick questions and schedule a call.
#4: Subscribe to my YouTube Channel
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Here recently I have been approached by three men in their thirties. One only wanted a NSA type of relationship which I turned down flat. Another one was married and said absolutely not! But the last one, I did meet and he was nice but he just wasn’t what I had expected in a male. To me, he did not present himself as an alpha male. Being 58, I have a hard time sometimes wrapping my head around the age thing. My girl friend does it all the time. I suppose I need to get rid of the stinkin’ thinkin’ and go with the flow. Or maybe, I am just being picky!
Actually, I am the opposite, even dating in my age group as a young woman, I had little in common w/ my dates and they never went anywhere. not onto family or popular culture at all, so we never hit it off. However, dating older men (20 yrs) seems to be what worked as all 3 of my long term rships, including my 12 year marriage were with men that much older. Nope, I am not a gold digger type, rather a high end professional with her own homes and a really good salary. perhaps in a few years, when younger guys mature somewhat, get done doing the family thing, I may consider the cougar path as the younger guys may still be reasonably healthy.
My entire life i've dated younger men. Husband number one was 4 months younger. Serious longterm boyfrieng was 7 years younger. Husband number two was 10 years younger and we were happy till the day he died.
I look younger than I am. I act younger, i.e. I don't say I'm too old do do that. I am comfortable with a man who is younger than me.
I graduated from high school in 74 and college in 78. I was one of those glass ceiling breaking women. I find that men older than me tend to be looking for a relationship based of very traditional gender role models.Men younger than me are much more open to those ' newer' notions of less traditional gender role models. And that works for me.
That's why i prefer to date slightly younger men. But I do hate the term cougar. A man who dates a younger woman is not labeled. Why should I be?
I prefer someone my age, let's say somewhere in the bracket 5 years older or 5 years younger. However, at my age (49) a lot of men my age want a younger woman and it looks like it is the 10-15 years older guys who are interested in me. I don't do older men though. Being together with one has a huge negative impact on the life of a woman. Age differences become sharper with age. The difference between a 50 year old woman and a 60 year old man becomes harder to cope with when she is 70 and he is 80. You will almost surely end up nursing your man in his last years and be a widow for a longer time after he dies.
This said I would not object dating a 10 year younger man if there was one showing interest but I am not looking for it. It is a fact that these men are from a different generation and are a lot more emancipated. The have less problems with financially independent women with a good career. They are also less stuck in stereotypical roles for men and women and want to help with household chores.
Toosmart
I find there to be a larger difference in 20-30 than 50-60.
I know men in their 80’s and 90’s who go out dancing, take world cruises, are actively running their own businesses and are in triathlons. I know women in their late 60’s early 70’s who are plagued by health problems and in assisted living or walkers. So you really cannot generalize.
And my husband was 43 when he died. Yep 43.
There are no guarantees in life.
I’ve stopped saying no to the opportunities that come my way.
Since I’ve started saying yes to life I’ve been much happier and having a great time.
It realy is about attitude.