I think that somehow the dating pool needs an overhaul. The men I am interested in meeting are either rebounding from hurt whether it’s the realization that they are the age they are and younger women eventually are interested in their checkbook or they refuse to Trade for the same model. In any case, this reality makes them feel they can behave badly because it was done to them. This puts wounded and bruised egos back into the pool and the cycle continues.
February 10, 2020 at 3:27 pm
Lisa
Dixie…I hear your frustration but there are men out there who do love women our age. They may try younger women but often find they have nothing in common and come back to women in their 50’s, 60’s and 70’s. Your power in the dating world comes from knowing exactly who you want. In my community, my clients create Quality Man Templates to help them get a crystal clear vision of who the right man is for them at this time in their life versus looking for the man they looked for in their 20’s. Also having a good grip on the language men speak and hear helps too.
February 7, 2020 at 8:52 pm
Margaret
Feb. 7, 2020 Dear Lisa: I appreciate the emails from you very much.
I am 74 and lost my mate. I am currently looking at POF (a free Vancouver, BC Canada website) after NO replies and NO offers from men on Zoosk. I lost over $80 and what I got for the money was the opportunity to spend my time and look at a lot of really ugly men. Many have revolting beards they seem quite pleased with. A couple I have seen say they don’t want ANYTHING. One I met through an ad I put on craigslist was very nice but wanted to get right at sex after a dinner. Are all the men who are 70 and older still operating like that? (if I even meet up with more). Just apathetic or sex predators?
I have to admit I am somewhat guilty of wanting the attraction. But to be honest, I find most men our age think they should be dating women in their 30’s. They post in their site the age range they are looking for and it is always younger than the, and rarely even includes their age. They also start conversations and then disappear. I am so tired of dating sites and trying to find available men of a certain age. It’s exhausting.
February 7, 2020 at 8:57 am
Lisa
Yes it can be Diane. Have you tried meeting men in real life?
February 9, 2020 at 10:44 pm
Dixie
I agree! I know and am proud of how I have aged. I’m not interested in someone who isn’t age appropriate but there has to be something that draws my attention. What good is it to know what we want and then not be selective to our needs? I just can’t do any port in a storm. Yes, I’m on a dating site so I am relationship ready but know upfront I will be looking from the 1% pool.
February 6, 2020 at 5:35 pm
Mary
Of course I would love to meet someone who is a great guy inside .. and a compatible and loving companion for life, however I can’t settle for someone who makes my skin “crawl “ no matter how nice he is .. I’m an attractive women and I expect to find the same in a Partner .. I’m not looking for the most handsome man or a charmer ..but I am looking for parody in appearance.. I’m so weary of reading how women in their fifties need to be less selective and get past appearance .. that to me is settling.. I’m certain men wouldn’t be interested in a woman they didn’t find attractive either .. no matter how kind, smart, sweet, playful or whatever other adjective unless they were attracted to her physically. Let’s please call it how it really is and stop making excuses for men .. they surely don’t give women a break on appearance.
February 7, 2020 at 8:58 am
Lisa
Mary, attraction is important but for a woman as you get to know a man, it can grow. That’s why giving nice men a chance is so important.
February 9, 2020 at 11:02 pm
Dixie
Not only do men my age or older fail to give women over 60 a treatment in kind, they have forgotten how to be polite! Why has “ghosting” become acceptable? It has happened so many times and curiously enough, usually when there’s a stated connection. Is online dating the problem? Has the lure of who may be in your next view so enticing we have forgotten the golden rule? If I know that there are not enough common interests, I will practice how I wish to be treated even though no one likes to hurt someone’s feelings. An honest no, or gently saying that it wouldn’t work for me is something I can live with rather than just disappearing. No wonder all of the wounded seem to be online. I wish honesty was ok.
February 6, 2020 at 5:29 pm
Ellen
Lisa, you nailed it! Yes, I would rather have a quality man who loves me and treats me like a queen, even though he may not be the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. The man I’m with now is just that. He checks off every other requirement on my list—the ones that are truly the most important in the long run. So thank you for this crucial message.
February 9, 2020 at 11:11 pm
Dixie
I think that somehow the dating pool needs an overhaul. The men I am interested in meeting are either rebounding from hurt whether it’s the realization that they are the age they are and younger women eventually are interested in their checkbook or they refuse to Trade for the same model. In any case, this reality makes them feel they can behave badly because it was done to them. This puts wounded and bruised egos back into the pool and the cycle continues.
February 10, 2020 at 3:27 pm
Lisa
Dixie…I hear your frustration but there are men out there who do love women our age. They may try younger women but often find they have nothing in common and come back to women in their 50’s, 60’s and 70’s. Your power in the dating world comes from knowing exactly who you want. In my community, my clients create Quality Man Templates to help them get a crystal clear vision of who the right man is for them at this time in their life versus looking for the man they looked for in their 20’s. Also having a good grip on the language men speak and hear helps too.
February 7, 2020 at 8:52 pm
Margaret
Feb. 7, 2020 Dear Lisa: I appreciate the emails from you very much.
I am 74 and lost my mate. I am currently looking at POF (a free Vancouver, BC Canada website) after NO replies and NO offers from men on Zoosk. I lost over $80 and what I got for the money was the opportunity to spend my time and look at a lot of really ugly men. Many have revolting beards they seem quite pleased with. A couple I have seen say they don’t want ANYTHING. One I met through an ad I put on craigslist was very nice but wanted to get right at sex after a dinner. Are all the men who are 70 and older still operating like that? (if I even meet up with more). Just apathetic or sex predators?
February 6, 2020 at 7:15 pm
Diane
I have to admit I am somewhat guilty of wanting the attraction. But to be honest, I find most men our age think they should be dating women in their 30’s. They post in their site the age range they are looking for and it is always younger than the, and rarely even includes their age. They also start conversations and then disappear. I am so tired of dating sites and trying to find available men of a certain age. It’s exhausting.
February 7, 2020 at 8:57 am
Lisa
Yes it can be Diane. Have you tried meeting men in real life?
February 9, 2020 at 10:44 pm
Dixie
I agree! I know and am proud of how I have aged. I’m not interested in someone who isn’t age appropriate but there has to be something that draws my attention. What good is it to know what we want and then not be selective to our needs? I just can’t do any port in a storm. Yes, I’m on a dating site so I am relationship ready but know upfront I will be looking from the 1% pool.
February 6, 2020 at 5:35 pm
Mary
Of course I would love to meet someone who is a great guy inside .. and a compatible and loving companion for life, however I can’t settle for someone who makes my skin “crawl “ no matter how nice he is .. I’m an attractive women and I expect to find the same in a Partner .. I’m not looking for the most handsome man or a charmer ..but I am looking for parody in appearance.. I’m so weary of reading how women in their fifties need to be less selective and get past appearance .. that to me is settling.. I’m certain men wouldn’t be interested in a woman they didn’t find attractive either .. no matter how kind, smart, sweet, playful or whatever other adjective unless they were attracted to her physically. Let’s please call it how it really is and stop making excuses for men .. they surely don’t give women a break on appearance.
February 7, 2020 at 8:58 am
Lisa
Mary, attraction is important but for a woman as you get to know a man, it can grow. That’s why giving nice men a chance is so important.
February 9, 2020 at 11:02 pm
Dixie
Not only do men my age or older fail to give women over 60 a treatment in kind, they have forgotten how to be polite! Why has “ghosting” become acceptable? It has happened so many times and curiously enough, usually when there’s a stated connection. Is online dating the problem? Has the lure of who may be in your next view so enticing we have forgotten the golden rule? If I know that there are not enough common interests, I will practice how I wish to be treated even though no one likes to hurt someone’s feelings. An honest no, or gently saying that it wouldn’t work for me is something I can live with rather than just disappearing. No wonder all of the wounded seem to be online. I wish honesty was ok.
February 6, 2020 at 5:29 pm
Ellen
Lisa, you nailed it! Yes, I would rather have a quality man who loves me and treats me like a queen, even though he may not be the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. The man I’m with now is just that. He checks off every other requirement on my list—the ones that are truly the most important in the long run. So thank you for this crucial message.
February 7, 2020 at 8:59 am
Lisa
Ellen…love this!!!!!!!