Dear Lisa, How Do I Get Him From The Phone to The Meet and Greet?

Dear Lisa,

I’ve been with a man for about 2 years. When we first met, he’d do everything for me. It was great. I could do no wrong, and anything I wanted he did his best to give to me. After a couple of months, I noticed him doing less and less. It felt like once the chase was over, so was he. He went back to his life and even though we go out and have fun…he’s stopped being so attentive. I love him and would do anything for him. In fact, I’ve totally rearranged my life so I can be there whenever he’s ready to play. I gave up my friends and the activities I loved doing because I thought this was the right thing to do. I want that attentive man back who was always happy and excited to see me. What’s going on here? Marlene

Marlene

For some reason, as women, we think its ok to bend like a pretzel to accommodate a man in our life.

We all do it because we care about a man and it feels natural to want to please him and make him happy.

Yet, as we do this…we start losing pieces of ourselves.

We become a mini clone of him hanging with his friends and participating in his activities and his life.

As a result, we actually become a bit dull.

You see, what made you so attractive to this man in the first place was your uniqueness, your own passion and your own zeal for the life you created before him.

It’s time to consider putting back in your life the activities and friends that made you so happy.

Give your friends a call… They are usually pretty forgiving and happy to welcome you back into the fold.

Start going out with them for a drink or dinner. A couple of times a week consider participating in the activities you loved in the past or new ones that interest you now.

As you change and find the “Real Marlene” again… he will notice and there’s a good chance it will excite him, which can bring back some of the spark you’ve been missing in your lives.

Dear Lisa,

Should I offer to split the check on a first date? Gretchen

Gretchen,

Not unless you asked him out.

Let a man pony up for the first 3 dates, which includes the coffee meet and greet… because more than likely at this point, he is the one asking you out for a second and third date.

After that, you can offer to pick up the check or make him dinner.

Then you can take turns paying, which allows you to do more things together especially if he’s on a tighter budget.

Dear Lisa,

This really nice guy contacted me online about 2 weeks ago. He texts me and calls me but doesn’t seem to want to ask me out. Is there something I can do to move things along? Thanks Cheryl

Cheryl,

I can remember men calling me on the phone and talking for hours and hours every night. And they never asked me out. I’d just listen to them ramble because I didn’t know any better.

There are some men and women out there who are only interested in being your pen pal or phone pal.

What you can do is say, “I love talking with you on the phone, but I’d really enjoy seeing you in person.”

If he doesn’t get the hint…be a little more blunt about it and say, “I feel being a pen pal or phone pal is not what I want in my life. I would enjoy meeting you. Do you feel that’s possible?”

If he says YES, but doesn’t arrange a time and place, move on unless this is the type of relationship you want.

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