9 Tips To Keep You Safe From The Scammers On Internet Dating Sites
Recently, I heard yet another story of a woman connecting with a scammer on a legitimate dating site. These men are con artists who will find a way to touch your heart and your pocketbook without a second thought.
I don’t want to scare you and cause you to stop going online. There are plenty of good men out there for you to date. But there are certain clues you need to be aware of that will tip you off to potential scammers.
Read through these 9 tips about what scammers tell you, so you’ll be ready to keep yourself safe if one contacts you.
1. They Feed Off The Clues In Your Profile
Don’t mention your income or where you work. You can say you’re a nurse or an executive but don’t mention where or how much you make.
Be aware of sounding needy and lonely in your profile. It makes you perfect prey for scammers looking to hook you into their scams.
2. They Live Outside The US
These men will often say they live in metropolitan cities in the US but their work takes them elsewhere in the world. He tells you he’ll be coming back soon… and, of course, to wait for him because he can’t wait to meet you.
3. Scamming Women Is Their Job
Most of these men are from other countries. Jobs that pay well are scarce. Men there who are willing to con you have learned that in a couple of hours a day, they can easily communicate with women in the US, find their weak spots and make a fortune.
They speak with British accents, something American women easily fall for. It’s sounds romantic to us. These men know this and use it.
4. What They Tell You About Themselves
Usually they will tell you they were born in England to a British mother and Italian father.
They give themselves romantic names like Valentino and Antonio.
They will send you pictures of themselves (like the one above) and they’re usually drop dead gorgeous. Look closely at these pictures. They are often shots of handsome models posing in hats, sunglasses, holding products like beer or wine standing in front of tall buildings in metropolitan cities, or standing by expensive cars.
Sometimes the men in the picture don’t even consistently look the same from shot to shot.
The pictures they send are model shots easily found on the internet.
They might send you family pictures of children or grandchildren. Rarely are they in the picture with them. This is a huge tip off.
5. They Use Romance
We love romance and these men use it by sending you the most beautiful poems you’ve ever heard. They get these from the internet as well.
6. What They Talk About
As you chat for hours every day, scammers will find your weak spot. If you’ve lost a close member of your family, don’t be surprised if they tell you they have too.
They use holes in your heart to get you to trust them. We bond easily with people who have had similar losses in their lives.
Or they will share news of the big business deal they are in.
You’ll hear how they just need a little more money to finish it.
They’ll tell you this is all the money the bank will give them and how their family members have invested too.
Then they’ll email you copies of contracts to make the deal seem legit and ask you for a loan just until the deal is signed.
Once the deal is done, they’ll wire your money back to your bank account.
Never, ever give them access to your financial resources!
Through this negotiation you hear a lot of I love you baby, I can’t wait to see you baby and As soon as this clears up, I’ll be there and we’ll be together.
7. They Have Excuses For Never Being Able To See You
They want to see you so badly and even tell you they are making arrangements to travel in a month or two. Yet as the date arrives, suddenly they aren’t available and the date gets moved back over and over again. This is another HUGE TIP OFF you’re dealing with a scammer.
8. You Can’t Find Any Record Of Them
Try searching on Google for your Valentino or Antonio. More than likely nothing will show up.
But if you tip them off you’ve done this… within days you will see a listing pop up with their name and phone number.
They want you to believe they are real and the phone company made a huge mistake with their information.
A tip off here is they will list their job, which few Americans do in the residential white pages.
9. How To Protect Yourself
Date men closer to home. Keep emails to no more than 3 or 4. Move men to the phone and keep calls to a minimum of 1-2 then meet ASAP.
If a man tells you he’ll be out of the country for a month or two, tell him to give you a call when he gets back.
Don’t get pulled into a fantasy relationship that will rip your heart in two and wipe you out financially if you’re not careful.
He will try and keep you in the communication process as long as he can with his romantic poems and sad stories of his life.
He wants you to feel guilty saying no to him. Don’t get pulled into this con. Move on and date other men.
If this has happened to you, you are not alone. Thousands of men and women get caught up in these scams daily.
Situations like this can leave you feeling emotionally devastated. You might find you have a hard time trusting men again.
If you’d like to work on rebuilding your dating confidence, I hope you’ll write me at lisa@findaqualityman.com.
We’ll set up a time to talk about rebuilding your dating life.
There are lots of good men out there to date online.
Remember the tips I’ve shared with you and if you’re not certain about someone write to me or share your story with your friends.
They are objective and can give you an honest opinion of what they believe is going on.
I hope you’ll share your thoughts and comments with me here.
Until next time~
Believing in You!
P.S. Whenever you are ready, here are four ways I can help you find love after 50
#1: Get a copy of my book The Winning Dating Formula on Amazon
Where I will walk you through a step-by-step breakdown of the exact tools and strategies you need for attracting the right man into your life — Click here
#2: Join the Finding Love after 50 Facebook group
It’s our Facebook community where you can connect with me and a community of women ready to support you on your journey for finding love after 50 — Click here
#3: Work with me 1-on-1 or in my Group Program
I would love to learn more about your dating journey, understand where you might be stuck, and give you a personalized step-by-step blueprint to attract the right man. And maybe even talk about how we can work together.
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#4: Subscribe to my YouTube Channel
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I can’t even tell you how many times I have had scam artists try and scam me. I swear I must have a big L above my head or something in my profile. I’m not desperate by any means so why do they pick me. Can’t figure out why I am always targeted. Needless to say, I have never fallen for this crap but a lot have tried. They give the same story as all your nine signs. It just floors me how somebody will waste three weeks writing and talking just to think they can scam you.
Surprised you left out the fact that scammers ask you to write to their gmail or other personal accounts in their first email and often give their phone number and ask you to call. Of course those phones are not traceable.
Thanks!
Even if he is from your local area , and you meet him right away, never ever believe any hard luck story and pay any Bill or give a man any money or your bank account or credit card information under any circumstances. Keep your personal identity information under lock and key until the relationship is well established. This means taking your handbag to the ladies room with you. It is far better to be safe than sorry.
I know this sounds cold hearted, but you must keep in mind that you are meeting people you do not know and have no idea of how truthful or not they have been in their profile.
Hi Lisa….I am smiling at your latest email. Have been on Chemistry.com for a few weeks and got a bit sucked in to the “pour your heart out” from the lonely widower who wasn’t going to date until they saw my profile. There were two of them ……and then I got the SAME message from both of them about their passions in life. All within a two hour period. I was mad and then I laughed and felt grateful to have been protected.
Here is what I did. I sent messages to both of them and copied both of them and introduced them to each other and suggested they check the website they are copying and pasting from before they start harrassing the next woman!
I’m not bitter at all, don’t get me wrong, just amused and have met a couple very nice men. Am just starting on my journey and casual dating is a bit tricky!
Thanks for your insights!
Hi Lisa and Everyone,
Women (people) can be scammed out of sex, not just money. There are already laws that makes it a crime for one to scam someone out of money. However, reprehensibly enough, it is not a crime to falsify an identity to scam someone out of sex, a relationship, or really anything else. This must stop. We need a law.
Many states do have a law, but it will be a long time before the entire country is protected. Will you please sign my friend’s petition to have this law enacted NJ? Her and I are both victims, as are thousands of others. Anyone, even you, could be next.
Here is the link for the petition.
I just signed the petition, “Legislators of New Jersey: Vote “yes” to Legislation #3908, Sexual Assault By Fraud.
I think this is important. Will you sign it too?
Here’s the link:
http://www.change.org/p/legislators-of-new-jersey-vote-yes-to-legislation-3908-sexual-assault-by-fraud
Thanks everyone, and remember, if it sounds too good to be true…..it is.
Thanks for the great blog, Lisa, and the tips — the scamming is just awful — kind of a double whammy for people doing online dating, and reminds me of the recent Geoffrey Rush movie, “The Best Offer,” about a less-than-honest-but likable art auctioneer who falls in love with one of his clients. It has exquisite back drops and is a good movie.
So, what do you do, if you are hoping to meet (and marry) a European man? I lived for a few years in Europe, and I’m hoping to do so again with my as-yet-unknown spouse.
Merci beaucoup,
Sabrina
Thank you for posting. Just a few days after your blog I was approached by one of these scammers on meet up.com. This one actually took the identity of a real person (his name and occupation) but the photo was not the same. Also the English was off for someone who claimed to be educated. Then a week later the same thing with another on meet up.com. This one was more like you described… mother Italian, widower, same sappy interests in only me and wanted to chat on private email. When I went to research him of course he didn’t exist. Ye gads…. So thanks for putting this out there.