Dear Lisa…Help I Really Screwed Up!

 

Hi Lisa,

I’ve liked a guy for years now. He is in my workplace. I’m fine as long as I don’t see him. Then when I see him even once in a blue moon, and he does something sweet like ask me how I am in a genuine kind of way, I become obsessed and can’t stop thinking about him.

I even fantasize about our wedding! Which is ridiculous. But I would really love to marry this guy. Why am I so unwell? When I’m around guys I like- I can’t really keep it together.

Maybe it’s a body like rather than a total person like as I’ve heard you mention in the past.

It sounds like I’m a young person right? I’m 40.

Signed off,

Exhausted

 

Exhausted,

What’s going on is you’re creating imaginary stories including a imaginary wedding with a man you don’t even know.  Unless he’s given you an indication that he’s interested in dating you, it’s time to move on.

Get busy with activities you love doing.  Also go out and date lots of men.  If you’re always dating, you won’t have the time or energy to focus on just one man especially when he’s a fantasy one.

If you find that dating doesn’t stop the obsession then it’s time to get help from a therapist who can work with you to discover the underlying causes for becoming so focused on one man.  Good luck to you!

 

 

Dear Lisa,

Once you’ve had sex with a man but then stopped in order to get out of the “friends with benefits” situation… then what?  I did this with the one I love, but now he is getting tired of waiting to get sex again and he is seeing someone else.  What can I do?  Blanca

 

Blanca,

Women are rarely the winners in a “friends with benefits” situation.  Why?  Because you usually end up emotionally bonding with a man while he doesn’t bond with you.  You are the one who falls in love and ends up getting hurt.

If this man was interested in pursuing a real relationship with you that included a connection through your heart, mind and body he would have done so already.

The fact that he’s moved on means he never saw you this way.

And like most women, there’s a good chance you thought that by being there for him including physically, he’d see how great you are and change his mind about the relationship he’d want with you.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way.  That’s why it’s wise to be a man’s friend without the benefits unless the two of you talk and agree on taking things to the next level.

Let him go… He’s moved on and so should you by dating other men.

If he comes back when he breaks up with this woman, be his friend but don’t be his “booty call” by resuming anything physical or you’ll end up getting hurt again.

 

 

Hi Lisa,

I was on an internet casual first meeting the other night and there really wasn’t great interest on either part.

I try to be gracious when this happens and just simply have a conversation.  He had been looking at the younger women with long blond hair so I called his attention to a group of women on the other end who were 50+.  He said they all looked like grandma’s (which we ARE) but it got me thinking.

How do we look “hot” and comfortable too?  How do we outwardly say “we still got it” in a public place without neon lights?  Thanks Lisa. Jan

 

 

Jan,

When you find you’re not feeling it on a meet and greet, you don’t have to stay and make nice with a man.  Finish your drink and say, “It was nice meeting you. I have to go.”

For some reason, we think we need to make it okay for a guy.  It’s time now to make it okay for YOU.

Give him a hug and say goodbye and get yourself back online and find a guy you think could be a great match for you.

It’s time to try out some new types of men because even though you are over 50, you do still have it… You’re just dating men who don’t appreciate how wonderful you are.

Look, I know it’s hard to go out with a guy that looks kind of nerdy in a picture, but you might find once you meet and bond with him, he starts looking like George Clooney to you.

See if you can give a nice guy a chance.

You never know… In real life there could be a spark.

He’ll also make a better boyfriend who will want to do nothing more than make you happy. And isn’t that what you want – a man who will absolutely love and cherish you?

There’s a secret to dating over 50.  I’d love to share it with you. Why don’t you take a moment and schedule your Complimentary Find Your Soul Mate Discovery Session today?

Let’s see if we’re a fit to work together so we can get you out there dating the men you want to date and finding the relationship with that special man you’ve wanted to meet.

Until next time~

Believing in You!

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P.S. Whenever you are ready, here are four ways I can help you find love after 50

#1: Get a copy of my book The Winning Dating Formula on Amazon



Where I will walk you through a step-by-step breakdown of the exact tools and strategies you need for attracting the right man into your life — Click here

#2: Join the Finding Love after 50 Facebook group

It’s our Facebook community where you can connect with me and a community of women ready to support you on your journey for finding love after 50 — Click here

#3: Work with me 1-on-1 or in my Group Program

I would love to learn more about your dating journey, understand where you might be stuck, and give you a personalized step-by-step blueprint to attract the right man. And maybe even talk about how we can work together.

If you are interested in learning more about how I can help, you can Click here to answer a few quick questions and schedule a call.

#4: Subscribe to my YouTube Channel

Click here to explore my YouTube channel for valuable tips on dating and relationships after 50! Discover insights that will empower you to attract the right partner with confidence.

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On March 13, 2013   /   Dating Advice Over 50, Uncategorized