Lisa,
I have been divorced for a year and a half. I still don’t feel comfortable even looking for someone. I would like to go out and be with someone but not a relationship. How would I go about finding someone who just wants to be friends?
April 7, 2014 at 4:57 pm
Noquay
This past year, I have said a resounding “NO” to no less than 5, count em 5, local men that were financially irresponsible. Generally dudes that felt like retiring early, then found out that wasn’t going to work and now they are too old for the job market, do not want to leave to find work elsewhere, or are just plain looking for a meal ticket. One of these gems actually invited me to a lunch date which turned out to be at the local charity meals, put on by a church for those folks who GENUINELY need them. I am someone very responsible with a serious work ethic who supports four households and takes care of an elderly parent. The last thing I want is to finance someone else’s ski bum habit. Yep, these guys may be available as to time, but none of them wanted anything to do with helping to run my farm, do housework, or stop skiing so they can find a job and pay their fair share. Yep, someone obsessed with career is problematic but someone obsessed with wanting a meal ticket is also a problem. one needs to find a financially responsible man who is also present emotionally and is OK with ones lifestyle.
April 7, 2014 at 2:49 pm
Terri
I just ended a long-term and very tumultous relationship with a life-long bachelor who had made his career his NO. 1 priority his entire life. Money was certainly NO OBJECT for this man and he bought the best of everything for himself (and sometimes for me). As nice as this was, after having been married to a man who didn’t earn half as much, it was extremely lacking in the type of emotional intimacy and trustworthy companionship that I finally realized I wanted and needed more so. However, I think this is a very personal question that every woman should ask herself. I know some women who are actually quite happy with an emotionally detached relationship, as long as their creature comforts are met and there’s financial security offered.
Money comes and goes. Love, true friendship, trust and kindness are a very rare find. When you find those things — don’t let go, money or not!
April 7, 2014 at 3:49 pm
Lisa
Wonderful words of wisdom Terri. Thank you for sharing your story. And you are right…every woman has to decide what is important to her and what her number one priority is for being happy in a relationship. Sounds like yours is a man who is emotionally there for you versus buying someone else to be there for you.
Comments are closed.
By browsing this website, you agree to our privacy policy.
April 11, 2014 at 11:34 am
Mary
Lisa,
I have been divorced for a year and a half. I still don’t feel comfortable even looking for someone. I would like to go out and be with someone but not a relationship. How would I go about finding someone who just wants to be friends?
April 7, 2014 at 4:57 pm
Noquay
This past year, I have said a resounding “NO” to no less than 5, count em 5, local men that were financially irresponsible. Generally dudes that felt like retiring early, then found out that wasn’t going to work and now they are too old for the job market, do not want to leave to find work elsewhere, or are just plain looking for a meal ticket. One of these gems actually invited me to a lunch date which turned out to be at the local charity meals, put on by a church for those folks who GENUINELY need them. I am someone very responsible with a serious work ethic who supports four households and takes care of an elderly parent. The last thing I want is to finance someone else’s ski bum habit. Yep, these guys may be available as to time, but none of them wanted anything to do with helping to run my farm, do housework, or stop skiing so they can find a job and pay their fair share. Yep, someone obsessed with career is problematic but someone obsessed with wanting a meal ticket is also a problem. one needs to find a financially responsible man who is also present emotionally and is OK with ones lifestyle.
April 7, 2014 at 2:49 pm
Terri
I just ended a long-term and very tumultous relationship with a life-long bachelor who had made his career his NO. 1 priority his entire life. Money was certainly NO OBJECT for this man and he bought the best of everything for himself (and sometimes for me). As nice as this was, after having been married to a man who didn’t earn half as much, it was extremely lacking in the type of emotional intimacy and trustworthy companionship that I finally realized I wanted and needed more so. However, I think this is a very personal question that every woman should ask herself. I know some women who are actually quite happy with an emotionally detached relationship, as long as their creature comforts are met and there’s financial security offered.
Money comes and goes. Love, true friendship, trust and kindness are a very rare find. When you find those things — don’t let go, money or not!
April 7, 2014 at 3:49 pm
Lisa
Wonderful words of wisdom Terri. Thank you for sharing your story. And you are right…every woman has to decide what is important to her and what her number one priority is for being happy in a relationship. Sounds like yours is a man who is emotionally there for you versus buying someone else to be there for you.