Can you trust men again after 50?
You can read the blog below or watch it on YouTube by clicking here.
Were you ever betrayed by a man you’d trusted with your heart and soul?
When this happens, it can be so painful and it can shake you to your core causing you to not only doubt your ability to pick the right partner, but it can also skew your overall judgement about men, dating and relationships.
The emotions that come up for you – like feeling ashamed for not noticing the signs sooner, or the anger you feel for allowing someone into your life who eventually caused you so much pain and heartache – can lead you to questioning your instincts while creating fear and hesitancy when it comes to trusting men again.
Now you feel like the only way to protect yourself, is to make men jump through hoops so you never get hurt again.
On a date, you focus on his flaws, determined not to be deceived again or you go out there looking for someone who is perfect (all this does is leave you single and lonely for love because perfect doesn’t exist).
These types of actions create a barrier that keeps you from forming the genuine connection you really want with a good man.
That’s why today, I want to share three steps you can take to help you rebuild trust in both men and yourself so you can make that dream of a fulfilling relationship with a good man come true.
Step #1: Healing and Forgiving
When you’ve been hurt, you want to take enough time to heal and reconnect with yourself.
It can be hard to acknowledge that you might have unintentionally attracted someone who wasn’t good for you.
Yet recognizing this (without judging or putting yourself down) is the first step towards healing your heart.
The next step comes from forgiveness – especially of yourself.
For this, I recommend a practice called Ho’oponopono.
The practice of Ho’oponopono is transformational, and you can learn more about it by clicking here.
The story of how it came about is amazing and powerful!
The process involves repeating these four simple sentences while focusing on forgiving yourself and the person who hurt you.
– I love you.
– I’m sorry.
– Please forgive me.
– Thank you.
When I do this with clients, I have them put their hands over their heart and repeat these sentences 4 times or until they feel the negative emotions release.
Holding onto the anger you have for yourself or for someone from your past keeps you emotionally tied to that pain (which keeps you more connected with that person) and it hinders your ability to move forward.
But I get it – sometimes, letting go of negative feelings can be challenging.
If Ho’oponopono doesn’t bring the relief you seek, reach out to a counselor or therapist.
Professional support can be invaluable in helping you release any negative emotions you’re holding onto, and can pave the way for healthier relationships to come to you in the future.
Step #2: Recognizing There Are Good Men Out There For You
It’s important to remember that because one man hurt you doesn’t mean all men will.
To help my clients overcome their fears about trusting men again, I teach them to use a tool called the “Trust Glasses.”
When you wear what I call the “Grey Stormy” Trust Glasses, you’re viewing a man through a lens of distrust assuming he will hurt you.
This can lead you to losing out on a genuine connection with a potential partner who might be perfect for you but you were afraid to give him a chance.
Instead, I encourage you to wear what I call the “Turquoise Glasses.”
These glasses are like a calm ocean where you can see beautiful fish swimming close to the surface, yet you can also see any dangers that might be lurking under your feet.
By wearing them, you can go on a date simply to observe and take your time getting to know a man without any expectations about the outcome.
Rather than making him jump through hoops, view the date as an opportunity to meet someone new and interesting and focus on finding three positive qualities about him instead of looking for his flaws to protect yourself.
Step #3: Truly Listen to What a Man Is Telling You
If a man shares stories about having cheated on a previous partner, take it as a serious red flag.
You might think he’s being vulnerable and would never do this if he truly loves you, but this is flawed thinking that can lead to you getting hurt.
Don’t skip over red flags men share in their conversations and in their actions.
Men mean what they say, so it’s important to listen carefully.
When you do, you’ll be able to trust your instincts and make decisions that are best for you.
Healing your heart and learning to trust again is a journey.
It’s normal to feel a mix of shame, anger, and self-doubt after experiencing betrayal.
It’s ok to be cautious, but try not to let fear close you off from future opportunities for love.
The steps I shared with you today – healing and forgiving, shifting your perspective using the Trust Glasses, and truly listening to men – will help you rebuild your confidence.
Trusting again takes time, but with patience and self-compassion, you can create the future you envision with a good man.
Remember, you deserve love and you have the strength to find it again.
Now to inspire you love after 50 is possible!
I can’t believe it but I’m over 60 and in a GREAT RELATIONSHIP!
I started my journey with Lisa 9 months ago with little hope of finding a man who could be interested in me. Lisa helped me regain my self esteem and self confidence, helped me work through my feelings of anger, sadness, guilt and my fears which were preventing me from letting go of the past and from progressing on my new mission. I worked hard, her program was very useful in helping me define the type of man who would suit me best and bring me happiness. Here I am today in a great relationship! Many thanks Lisa for all your help!!! Carole, Montreal
If creating a life together with a good man is something you’ve wanted, reply YES to this email and we’ll figure out the best way to get you the tools and support Carole used to find love again in her life after 50.
Believing in You!
P.S. Whenever you are ready, here are four ways I can help you find love after 50
#1: Get a copy of my book The Winning Dating Formula on Amazon
Where I will walk you through a step-by-step breakdown of the exact tools and strategies you need for attracting the right man into your life — Click here
#2: Join the Finding Love after 50 Facebook group
It’s our Facebook community where you can connect with me and a community of women ready to support you on your journey for finding love after 50 — Click here
#3: Work with me 1-on-1 or in my Group Program
I would love to learn more about your dating journey, understand where you might be stuck, and give you a personalized step-by-step blueprint to attract the right man. And maybe even talk about how we can work together.
If you are interested in learning more about how I can help, you can Click here to answer a few quick questions and schedule a call.
#4: Subscribe to my YouTube Channel
Click here to explore my YouTube channel for valuable tips on dating and relationships after 50! Discover insights that will empower you to attract the right partner with confidence.
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