Dear Lisa…Am I Having Sex Too Early In The Game?
Dear Lisa,
I hear men like a challenge and don’t like women that are easy to get! Is this really true? Nancy
Nancy,
The answer to your question is YES and NO.
Men are happy to oblige a woman interested in just having sex, which, by the way, is fine.
Sometimes you just need that hormonal fix.
But, when you have sex early on, as in a first or second date, you are sending him the message that you might be doing this with other men too.
And that can be a huge turn off to a man, possibly preventing him from creating a long-term relationship with you.
In fact, having sex too early in the game can be a reason for not hearing from a man again.
For you, once you have sex with a man, there’s a good chance you’ll bond with him.
It doesn’t mean he will bond with you.
Most men over 50 are looking for a long-term relationship with a special woman that begins with a solid friendship that leads to physical intimacy.
If you find a man you really like – who you think would make a great partner for you – be patient and WAIT to have sex with him until you’ve gotten to know each other. And have talked about creating an exclusive relationship together.
Dear Lisa,
I’ve heard not to let a man wait once he writes to you, as he can be getting emails from other women. Is there a process I’m supposed to being doing? Nan
Nan,
If a man writes to you, it means he’s interested in you.
Don’t make him wait beyond a day.
It makes you appear not interested or serious about dating and finding the relationship you want.
It’s also likely he’s interested in a couple of woman and has written to each one waiting to see who writes him back.
I guarantee if you don’t write back, someone else will.
So if you like what you see, write back as soon as you can and see if something is there for you with this man.
Dear Lisa,
Why do men our age seem to only want younger women? Alice
Alice,
I’ve spoken to a lot of over 50’s men about this issue.
There is a history that Baby Boomers share that a younger woman won’t have an awareness of.
Men have told me they missed this when they’ve dated younger women and found it difficult after a while to relate to what younger women were interested in.
They have also shared with me that what made them go to younger women was the lack of appreciation from women our age.
They’ve learned that younger women who have experienced far less in life appreciate what these older men do for them.
They also found younger women were far less critical of how they acted as a man.
So if a Boomer man is what you want in your life, it’s a good idea to appreciate what he does for you… even when it’s not exactly what you really wanted.
Decide whether you can accept this Boomer man for who he is. Men think women always want to change them.
This not the best way to start a relationship.
It’s wiser to just let him go and find someone else who’s more suited to what you really want in a man.
Until next time~
Believing in You!
P.S. Whenever you are ready, here are four ways I can help you find love after 50
#1: Get a copy of my book The Winning Dating Formula on Amazon
Where I will walk you through a step-by-step breakdown of the exact tools and strategies you need for attracting the right man into your life — Click here
#2: Join the Finding Love after 50 Facebook group
It’s our Facebook community where you can connect with me and a community of women ready to support you on your journey for finding love after 50 — Click here
#3: Work with me 1-on-1 or in my Group Program
I would love to learn more about your dating journey, understand where you might be stuck, and give you a personalized step-by-step blueprint to attract the right man. And maybe even talk about how we can work together.
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#4: Subscribe to my YouTube Channel
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Dear Lisa: Once you had sex with a man but then stopped in order to get out of the “friends with benefits” situation…then what? I did this with the one I love, but now he is getting tired of waiting to get sex again and he is seeing someone else. What can I do?
Blanca
Let him go. He’s Narcissistic and all about him and you really want someone who is all about you and the relationship. Good Luck! Lisa
Dear Lisa,
Thank you so much for sending me very good cases here. I really like all of your advise to them. So far I have faced these challenges too and I really need to know how to deal with these chellenges. Now I got from you and I am so exited to learn from you here. It really helpful to me.
God Bless You,
Soun
Soun, You are so welcome. Glad I’ve been of help to you. Let me know if there are more topics you’d like to see more about. Lisa
Ladies – from just one guy’s perspective, while I think it can be this way – if you are earlybirds the key is what happens the following weeks. It happened with me and a terrific months-long relationship followed with lots of the positives – mutual time commitments amid hectic ‘sandwich’ generation schedules. Give it a shot – but bail if it doesn’t followthrough with no regrets. I trust that most readers can read a player… and if you take him, enjoy the moment but there may not be more. Nonplayers who have a major first connection – at our age it is not the same negative (do you think?) as looking for a lifelong-raise family years partner.
Tom, As always I enjoy your insights. The men I’ve spoken with…and I’ve interviewed quite a few of them, have shared that if they want a true relationship, they are willing to wait. But, if a woman wants to have sex on that first date…they are fine with it but it usually means it’s going to stop right there. Would love to hear more of your thoughts. Lisa
I would agree that a leathered lack of appreciation from “women our age” is true. Its not that guys can’t take this once every few days/weeks – it’s just that it can get chronic. Post-split for me, certainly I could have benefited from the mantra of 3:1 positive over negative comments….ladies pinch each other here too and your guys. The planet will be happier!
also on the last comment – clearly the qualifier “some women our age” is most appropriate, just like “some men our age” are deserving…
Hi Lisa; I just want to thank you for all you emails with the nuggets of advice. I am 45 and divorced after being with him 24 years. When i 1st contacted you -you said your advice was still good for me and you were right! The men that take an interest in me have all been in their early 50’s. I like their maturity and manners though they do seem to talk down to me a little and I am very mature for my age(friends and clients tell me) and I feel i am smart as well. So how do I handle that without offending them and not being myself?
Lisa – thanks. This link below is not too related… except for the realtime, Great Recession-induced situations and mindsets most men like me find ourselves in encountering dating post50s; however I am sharing as fodder for another blog topic. The Aussies are nice and blunt – not seeing much discussion on these realities in the US media!
http://www.afr.com/p/national/arts_saleroom/few_attractions_for_older_divorced_ZrGQLmBxUWOZHMfd4LebSN
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