I’m 59 & have been “trying” online dating now for the past 6 months and have found it very frustrating trying to make online dating work because the women make it impossible to be successful yet they want to complain!
Specifically;
Woman DO NOT give men the opportunity to get to know them, when we send them a message, they REFUSE to answer our messages. We take the time to write them but yet they won’t even send a “template response” back stating something simple like, “Thanks for your message but you are not my type.” Or “I’ve met someone; want to find out if we will be successful so I’m taking a break right now from meeting new men.” Or whatever they want to write as long as it is something instead of ignoring the message.
The women are always lying by putting up old outdated pics or incorrect information about themselves. I will NOT start any relationship based upon a lie but yet they feel it is OK in doing just that. A deal breaker on the start of the first meeting. I DO NOT want to know what you looked like 10 years ago, I want to know what you look like TODAY (within the last 6 months).
Post more than just a head shot with sunglasses on. We would like to see a full body pic to see what you actually look like. Men are visual creatures; if you don’t turn us on with your pic we WILL NOT write you. REMEMBER, you will NOT get a second chance to make a first impression. I’ve found so many women that are overweight are the ones that usually post the head shots. Do you think that being overweight does not show up in your neck & cheeks? Tell the truth; show what you have to start off on the right footing. If you don’t like your looks or your weight, then get off the couch; do something about it instead of complaining about it.
Post at LEAST 5-6 pics of yourself; NOT of scenery pics or your kids; grandkids unless it’s in addition to the good 5-6 pics of yourself FIRST.
The same principal applies to your profile that usually has little to no information about yourself. Most men are shy when talking to women so you have to write about yourself in order to give us something to talk to you about or you might just get those unwanted ONE LINE hello’s. I’m extremely outgoing & if there is nothing in the woman’s profile I find it difficult to impossible to talk about anything constructive with the first message. “I’ll tell you later” doesn’t get it.
I know that there are many flaky men & also women out there because I’ve met a LOT already but you CANNOT learn much about each other sending email back & forth. When a man wants to meet you in a public place like a coffee shop, go ahead; meet him & if things don’t work out then make an excuse to leave. Remember that the first meeting is usually VERY strained to begin with for two people that have not been dating for many years since we were both married for so many years. Give him a break unless he is a total asshole.
If you don’t feel comfortable giving out your phone number ask him for his & you call him! I usually give out my number by the time I send the 2-3 messages to allow her to call me & also showing that I have nothing to hide like still being married.
If you see someone that you like, send him a message; take the first step for no one will think bad about you for doing it; you may just meet Mr. Right instead of Mr. Right now.
This is just the tip of the iceberg but if these get straightened out, it will be a great start to a potential start of a relationship.
April 26, 2013 at 7:55 pm
soun
Dear Liza,
I like your advise so much. It was my lesson learn as well. I was facing all these challenges too so far.
April 25, 2013 at 7:47 am
Lenore
I follow the advice, shortened the wish list, broadened the physical type, started some of the conversations without being aggressive, and nada nothing, for months at a time, I think men are looking for blonde gym rats period the end, it is they who have the unrealistic wish lists not us. Some will chat, once they have your number, poof! Okcupid, pof, match, all the same, and jdate was the most unproductive so I did drop it. I maintain my good girlfriends and interests, when the universe is ready, it will provide, I can’t spend hours a day on this. Thanks for listening, Lenore
May 2, 2013 at 3:09 pm
Fast Freddy
From a Man’s point of view.
I’m 59 & have been “trying” online dating now for the past 6 months and have found it very frustrating trying to make online dating work because the women make it impossible to be successful yet they want to complain!
Specifically;
Woman DO NOT give men the opportunity to get to know them, when we send them a message, they REFUSE to answer our messages. We take the time to write them but yet they won’t even send a “template response” back stating something simple like, “Thanks for your message but you are not my type.” Or “I’ve met someone; want to find out if we will be successful so I’m taking a break right now from meeting new men.” Or whatever they want to write as long as it is something instead of ignoring the message.
The women are always lying by putting up old outdated pics or incorrect information about themselves. I will NOT start any relationship based upon a lie but yet they feel it is OK in doing just that. A deal breaker on the start of the first meeting. I DO NOT want to know what you looked like 10 years ago, I want to know what you look like TODAY (within the last 6 months).
Post more than just a head shot with sunglasses on. We would like to see a full body pic to see what you actually look like. Men are visual creatures; if you don’t turn us on with your pic we WILL NOT write you. REMEMBER, you will NOT get a second chance to make a first impression. I’ve found so many women that are overweight are the ones that usually post the head shots. Do you think that being overweight does not show up in your neck & cheeks? Tell the truth; show what you have to start off on the right footing. If you don’t like your looks or your weight, then get off the couch; do something about it instead of complaining about it.
Post at LEAST 5-6 pics of yourself; NOT of scenery pics or your kids; grandkids unless it’s in addition to the good 5-6 pics of yourself FIRST.
The same principal applies to your profile that usually has little to no information about yourself. Most men are shy when talking to women so you have to write about yourself in order to give us something to talk to you about or you might just get those unwanted ONE LINE hello’s. I’m extremely outgoing & if there is nothing in the woman’s profile I find it difficult to impossible to talk about anything constructive with the first message. “I’ll tell you later” doesn’t get it.
I know that there are many flaky men & also women out there because I’ve met a LOT already but you CANNOT learn much about each other sending email back & forth. When a man wants to meet you in a public place like a coffee shop, go ahead; meet him & if things don’t work out then make an excuse to leave. Remember that the first meeting is usually VERY strained to begin with for two people that have not been dating for many years since we were both married for so many years. Give him a break unless he is a total asshole.
If you don’t feel comfortable giving out your phone number ask him for his & you call him! I usually give out my number by the time I send the 2-3 messages to allow her to call me & also showing that I have nothing to hide like still being married.
If you see someone that you like, send him a message; take the first step for no one will think bad about you for doing it; you may just meet Mr. Right instead of Mr. Right now.
This is just the tip of the iceberg but if these get straightened out, it will be a great start to a potential start of a relationship.
April 26, 2013 at 7:55 pm
soun
Dear Liza,
I like your advise so much. It was my lesson learn as well. I was facing all these challenges too so far.
April 25, 2013 at 7:47 am
Lenore
I follow the advice, shortened the wish list, broadened the physical type, started some of the conversations without being aggressive, and nada nothing, for months at a time, I think men are looking for blonde gym rats period the end, it is they who have the unrealistic wish lists not us. Some will chat, once they have your number, poof! Okcupid, pof, match, all the same, and jdate was the most unproductive so I did drop it. I maintain my good girlfriends and interests, when the universe is ready, it will provide, I can’t spend hours a day on this. Thanks for listening, Lenore