Interesting article. In my case, I am single and 58. I have always been single and haven’t dated in over 20 years. So, this is not a time to relish or rediscover myself. I have spent far too much time on myself! In my case, I’ve lost that zest for life. I’ve read countless articles on dating over 50 — gaining confidence, self-love, etc.. But, for me, I haven’t met a single, quality man in so long. I think my focus is on accepting the loneliness that comes with this stage of my life.
Not to be a downer, just a practical assessment. Not everyone is coming out of a marriage with kids that relishes the time to rediscover.
September 24, 2017 at 6:22 pm
Lisa
Hi Liz…I’ve found that there are a lot of quality men out there. The problem is, most women can’t see them. That comes from defining men using chemistry and specific qualities versus values and how you want to feel around him. This is the most important piece for finding love and its something I teach everyday to women. I hope you will reach out if you want to know more. You really can find love. You just have to know where to look. Lots of hugs to you!
September 21, 2017 at 8:18 am
Noquay
Lisa
Thanks for writing this. After being overlapped/cheated on at the end of my last rship, which was incredibly devastating, I’ve really done some introspection:
1. Since I live in a rural area and compatible, values sharing men are a minimum of 100 miles away, being cheated upon, ghosted, etc is almost a given. Therefore, I am trying to find community that is environmentally and outdoor oriented yet allows me to live my lifestyle, a mix of high outdoor activity yet being very cultured. Remaining here will always limit my rship options to staying alone or settling for the totally incompatible or accepting a high likelihood of heartbreak.
2. Having no living family and family, unfortunately, never being a source of support means I work hard seeking like minded and like valued folk
3. As a serious older athlete, until I can relocate, focusing on increasing/maintaining fitness is the best way to cope with disappointment, loneliness, constant frustration
4. Focusing on job alternatives, selling off another property, preparing the house here for sale come Spring are also ways of coping and retaining a sense of control.
5. Again, due to location and perhaps my race (s), and that sadly, most 50-70 men on line in this state are unhealthy, less educated, and often financially precarious, on line is going to be disappointing and not to take it personally. Can’t control demographics.
6. Although I really need the high salary to retire, my current job is very stressful, unfulfilling plus the situation is steadily worsening; time for a change
I guess overall, despite a lot of stuff in life going horribly wrong over the past year, my way to cope with loneliness as despair is to focus on that which I can control and let go of those things which I have no power over.
September 24, 2017 at 6:27 pm
Lisa
Love the process you went through Noquay. And you are so right. the only thing we have control over is how we react. Keep up the great work and I hope it won’t be long before you can move to an area that bring you happiness. Lots of hugs~
September 20, 2017 at 12:07 am
Raa
Awesome! Thanks for great advise lisa ..
Love and hug you back
September 20, 2017 at 8:21 am
Lisa
Your so welcome! So appreciate you letting me know. Hugs to you~
September 19, 2017 at 6:55 pm
Sherry Williams
I agree totally. It isn’t the total answer but it helps now! Now is when it is most important. I walk, I get to see others on the beautiful lake trail or beach when I walk n smiling n telling them Good Morning makes me feel great. I draw n plan other projects n feel so good when I share them with friends. I give my grandson 1 or 2 days a week, he is 2, we have such fun together. I still envy the couples who walk hand in hand,stealing a quick kiss from time to time…butGod has a plan, my plan, and I m alot more “marketable” a smiling, happy lady who leads a busy life than I would b if I appeared to b sad and worried waiting on someone…be happy everyone, it is your best beauty feature…
September 19, 2017 at 9:19 pm
Lisa
Awesome Sherry! Enjoy you…that’s what its all about! Hugs~
September 19, 2017 at 5:40 pm
Fern
Dear Lisa
Thank you soo much for your post.I read them with great appreciation.All you write is true I lived it and taught I was way to emotional.I have been a widow for 3 years. I understand better now.💚
September 19, 2017 at 5:52 pm
Lisa
Thank you Fern. Love helping women find self love. Its tremendously empowering and it brings out the Unique You. Let me know the steps you do and how they work out. Lots of hugs to you!
September 22, 2017 at 8:38 pm
Liz Charles
Interesting article. In my case, I am single and 58. I have always been single and haven’t dated in over 20 years. So, this is not a time to relish or rediscover myself. I have spent far too much time on myself! In my case, I’ve lost that zest for life. I’ve read countless articles on dating over 50 — gaining confidence, self-love, etc.. But, for me, I haven’t met a single, quality man in so long. I think my focus is on accepting the loneliness that comes with this stage of my life.
Not to be a downer, just a practical assessment. Not everyone is coming out of a marriage with kids that relishes the time to rediscover.
September 24, 2017 at 6:22 pm
Lisa
Hi Liz…I’ve found that there are a lot of quality men out there. The problem is, most women can’t see them. That comes from defining men using chemistry and specific qualities versus values and how you want to feel around him. This is the most important piece for finding love and its something I teach everyday to women. I hope you will reach out if you want to know more. You really can find love. You just have to know where to look. Lots of hugs to you!
September 21, 2017 at 8:18 am
Noquay
Lisa
Thanks for writing this. After being overlapped/cheated on at the end of my last rship, which was incredibly devastating, I’ve really done some introspection:
1. Since I live in a rural area and compatible, values sharing men are a minimum of 100 miles away, being cheated upon, ghosted, etc is almost a given. Therefore, I am trying to find community that is environmentally and outdoor oriented yet allows me to live my lifestyle, a mix of high outdoor activity yet being very cultured. Remaining here will always limit my rship options to staying alone or settling for the totally incompatible or accepting a high likelihood of heartbreak.
2. Having no living family and family, unfortunately, never being a source of support means I work hard seeking like minded and like valued folk
3. As a serious older athlete, until I can relocate, focusing on increasing/maintaining fitness is the best way to cope with disappointment, loneliness, constant frustration
4. Focusing on job alternatives, selling off another property, preparing the house here for sale come Spring are also ways of coping and retaining a sense of control.
5. Again, due to location and perhaps my race (s), and that sadly, most 50-70 men on line in this state are unhealthy, less educated, and often financially precarious, on line is going to be disappointing and not to take it personally. Can’t control demographics.
6. Although I really need the high salary to retire, my current job is very stressful, unfulfilling plus the situation is steadily worsening; time for a change
I guess overall, despite a lot of stuff in life going horribly wrong over the past year, my way to cope with loneliness as despair is to focus on that which I can control and let go of those things which I have no power over.
September 24, 2017 at 6:27 pm
Lisa
Love the process you went through Noquay. And you are so right. the only thing we have control over is how we react. Keep up the great work and I hope it won’t be long before you can move to an area that bring you happiness. Lots of hugs~
September 20, 2017 at 12:07 am
Raa
Awesome! Thanks for great advise lisa ..
Love and hug you back
September 20, 2017 at 8:21 am
Lisa
Your so welcome! So appreciate you letting me know. Hugs to you~
September 19, 2017 at 6:55 pm
Sherry Williams
I agree totally. It isn’t the total answer but it helps now! Now is when it is most important. I walk, I get to see others on the beautiful lake trail or beach when I walk n smiling n telling them Good Morning makes me feel great. I draw n plan other projects n feel so good when I share them with friends. I give my grandson 1 or 2 days a week, he is 2, we have such fun together. I still envy the couples who walk hand in hand,stealing a quick kiss from time to time…butGod has a plan, my plan, and I m alot more “marketable” a smiling, happy lady who leads a busy life than I would b if I appeared to b sad and worried waiting on someone…be happy everyone, it is your best beauty feature…
September 19, 2017 at 9:19 pm
Lisa
Awesome Sherry! Enjoy you…that’s what its all about! Hugs~
September 19, 2017 at 5:40 pm
Fern
Dear Lisa
Thank you soo much for your post.I read them with great appreciation.All you write is true I lived it and taught I was way to emotional.I have been a widow for 3 years. I understand better now.💚
September 19, 2017 at 5:52 pm
Lisa
Thank you Fern. Love helping women find self love. Its tremendously empowering and it brings out the Unique You. Let me know the steps you do and how they work out. Lots of hugs to you!