I’m glad that you aren’t taking his actions lightly.
April 16, 2014 at 10:10 pm
Noquay
Paula
I am really careful. He has been driving by on my road and I narrowly avoided him while walking in town. Fortunately, I seem a good deal more alert than he.
April 16, 2014 at 9:26 pm
Paula
Hi Speed: To be honest with you, I haven’t perused the women’s side of the profiles. Luckily men don’t rant and rave. I get a kick out of the ones that tell you what they won’t tolerate..and the list is long.
This forum is pretty cool. Sharing experiences without worrying if we’re impressing someone.
April 16, 2014 at 8:17 am
Speed
This seems like good advice to us dudes. In all fairness, though, as regards #7, I’ve seen tons of online women’s profiles that are long diatribes on politics, religion, the environment, animals, entertainment, life vision, injustice, etc. They read like campaign or protest rally platforms.
I’m an easy-going guy (isn’t that supposed to be a benefit of getting older?), so I never message or reply to messages from those women. I don’t want to come home to someone screaming at the TV because the world isn’t “right” or “moral” or “fair.”
I do appreciate the women who write those online screeds, though. It’s an easier and clear signal for to me to skip them faster.
April 16, 2014 at 10:13 pm
Noquay
Speed
Some men rant and rave too, and yep, I looove it because it quickly shows me who they are.
April 15, 2014 at 9:03 pm
Paula
Noquay…. You just be careful with this man… he sounds totally unstable.
Lying about what a person looks like, on the net, is ridiculous, especially if they meet you! Doesn’t make sense to me. Maybe they (men & women) think you’ve fallen for them sight unseen, it won’t make a difference. Well they do have a surprise coming, don’t they?
I have heard some wonderful love stories from people who have met online. From them not a promo for a dating site. But I’ve heard some scary stories too. Sad ones, too.
And then there are the scammers! I have real stories on that, personally. I think these “men” think since I’m in my 60’s I’m desperate and needy. WRONG! And what they say is scripted, you can tell. No American male talks like they just dropped out of an Old Western Dime Novel. I’ve never let it get as far as their asking for money. But I know 2 women and one man it happened to. I warned one of the women, she said I was being negative. She’s out $3,000.00.
Thank goodness for Skype and Yahoo Messenger… can see them in real time.
Good luck!
April 15, 2014 at 5:13 pm
Noquay
Dede and Paula
Sad to know I am not the only one that has experienced this. Yep, women lie too. Frankly, I do not see why ANYONE lies about height , weight, fitness level, economic situation, and presence/absence of dentition. Tis not like they are not going be found out and soon, and yep, rejected pronto. My current wannabe stalker dude is missing half his teeth and owns up to the fact that when he had dental insurance and could afford to address the problem, he had a gum issue which he chose not to treat and had half his teeth pulled because it was less hassle. He also admits to not wanting to even talk to his aging dad, nor visit him knowing I am currently supporting a chronically ill parent, says he will probably have to start going to the charity meals because he retired too early and does not wanna get a job, and that he refuses to grow up and be responsible. He is 70 and mad as heck because I rejected him. He got there under his own steam.
April 14, 2014 at 9:05 pm
Paula
I think I dated those men…come to think of it, a couple of them were all rolled into one!
The no teeth rule and the picture of him 50-100 lighter is horrible! I know women have done that too…but come on, why lie or “forget” to tell someone you don’t look like that anymore?
I met a man online… we talked for 3 months on the phone. Finally we were going to meet. He had absolutely no teeth in his mouth. He was shorter than me (I’m 5’3″) but told me he was 5’6″.
Last man I met was 40 pounds heavier than his picture and all he could talk about was the movies he saw. In excruciating detail.
But I won’t give up… I’m finding out how strong I am and what I don’t want. It’s a good thing.
I agree with your list but need to add that women are guilty of similar mistakes. If I have heard once, I’ve heard it a 1000 times that women use old photos or photos of a sister or friend. I’ve also heard from the men I’ve met through online dating sites, it is not uncommon for women to make a date and then stand a man up. I would personally prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way through friends, work, church but those avenues are leading nowhere.
April 14, 2014 at 9:17 pm
Paula
Hi Dede: The old photo of a sister… happened to my brother. I asked him why would she send him a black and white picture? She mailed it to him. The picture online was of a confident, gorgeous career woman. What finally showed up was a “hot mess” who was, at least 20 years older than that picture of her sister!
People say they want honesty… but do things like that…so much for honest.
April 14, 2014 at 1:24 pm
Noquay
This is sooo relevant. Except for the tongue down the throat part on date 1 (guy wanted to do this and met beaucoup resistance)I have dealt with each and every one of these the past coupla years of on line which is why I am giving up this year. Some more:
I am sorry you misunderestimated what you’d need to retire on and cannot continue your footloose ski bum lifestyle. However, seeking out financially responsible chix when your own financial affairs are in disarray makes it look like you are looking for a meal ticket. Do not date; get a job instead.
2. If you have major emotional/physical issues that prevent you from a. being present in a committed relationship
b. participating in the physical aspects of a rship
These things mean that you have work to do. I understand that manure happens in our lives but do not advertise you are rship ready when you are not. We are dates, not therapists.
3. this is a biggie that seems to, alas, be commonly accepted behavior among men. Dudes: if you are married or attached to another in any way, shape, or form, do not, repeat do not present yourself in any way that leads us to believe that you are single and available. This is both humiliating and heartbreaking to us chix. Do not go there.
4. Honesty is the best policy. I understand that us active, fit chix are condemned as elitist when we want a partner who is reasonably in shape and takes care of himself. If you have serious health issues, be honest about it. Do not call yourself a marathon runner if the race was 30 years ago and now you can barely negotiate stairs. We figure this out in about 30 seconds. Not fair plus highly active and highly sedentary folks lifestyles do not mesh well.
5. Please understand when we do not want to let you pick us up at our home, know where we live or work, give out our phone number on or near date 1. We are exercising good sense and taking charge of our safety. Your behavior may be stellar but many others is not. In general a woman who has done the on line thing has experienced all of the following: on line scammers/frauds, cyberstalking which can escalate into the real life version, harassment because we do not return interest, liars of all stripes, and the downright creepy. It’s nothing about you, tis only that we have to watch our own back.
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April 20, 2014 at 1:49 pm
Paula
Happy Easter, y’all
April 16, 2014 at 10:29 pm
Paula
Noquay
I’m glad that you aren’t taking his actions lightly.
April 16, 2014 at 10:10 pm
Noquay
Paula
I am really careful. He has been driving by on my road and I narrowly avoided him while walking in town. Fortunately, I seem a good deal more alert than he.
April 16, 2014 at 9:26 pm
Paula
Hi Speed: To be honest with you, I haven’t perused the women’s side of the profiles. Luckily men don’t rant and rave. I get a kick out of the ones that tell you what they won’t tolerate..and the list is long.
This forum is pretty cool. Sharing experiences without worrying if we’re impressing someone.
April 16, 2014 at 8:17 am
Speed
This seems like good advice to us dudes. In all fairness, though, as regards #7, I’ve seen tons of online women’s profiles that are long diatribes on politics, religion, the environment, animals, entertainment, life vision, injustice, etc. They read like campaign or protest rally platforms.
I’m an easy-going guy (isn’t that supposed to be a benefit of getting older?), so I never message or reply to messages from those women. I don’t want to come home to someone screaming at the TV because the world isn’t “right” or “moral” or “fair.”
I do appreciate the women who write those online screeds, though. It’s an easier and clear signal for to me to skip them faster.
April 16, 2014 at 10:13 pm
Noquay
Speed
Some men rant and rave too, and yep, I looove it because it quickly shows me who they are.
April 15, 2014 at 9:03 pm
Paula
Noquay…. You just be careful with this man… he sounds totally unstable.
Lying about what a person looks like, on the net, is ridiculous, especially if they meet you! Doesn’t make sense to me. Maybe they (men & women) think you’ve fallen for them sight unseen, it won’t make a difference. Well they do have a surprise coming, don’t they?
I have heard some wonderful love stories from people who have met online. From them not a promo for a dating site. But I’ve heard some scary stories too. Sad ones, too.
And then there are the scammers! I have real stories on that, personally. I think these “men” think since I’m in my 60’s I’m desperate and needy. WRONG! And what they say is scripted, you can tell. No American male talks like they just dropped out of an Old Western Dime Novel. I’ve never let it get as far as their asking for money. But I know 2 women and one man it happened to. I warned one of the women, she said I was being negative. She’s out $3,000.00.
Thank goodness for Skype and Yahoo Messenger… can see them in real time.
Good luck!
April 15, 2014 at 5:13 pm
Noquay
Dede and Paula
Sad to know I am not the only one that has experienced this. Yep, women lie too. Frankly, I do not see why ANYONE lies about height , weight, fitness level, economic situation, and presence/absence of dentition. Tis not like they are not going be found out and soon, and yep, rejected pronto. My current wannabe stalker dude is missing half his teeth and owns up to the fact that when he had dental insurance and could afford to address the problem, he had a gum issue which he chose not to treat and had half his teeth pulled because it was less hassle. He also admits to not wanting to even talk to his aging dad, nor visit him knowing I am currently supporting a chronically ill parent, says he will probably have to start going to the charity meals because he retired too early and does not wanna get a job, and that he refuses to grow up and be responsible. He is 70 and mad as heck because I rejected him. He got there under his own steam.
April 14, 2014 at 9:05 pm
Paula
I think I dated those men…come to think of it, a couple of them were all rolled into one!
The no teeth rule and the picture of him 50-100 lighter is horrible! I know women have done that too…but come on, why lie or “forget” to tell someone you don’t look like that anymore?
I met a man online… we talked for 3 months on the phone. Finally we were going to meet. He had absolutely no teeth in his mouth. He was shorter than me (I’m 5’3″) but told me he was 5’6″.
Last man I met was 40 pounds heavier than his picture and all he could talk about was the movies he saw. In excruciating detail.
But I won’t give up… I’m finding out how strong I am and what I don’t want. It’s a good thing.
April 14, 2014 at 3:00 pm
Dede Erickson
I agree with your list but need to add that women are guilty of similar mistakes. If I have heard once, I’ve heard it a 1000 times that women use old photos or photos of a sister or friend. I’ve also heard from the men I’ve met through online dating sites, it is not uncommon for women to make a date and then stand a man up. I would personally prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way through friends, work, church but those avenues are leading nowhere.
April 14, 2014 at 9:17 pm
Paula
Hi Dede: The old photo of a sister… happened to my brother. I asked him why would she send him a black and white picture? She mailed it to him. The picture online was of a confident, gorgeous career woman. What finally showed up was a “hot mess” who was, at least 20 years older than that picture of her sister!
People say they want honesty… but do things like that…so much for honest.
April 14, 2014 at 1:24 pm
Noquay
This is sooo relevant. Except for the tongue down the throat part on date 1 (guy wanted to do this and met beaucoup resistance)I have dealt with each and every one of these the past coupla years of on line which is why I am giving up this year. Some more:
I am sorry you misunderestimated what you’d need to retire on and cannot continue your footloose ski bum lifestyle. However, seeking out financially responsible chix when your own financial affairs are in disarray makes it look like you are looking for a meal ticket. Do not date; get a job instead.
2. If you have major emotional/physical issues that prevent you from a. being present in a committed relationship
b. participating in the physical aspects of a rship
These things mean that you have work to do. I understand that manure happens in our lives but do not advertise you are rship ready when you are not. We are dates, not therapists.
3. this is a biggie that seems to, alas, be commonly accepted behavior among men. Dudes: if you are married or attached to another in any way, shape, or form, do not, repeat do not present yourself in any way that leads us to believe that you are single and available. This is both humiliating and heartbreaking to us chix. Do not go there.
4. Honesty is the best policy. I understand that us active, fit chix are condemned as elitist when we want a partner who is reasonably in shape and takes care of himself. If you have serious health issues, be honest about it. Do not call yourself a marathon runner if the race was 30 years ago and now you can barely negotiate stairs. We figure this out in about 30 seconds. Not fair plus highly active and highly sedentary folks lifestyles do not mesh well.
5. Please understand when we do not want to let you pick us up at our home, know where we live or work, give out our phone number on or near date 1. We are exercising good sense and taking charge of our safety. Your behavior may be stellar but many others is not. In general a woman who has done the on line thing has experienced all of the following: on line scammers/frauds, cyberstalking which can escalate into the real life version, harassment because we do not return interest, liars of all stripes, and the downright creepy. It’s nothing about you, tis only that we have to watch our own back.