Dear Lisa,
I’d love to date but I live in a small community and am rather well known since I’m involved in local government. My dilemma? Going online and having everyone know what’s going on in my personal life. If someone sees me, I’m concerned it will affect my standing in the community. Any suggestions? Susan
Susan,
You are in a situation that requires some creativity since you want more anonymity then Internet dating provides.
Many communities have “It’s Just Lunch” or “Great Expectations” where they fix you up with potential dates. It’s quite costly but probably worth looking into if you want to keep your identity protected.
Another dating avenue is to keep reminding people you know to fix you up. The key for success with this process is constantly reminding those Dating Fairy Godmothers you’re still available and looking for someone special.
Look for classes that interest you. You might find single suitable men there as long as it’s not knitting, needlepoint or Maj.
Remember men are everywhere…. They’re at Whole Foods or your local grocery store between 5-7 looking for dinner, sporting events, the local coffee shop, your Chamber of Commerce and the list goes on.
All you have to do is make eye contact, smile and start up a conversation and you never know where it might lead you.
Dear Lisa,
I’ve gone on so many first dates with men I’ve met online and maybe one has turned into a second. I dress nicely. I make sure the conversation keeps moving, and I always thank them for such a nice time. What am I doing wrong? Denise
Denise,
The challenge of online dating is it’s one-dimensional. Both men and women see a picture, read a profile, and make up a story about who they think that person is.
Often reality doesn’t match the picture and that’s why a second date might not be happening for you. Are you speaking to these men on the phone at least once before meeting? This helps you get a clearer picture of who he is and whether or not you want to meet him.
Make sure the conversation is balanced…with questions going back and forth between the two of you. Silly things beyond our control can stall the dating process at the first meet and greet. You could have the same purse as his ex or for some reason he doesn’t like the way you spoke to a waiter.
Women do the same thing…a great guy with bad teeth can be an automatic date stall out.
The advice I share with my private and group coaching clients is this – go on a date viewing it as an opportunity to meet an interesting new person. Have no expectations of where it will lead. Just enjoy his company.
If it leads to him asking you on a second date, it means he’s attracted to you and it’s your choice whether to say yes or no…which, by the way, is why men feel women have all the power. And you do!
It’s wise to be speaking with three or four men at the same time so when a coffee date goes nowhere, you can chalk it up to just not being compatible and move on to someone else.
I would love to answer the questions you have about your dating challenges in this column. Just click the button below to ask yours.
Until next time~
Believing in You!
P.S. Whenever you are ready, here are four ways I can help you find love after 50
#1: Get a copy of my book The Winning Dating Formula on Amazon
Where I will walk you through a step-by-step breakdown of the exact tools and strategies you need for attracting the right man into your life — Click here
#2: Join the Finding Love after 50 Facebook group
It’s our Facebook community where you can connect with me and a community of women ready to support you on your journey for finding love after 50 — Click here
#3: Work with me 1-on-1 or in my Group Program
I would love to learn more about your dating journey, understand where you might be stuck, and give you a personalized step-by-step blueprint to attract the right man. And maybe even talk about how we can work together.
If you are interested in learning more about how I can help, you can Click here to answer a few quick questions and schedule a call.
#4: Subscribe to my YouTube Channel
Click here to explore my YouTube channel for valuable tips on dating and relationships after 50! Discover insights that will empower you to attract the right partner with confidence.
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