Ladies, Here’s How To Find Love Over 50 Based On The ABC Hit Show, Scandal
I was a bit slow to catch onto ABC’s Scandal. Everyone was talking about it so I decided to take the plunge and bought season 1 on iTunes. Whether or not you’re a Scandal fan, there is a lot to learn from the characters in this show when it comes to finding and keeping men and relationships in your life.
We’ll begin with President Fitzgerald Grant. Fitz is the perfect bad boy. He’s handsome; he went to the best schools and he’s led a very pampered life. He’s masculine and charismatic as this country’s president and nothing is more attractive to women than a powerful man.
Instinctually, a bad boy knows what to say to make a woman feel cared for. Even with divorce on his mind, Fitz stayed by his wife’s side encouraging her with the endearing words she needed to hear as she gave birth to their son.
Fitz, typical of a bad boy, believes the grass might be greener elsewhere when it came to love, so he begins a torrid affair with a woman who fixes the problems of Washington and the world, Olivia Pope.
Olivia falls madly in love with this bad boy and an exciting relationship ensues, based on chemistry and her ability to challenge his mind. Rarely do you see them share anything beyond their addiction to each other or the state of the country.
When this chemistry-filled relationship gets put on hold, Olivia takes up once again with an old flame of hers, Senator Edison Davis. What she does right with this man is she lets him pursue her.
Like most men, he’s interested in having sex with her ASAP. Ladies, sex is what bonds a man to you. As the two of them stand at her door saying good night, Olivia clearly expresses her boundaries when it comes to having sex on a first date. Not happening!
In the end, Olivia gives up her good man to wait for her presidential bad boy to divorce his wife. Saying goodbye to Edison, she shares these words, “Love should be painful, difficult, devastating, life-changing, and extraordinary.”
What she doesn’t realize is she’s described the Oxytocin chemical high she gets every time she and her bad boy come together or think of each other. She’s so addicted that she can’t see she’s attracted to the chemical reaction she feels, not the real guy. FYI…love should be easy, not painful.
Then we have Mellie, Fitz’s wife. Mellie is the type of woman who will do anything to keep her man and her ambition alive. She gave up her career as a lawyer to support her husband’s climb to the top and she’ll do anything to keep him there.
Women sacrificing and turning themselves into pretzels to please men is nothing new. It’s in a woman’s DNA to do whatever it takes to hang onto the man who will keep both she and her children safe and protected.
Next, we have Cyrus, the president’s right hand man. Cyrus is in a relationship with a reporter who covers the news from the White House. This relationship is doomed from the start because Cyrus can’t be honest with his partner.
He’s of the opinion that he knows what’s best for his partner so he lies and manipulates to keep his partner safe. While Cyrus is gay on Scandal, there are plenty of heterosexual men just like him who love playing the role of God.
Finally, there’s Abby. She falls in love with a really good man, David Rosen. He’s typical of the “nice guy” so many women pass up for not having the savvy and charm bad boys like Fitz have.
Whereas Fitz is a narcissist who is all about Fitz, David is the kind of man who would be there for you as a knight in shining armor ready to save the day for you if you let him.
So there you have it. The characters of Scandal, playing out what you face everyday as you look for your true love in dating.
Who are you in this drama? And which type of man would you like…the bad boy Fitz, Cyrus, the man whose actions reflect his opinion of what’s best for you or David, the nice guy who may not have the charm and finesse of Fitz but will be there for you when you need him.
I would love to hear your thoughts.
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Believing in You!
P.S. Whenever you are ready, here are four ways I can help you find love after 50
#1: Get a copy of my book The Winning Dating Formula on Amazon
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#3: Work with me 1-on-1 or in my Group Program
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OK Lisa, I’m back…
This is a great and TIMELY post for me.
In my mid-50s and hopefully(?) coming out of a Divorce with something in my pockets and my self-esteem, where like 80% of D’s at our age its the Woman that went bye-bye (in this case on a faithful ‘nice’ Provider)…
I am thinking NOW how to mentally prepare for maybe 5, 10 more decent years of healthy somewhat-youthful relationship gaming…. and boy everything I read out there to help GUYS is about GAME. I am happy(?) to hear that the same Archetype dating personalities you write about above are the same as the GAME articles I’ve been reading.
What none of this points to however, is that in your 50s… your Looks, your Goals (no more kids, looks/sagging, been-there-done-that of many areas…but also truly gang there are no more Long Term relationships because… there likely isn’t a Long Term!), your Immediate Family are not conducive to a lot of time energy to keep up with these Joneses!!
I am coming fast to the conclusion that Bad Boys Rule – so I’m taking High-T, losing weight, reading Game, and switching columns from Nice (Stupid, it seems) Guy to Bad Boy accordingly.
Boomer Ladies – consider this. As you adore the Bad Boys, and now divorce Nice Guys, know they will go extinct or be even more needy/pliable (ewww… I know how repulsive now that is to you).
As I head into the sunset count me as another, trying to capture 5-10y after a lifetime of being taken for a ride on thinking women wanted sensitive caring men… geesh
Let the comments start!
Hi Tom
So glad you are back. Ok, before you change yourself to a game player… consider this….a partnership is created on who people really are. You are a nice guy and there are plenty of women out there who will want you as a nice guy. Don’t give up on finding her.
What you can do in the meantime is talk with any female friends you might have about what you can do to become more interesting to women. A lot of women find nice guys to be boring. Why? Cause a woman loves a man who takes charge…not all the time…but enough to make her feel safe, loved and protected. Keep posting your comments and let me know how its going.