After a long hiatus from a relationship while finishing raising my son, I have just re-entered dating at over 50. When I was younger so much was determined by a man’s appearance and ability to make a decent living. It is quite new to be meeting older men who look like my father or even grandfather! The attraction isn’t there right from the beginning, but it can and does grow through connection and relationship. I used to think that men over 50 dating women 20 years their junior was so shallow and immature. Now I understand that we look like their mothers or grandmothers and attraction is different now. I also know that a relationship based on attraction is not sustainable..
I recognize that I need new dating tools as I have no true understanding for dating older men as an older woman. I have also become independent and able to take care of myself financially while a man still has the need to provide and protect to feel like a real man. How do I go back to the time and place of depending on someone when I don’t need to anymore? Will I need to “act” in a certain way that is inauthentic to the capable woman I am to be in a relationship and not emasculate a man? You can see how much I have to learn! LOL
June 23, 2015 at 9:48 am
Noquay
Gena
Men who think they’re exclusive and demand the same of you after very few dates are kind of a red flag, especially one that wanted to get married immediately. It kinda speaks of desperation and/or an inability of the guy to be happy on his own. At this point, you are literally strangers. I have no problem with committing, as that is what I am on line for, but developing a bond and learning who the other person is takes time; no shortcuts. When you jump back into dating, you should meet many men at first; not necessarily be choosing “the one”.
Jenna
We chix who are not meeting with/sleeping with men solely for validation/attention often, quite literally, cannot have sex with men we aren’t attracted to. The sites I am on, usually it’s one in 40-50 men that are attractive, both physically and by what is in their profile. There are men that one is attracted to but are otherwise totally incompatible and there are men one finds attractive and your values mesh. Met two men the past two weekends; one attractive, tall (I am tallish for a woman), fit yet his life is a train wreck. His entire working life is a series of menial, insecure jobs, at 60, he is where most 25 year old men are in life. Retirement plans totally unrealistic. I’d be a 100% meal ticket. Pass. The other did lie about his height and body, also does multiple odd jobs, but works hard and has his feet firmly in reality. Will go on a couple more dates but if there’s still no attraction, Sayonara. Sadly, many older men simply do not take care of themselves and more sadly, made life’s decisions that today, do not make them good relationship prospects. We women who planned carefully, take good care of ourselves in all ways, shouldn’t be expected to pay the price of someone else’s actions from decades ago.
June 22, 2015 at 8:48 pm
Bloomingdale 316
I met a man. The chemistry could have ignited the room. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before. We were engaged in serious passion by our fourth meeting. We slept together on our sixth. Three and a half years later, the flames still ignite the room. I’d never have beleived it if I hadn’t experienced it for myself. You just have to trust your inner voice. Pay close attention to it.
I have been with a man for over Five years and we hit it off from the start. I was not looking for marriage but now I am I want more so I am going to part ways with him, I am dateing now and most of the men want to get married soon after we go out but I don’t want to rush into it,just to be married.
July 3, 2015 at 5:56 pm
Kelly
After a long hiatus from a relationship while finishing raising my son, I have just re-entered dating at over 50. When I was younger so much was determined by a man’s appearance and ability to make a decent living. It is quite new to be meeting older men who look like my father or even grandfather! The attraction isn’t there right from the beginning, but it can and does grow through connection and relationship. I used to think that men over 50 dating women 20 years their junior was so shallow and immature. Now I understand that we look like their mothers or grandmothers and attraction is different now. I also know that a relationship based on attraction is not sustainable..
I recognize that I need new dating tools as I have no true understanding for dating older men as an older woman. I have also become independent and able to take care of myself financially while a man still has the need to provide and protect to feel like a real man. How do I go back to the time and place of depending on someone when I don’t need to anymore? Will I need to “act” in a certain way that is inauthentic to the capable woman I am to be in a relationship and not emasculate a man? You can see how much I have to learn! LOL
June 23, 2015 at 9:48 am
Noquay
Gena
Men who think they’re exclusive and demand the same of you after very few dates are kind of a red flag, especially one that wanted to get married immediately. It kinda speaks of desperation and/or an inability of the guy to be happy on his own. At this point, you are literally strangers. I have no problem with committing, as that is what I am on line for, but developing a bond and learning who the other person is takes time; no shortcuts. When you jump back into dating, you should meet many men at first; not necessarily be choosing “the one”.
Jenna
We chix who are not meeting with/sleeping with men solely for validation/attention often, quite literally, cannot have sex with men we aren’t attracted to. The sites I am on, usually it’s one in 40-50 men that are attractive, both physically and by what is in their profile. There are men that one is attracted to but are otherwise totally incompatible and there are men one finds attractive and your values mesh. Met two men the past two weekends; one attractive, tall (I am tallish for a woman), fit yet his life is a train wreck. His entire working life is a series of menial, insecure jobs, at 60, he is where most 25 year old men are in life. Retirement plans totally unrealistic. I’d be a 100% meal ticket. Pass. The other did lie about his height and body, also does multiple odd jobs, but works hard and has his feet firmly in reality. Will go on a couple more dates but if there’s still no attraction, Sayonara. Sadly, many older men simply do not take care of themselves and more sadly, made life’s decisions that today, do not make them good relationship prospects. We women who planned carefully, take good care of ourselves in all ways, shouldn’t be expected to pay the price of someone else’s actions from decades ago.
June 22, 2015 at 8:48 pm
Bloomingdale 316
I met a man. The chemistry could have ignited the room. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before. We were engaged in serious passion by our fourth meeting. We slept together on our sixth. Three and a half years later, the flames still ignite the room. I’d never have beleived it if I hadn’t experienced it for myself. You just have to trust your inner voice. Pay close attention to it.
June 22, 2015 at 8:35 pm
Yolanda
I have been with a man for over Five years and we hit it off from the start. I was not looking for marriage but now I am I want more so I am going to part ways with him, I am dateing now and most of the men want to get married soon after we go out but I don’t want to rush into it,just to be married.