and maybe, just maybe, I may convince a guy who is married that maybe–just maybe–he is in the wrong and that his wife is right about …you name it…!
Maybe, just maybe, I am helping out a friend’s marriage because I care about my friend and want him to have a good marriage (and I can give better insight than his moron buddies)…
1. I was friends/co-workers/neighbor with your spouse for many years. Years before he met you!! I helped him through his previous relationships and marriages before you. PLEASE DO NOT PUSH ME OUT OF FRIENDSHIP WITH YOUR HUSBAND. I AM NOT TRYING TO “SNAG” HIM AWAY FROM YOU. But not only is he my friend AND I AM HIS FRIEND. Could I not add joy/compassion/understanding to your life if you get up the courage to trust me? Doesn’t your husband want me to be his friend (afraid to ask you?)? Are you sure you can’t trust me or did someone else in your life hurt you?
2. Dear Married friends: Please do not assume that I have invitations for Christmas, Thanksgiving, holidays, etc. Often our relatives are few, far away and/or deceased.
there I got my frustration out
November 7, 2019 at 3:55 pm
Lisa
It can be frustrating Barbara. Glad you were able to vent.
I am tempted to post this! It is so true I am so lonely in the same town I was married and raised my kids. Thanks for putting in words you got it right on!
Oh my gosh, this so resonates
With me. I have been exhausted these past few years trying to explain over and over my feelings about single life and ALL the loses it entails to my well- meaning friends (since my divorce after 22 years) JUST because you may be over the loss of the husband , does not mean you’re not experiencing the other loses of being part of a “couple” or a “family.”
What I miss the most is just having a sounding board and the end of the day … and my husband was not even a GOOD communicator haha! – but he was “safe.”
My aunt, Just this weekend, asked how I was doing right now and I was having a rough moment , so I was honest . She then said : I want the strong, happy Heidi back ! Well guess what, strength is a character trait and happiness is a fleeting feeling.
I’ve been subscribed to your blog for while now and this one was the one that I really needed to hear today to know I am
Not alone with these thoughts.
Thank you , Lisa!
November 7, 2019 at 3:53 pm
Lisa
Heidi…I’m so glad this blog was helpful for you. So true that others want you to show up a certain way. It makes them feel safe without taking into consideration where you are at.
November 6, 2019 at 6:06 pm
Carol
And don’t forget the part about how are married female friends are worried about us attractive divorced/ widowed laddies are worried that we will steal their husbands/ boyfriends. It’s real- I’ve experienced this several times. That’s why we are no longer included.
November 7, 2019 at 3:51 pm
Lisa
I’m so sorry Carol. Its a shame. Most women have no interest in their friends husbands.
November 7, 2019 at 3:13 pm
barbara W
and maybe, just maybe, I may convince a guy who is married that maybe–just maybe–he is in the wrong and that his wife is right about …you name it…!
Maybe, just maybe, I am helping out a friend’s marriage because I care about my friend and want him to have a good marriage (and I can give better insight than his moron buddies)…
Just sayin’ in jersey
November 6, 2019 at 6:44 pm
Barbara w.
Dear Married Friend:
1. I was friends/co-workers/neighbor with your spouse for many years. Years before he met you!! I helped him through his previous relationships and marriages before you. PLEASE DO NOT PUSH ME OUT OF FRIENDSHIP WITH YOUR HUSBAND. I AM NOT TRYING TO “SNAG” HIM AWAY FROM YOU. But not only is he my friend AND I AM HIS FRIEND. Could I not add joy/compassion/understanding to your life if you get up the courage to trust me? Doesn’t your husband want me to be his friend (afraid to ask you?)? Are you sure you can’t trust me or did someone else in your life hurt you?
2. Dear Married friends: Please do not assume that I have invitations for Christmas, Thanksgiving, holidays, etc. Often our relatives are few, far away and/or deceased.
there I got my frustration out
November 7, 2019 at 3:55 pm
Lisa
It can be frustrating Barbara. Glad you were able to vent.
November 6, 2019 at 6:42 pm
Jaci
I am tempted to post this! It is so true I am so lonely in the same town I was married and raised my kids. Thanks for putting in words you got it right on!
November 7, 2019 at 3:55 pm
Lisa
You’re so welcome and feel free to post the link to the blog Jaci. It really helps both your married and single friends have more compassion for each other. Here’s the link to do that: https://findaqualityman.com/9-things-about-being-single-you-wish-youre-married-friends-knew/
November 6, 2019 at 6:11 pm
Heidi Matthews
Oh my gosh, this so resonates
With me. I have been exhausted these past few years trying to explain over and over my feelings about single life and ALL the loses it entails to my well- meaning friends (since my divorce after 22 years) JUST because you may be over the loss of the husband , does not mean you’re not experiencing the other loses of being part of a “couple” or a “family.”
What I miss the most is just having a sounding board and the end of the day … and my husband was not even a GOOD communicator haha! – but he was “safe.”
My aunt, Just this weekend, asked how I was doing right now and I was having a rough moment , so I was honest . She then said : I want the strong, happy Heidi back ! Well guess what, strength is a character trait and happiness is a fleeting feeling.
I’ve been subscribed to your blog for while now and this one was the one that I really needed to hear today to know I am
Not alone with these thoughts.
Thank you , Lisa!
November 7, 2019 at 3:53 pm
Lisa
Heidi…I’m so glad this blog was helpful for you. So true that others want you to show up a certain way. It makes them feel safe without taking into consideration where you are at.
November 6, 2019 at 6:06 pm
Carol
And don’t forget the part about how are married female friends are worried about us attractive divorced/ widowed laddies are worried that we will steal their husbands/ boyfriends. It’s real- I’ve experienced this several times. That’s why we are no longer included.
November 7, 2019 at 3:51 pm
Lisa
I’m so sorry Carol. Its a shame. Most women have no interest in their friends husbands.