How to cope with the loneliness and the emptiness as winter comes
One of the hardest things you face as a single woman over 50 is the emptiness you feel inside when you’re missing a man in your life.
Now it’s probably emphasized even more as the Pandemic continues.
If you’re out and about you might see couples holding hands, kissing, and whispering in each other’s ear over the private life they share.
Or you do a Zoom call with one of your couple friends and you see the understanding that passes between them.
Watching couples intensifies the loneliness and makes you feel as if your life is incomplete.
In my 50’s, I can remember coming out of a long relationship feeling lost and very alone.
Instead of being part of TWO . . . I was now a “ONE” and I was having a hard time adjusting to my new status.
I shared this with a married friend of mine who gave me some great advice.
She said, “Enjoy this time of getting to know you again. Once you’re back in a relationship, you’ll wish you’d had more of it.”
This was great advice but I was at a loss for finding me again.
All I wanted to do was be part of a couple once more.
Then one day, I woke up and it’s as if while I was sleeping, I was given 3 Steps on how to open my heart to myself, my life, and ultimately love with a man again.
Give these 3 Steps a try and let me know how they fill the emptiness for you.
Step #1
Being alone, you can really feel it when love is missing from your daily life.
But, how do you get that heart energy back when you’re single?
Chances are you spent years bending like a pretzel doing what an ex or everyone else wanted to do.
You put yourself last.
Now it’s time to dream again and do the things you’ve always wanted to try without having to run it past anyone but you.
This can be both exciting and freeing at the same time.
For me, I’d always wanted to take a painting class.
I did and today those paintings hang framed around my home.
Seeing them every day makes me so happy.
I just light up inside because I went after my dream of becoming an artist.
There are lots of classes, book clubs, Meet Ups, and Facebook events you can join online.
Write a list of what you’ve always wanted to do.
Then take an action step by choosing one and start doing it this week.
You’ll find that your passions can open your heart and make you glow.
Step #2
You can feel love in your heart without involving a man.
Start by making a list of all the people, animals, or places in your life you love.
I am blessed to have two granddaughters in my life.
When I was single and feeling alone, I’d tap into my feelings of how much I loved them.
My heart just opened up and that felt amazing.
You will want to ask yourself who do you love with all your heart?
Maybe it’s your dog, cat, kids, grandkids, friends, parents?
Whoever it is, just allow those feelings of love you’re feeling to flow through you.
This is a very comforting step that helps you remember that love can be felt in all different ways, not just as part of a couple.
Step #3
Treat yourself and do something to nurture YOU every day.
As women, we have a tendency to give to everyone but ourselves.
This can leave you feeling both drained and exhausted.
When you’re exhausted you feel empty and it’s pretty hard to give or get the love you want.
Planning a fun 5 minute or 2-hour activity gives you something to really look forward to every day.
It can be as simple as reading a book in the bathtub surrounded by luxurious bubbles while sipping your favorite glass of wine, or taking a walk at your favorite park, or buying yourself something online you’ve always wanted.
To help you, I’ve created a Nurturing Calendar that you can download and print by clicking here.
Getting a guy is pretty hard when you feel empty inside and that’s why these 3 steps are so important to incorporate into your life.
I would love to hear about who and what fills your heart. I hope you’ll post a comment by clicking the button below.
Until next time…Lots of love and hugs to you!
Believing in You!
P.S. Whenever you are ready, here are four ways I can help you find love after 50
#1: Get a copy of my book The Winning Dating Formula on Amazon
Where I will walk you through a step-by-step breakdown of the exact tools and strategies you need for attracting the right man into your life — Click here
#2: Join the Finding Love after 50 Facebook group
It’s our Facebook community where you can connect with me and a community of women ready to support you on your journey for finding love after 50 — Click here
#3: Work with me 1-on-1 or in my Group Program
I would love to learn more about your dating journey, understand where you might be stuck, and give you a personalized step-by-step blueprint to attract the right man. And maybe even talk about how we can work together.
If you are interested in learning more about how I can help, you can Click here to answer a few quick questions and schedule a call.
#4: Subscribe to my YouTube Channel
Click here to explore my YouTube channel for valuable tips on dating and relationships after 50! Discover insights that will empower you to attract the right partner with confidence.
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Hi Lisa,
This article, How to cope with the loneliness and emptiness as winter comes, has been very helpful to me. I’m not longing for a relationship, I’m mourning a significant loss.
I’m a widow for the 2nd time at 49, will be 50, 2021. Both losses were sudden, the 1st was after 18 years, I was 36 and had 2 teen at home. I met my 2nd husband about 9 mons later, it was literally love at 1st site and a wonderful marriage. He was 12 years older than me but didn’t look or act it. He was full of life, jokes and had a survivor’s keen, fast wit. He was a sincere, thoughtful, Christian gentleman, charming, sexy, loving…everything I ever dreamed of, I’m still caught in the spell he cast. He was truly the love of my life but he passed in April this year. We would have celebrated 12 years in July and I miss him terribly.
I’m not ready to date but I will at some point, maybe. I think I will because I still want to be appreciated and sought after. Does that sound normal?
I read all your articles and am very impressed with your generous sharing and the encouraging messages you share with ladies. You care and I appreciate your candid advice.
Respectfully,
Edwina