The Top 8 Over 50’s Dating Turn Offs
Here’s a heads up for the post 50 single men out there… We ladies are so excited when you choose us as the “girl” you want to meet. Hours before our date with you, we are worrying whether you’ll like us. Our bedroom floor is littered with clothes as we look for just the perfect outfit to impress you. We do our best to look good, hoping the two of us click. Then the date happens and sometimes we’re bewildered by who we meet.
1. Gentlemen, please dress like you care about yourself. You don’t have to wear a suit to impress us but it would be nice if you didn’t wear your baggiest jeans and a stained shirt.
You may be losing weight but there are a zillion discount stores out there that will gladly sell you a nice pair of jeans and a polo style shirt for less than $50. It’s worth the investment if you want to get a second date with us.
2. Women are really turned off and have no interest in kissing your bad teeth or skimming their lips over visible skin tags on your neck. Aging takes its toll on all of us physically, but don’t let that be an excuse for being sloppy.
You may be the greatest guy on the planet with the most sensual lips but if your teeth are missing or your skin has developed tags, then I guarantee you’re getting passed over for an issue that can be easily fixed with a quick visit to your doctor or dentist.
3. Please choose a picture that looks like you for your online dating profile. A friend recently had a date with a man who was 100 pounds heavier than his online picture revealed. She got to the restaurant and was unable to identify her date. She resorted to calling him, figuring the guy who picked his phone up was her date.
Show us who you really are. Doing a bait and switch with your pictures, hoping we’ll like you in person only makes us wonder what else you’re hiding.
4. Please don’t start our date by telling us gross stories like your dog has fleas, especially if we’ve hugged you. A client of mine actually had this happen. There’s no way we want to expose ourselves to situations that might be contagious. If anything, we’ll want to leave so we can go home and fumigate our clothes. Yuck!
5. If you ask us out for a first date, please pay. We’re happy to share the bill with you at a later date but whoever does the asking should be the one pulling their wallet out. Please don’t ask us out if you can’t even afford a cup of coffee. Get your financial situation straightened out before dating.
6. We know if you like us, you want to impress us with all you do and have. You drone on and on about all the great things in your life, even showing us pictures of your house, your car, your landscaping and your dog.
We want to get to know you, but a one-way monologue is boring. We were taught as little girls to make you feel good so we listen. Most of us are not sure where to interject without appearing rude.
It would be so helpful if you asked us questions too. Dialogue is much more fun!
7. Men, as you’ve aged you’ve become far more passionate in your political views. Many a woman has been forced to listen to you pontificate about the world and how you feel it should be run.
There’s nothing wrong with sharing your views. Just don’t lecture us for an hour and then expect us to go out with you again. After 10 minutes, you’ve totally turned us off.
8. Lastly, please don’t stick your tongue down our throats at the end of a first date when you like us. A gentle kiss feels so much nicer. Women are far more into romantic love and a slow gentle kiss will make us want you more. The tongue thrust makes us think you’re at best overly aggressive and at worst a creep.
Okay, over 50’s men out there, this was tough on you. My next article will be the biggest things women do to turn you off. If fact, feel free to make suggestions for what I should include in the comments. (Ladies, if you want to get a good laugh you can check out some of the comments right here.)
In the meantime, if you really want to impress a woman consider keeping these eight turn offs out of your dating repertoire. You’ll have far better luck finding the woman of your dreams when you do.
So ladies…what do you think? Sound familiar? I’m looking forward to hearing your biggest turn offs.
Until next time~
Believing in You!
P.S. Whenever you are ready, here are four ways I can help you find love after 50
#1: Get a copy of my book The Winning Dating Formula on Amazon
Where I will walk you through a step-by-step breakdown of the exact tools and strategies you need for attracting the right man into your life — Click here
#2: Join the Finding Love after 50 Facebook group
It’s our Facebook community where you can connect with me and a community of women ready to support you on your journey for finding love after 50 — Click here
#3: Work with me 1-on-1 or in my Group Program
I would love to learn more about your dating journey, understand where you might be stuck, and give you a personalized step-by-step blueprint to attract the right man. And maybe even talk about how we can work together.
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This is sooo relevant. Except for the tongue down the throat part on date 1 (guy wanted to do this and met beaucoup resistance)I have dealt with each and every one of these the past coupla years of on line which is why I am giving up this year. Some more:
I am sorry you misunderestimated what you’d need to retire on and cannot continue your footloose ski bum lifestyle. However, seeking out financially responsible chix when your own financial affairs are in disarray makes it look like you are looking for a meal ticket. Do not date; get a job instead.
2. If you have major emotional/physical issues that prevent you from a. being present in a committed relationship
b. participating in the physical aspects of a rship
These things mean that you have work to do. I understand that manure happens in our lives but do not advertise you are rship ready when you are not. We are dates, not therapists.
3. this is a biggie that seems to, alas, be commonly accepted behavior among men. Dudes: if you are married or attached to another in any way, shape, or form, do not, repeat do not present yourself in any way that leads us to believe that you are single and available. This is both humiliating and heartbreaking to us chix. Do not go there.
4. Honesty is the best policy. I understand that us active, fit chix are condemned as elitist when we want a partner who is reasonably in shape and takes care of himself. If you have serious health issues, be honest about it. Do not call yourself a marathon runner if the race was 30 years ago and now you can barely negotiate stairs. We figure this out in about 30 seconds. Not fair plus highly active and highly sedentary folks lifestyles do not mesh well.
5. Please understand when we do not want to let you pick us up at our home, know where we live or work, give out our phone number on or near date 1. We are exercising good sense and taking charge of our safety. Your behavior may be stellar but many others is not. In general a woman who has done the on line thing has experienced all of the following: on line scammers/frauds, cyberstalking which can escalate into the real life version, harassment because we do not return interest, liars of all stripes, and the downright creepy. It’s nothing about you, tis only that we have to watch our own back.
I agree with your list but need to add that women are guilty of similar mistakes. If I have heard once, I’ve heard it a 1000 times that women use old photos or photos of a sister or friend. I’ve also heard from the men I’ve met through online dating sites, it is not uncommon for women to make a date and then stand a man up. I would personally prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way through friends, work, church but those avenues are leading nowhere.
Hi Dede: The old photo of a sister… happened to my brother. I asked him why would she send him a black and white picture? She mailed it to him. The picture online was of a confident, gorgeous career woman. What finally showed up was a “hot mess” who was, at least 20 years older than that picture of her sister!
People say they want honesty… but do things like that…so much for honest.
I think I dated those men…come to think of it, a couple of them were all rolled into one!
The no teeth rule and the picture of him 50-100 lighter is horrible! I know women have done that too…but come on, why lie or “forget” to tell someone you don’t look like that anymore?
I met a man online… we talked for 3 months on the phone. Finally we were going to meet. He had absolutely no teeth in his mouth. He was shorter than me (I’m 5’3″) but told me he was 5’6″.
Last man I met was 40 pounds heavier than his picture and all he could talk about was the movies he saw. In excruciating detail.
But I won’t give up… I’m finding out how strong I am and what I don’t want. It’s a good thing.
Dede and Paula
Sad to know I am not the only one that has experienced this. Yep, women lie too. Frankly, I do not see why ANYONE lies about height , weight, fitness level, economic situation, and presence/absence of dentition. Tis not like they are not going be found out and soon, and yep, rejected pronto. My current wannabe stalker dude is missing half his teeth and owns up to the fact that when he had dental insurance and could afford to address the problem, he had a gum issue which he chose not to treat and had half his teeth pulled because it was less hassle. He also admits to not wanting to even talk to his aging dad, nor visit him knowing I am currently supporting a chronically ill parent, says he will probably have to start going to the charity meals because he retired too early and does not wanna get a job, and that he refuses to grow up and be responsible. He is 70 and mad as heck because I rejected him. He got there under his own steam.
Noquay…. You just be careful with this man… he sounds totally unstable.
Lying about what a person looks like, on the net, is ridiculous, especially if they meet you! Doesn’t make sense to me. Maybe they (men & women) think you’ve fallen for them sight unseen, it won’t make a difference. Well they do have a surprise coming, don’t they?
I have heard some wonderful love stories from people who have met online. From them not a promo for a dating site. But I’ve heard some scary stories too. Sad ones, too.
And then there are the scammers! I have real stories on that, personally. I think these “men” think since I’m in my 60’s I’m desperate and needy. WRONG! And what they say is scripted, you can tell. No American male talks like they just dropped out of an Old Western Dime Novel. I’ve never let it get as far as their asking for money. But I know 2 women and one man it happened to. I warned one of the women, she said I was being negative. She’s out $3,000.00.
Thank goodness for Skype and Yahoo Messenger… can see them in real time.
Good luck!
This seems like good advice to us dudes. In all fairness, though, as regards #7, I’ve seen tons of online women’s profiles that are long diatribes on politics, religion, the environment, animals, entertainment, life vision, injustice, etc. They read like campaign or protest rally platforms.
I’m an easy-going guy (isn’t that supposed to be a benefit of getting older?), so I never message or reply to messages from those women. I don’t want to come home to someone screaming at the TV because the world isn’t “right” or “moral” or “fair.”
I do appreciate the women who write those online screeds, though. It’s an easier and clear signal for to me to skip them faster.
Speed
Some men rant and rave too, and yep, I looove it because it quickly shows me who they are.
Hi Speed: To be honest with you, I haven’t perused the women’s side of the profiles. Luckily men don’t rant and rave. I get a kick out of the ones that tell you what they won’t tolerate..and the list is long.
This forum is pretty cool. Sharing experiences without worrying if we’re impressing someone.
Paula
I am really careful. He has been driving by on my road and I narrowly avoided him while walking in town. Fortunately, I seem a good deal more alert than he.
Noquay
I’m glad that you aren’t taking his actions lightly.
Happy Easter, y’all