Thanks Speed.
I have learned alot of specifics from you reply.
And, luckily, my profile has no career, political or causes.
But I do list dancing, (ballroom style, Fox trot, rhumba, etc) as a hobby.
I’m going to take your suggestions and review my profile with a critical eye.
Thanks again.
September 2, 2014 at 1:24 pm
Speed
For me, the most important thing in a profile is for the woman to convey that she is a woman. To paraphrase someone else, I am not looking for a specific type of woman any more than I would look for a particular type of painting in an art gallery or particular type of tree in a forest. I believe that every woman is or has the potential to be beautiful in her own way. Sort of a cliché, I know, but also true.
I like smiling pics, with at least one full body pic.
Positive or funny usernames like “onegoodwoman” or “whitejade” or “dreamer31” or “EnglishRose” or whatever. I don’t think it has to be breathtakingly creative. But if it’s positive or funny in some way, that’s enough.
Attractive, positive or funny headers like “Getaway Driver Wanted” or “Let me Straighten Your Tie” or “80s Music Fan Seeks Same” or “Uptown Girl Looking” or whatever. Again, I don’t think the benchmark is high. Attractive, funny or positive is enough.
Body of Profile: Something that shows me that she is a woman. She can do womanly things and likes being a woman. Likes beautiful things, whether that’s appreciating classical art, dressing up (or down) or just enjoying a nice meal or cruise or poem (pictures are better than words here). Or maybe she has her own ideas and style of what being a woman is. That’s cool, as long as I can see it is womanly. I don’t want to define it too tightly because, again, I don’t want to go into an art gallery looking for a single picture.
What I do definitely know, though, is that I don’t want to date any (more) women who reject all traditional notions of womanhood and define themselves by career, political beliefs, hobbies or causes.
August 31, 2014 at 9:27 pm
Bloomingdale 316
Speed
What would you like to see in a woman’s profile?
Thanks.
August 25, 2014 at 6:09 pm
Infinity
From what I've experienced, the majority of men do not read the profiles. They go by pictures only. I have to request that a man read my profile after he's written me. Otherwise, they would not have written.
Perhaps the headline is a good idea, but even the few dates I had admitted they read nothing. Nothing! All that eloquent writing falling on blind eyes….
August 25, 2014 at 6:43 pm
Lisa
What you say about men is very true and that's why a great picture is so important. And why profiles need to be short, sweet and inviting.
August 25, 2014 at 8:03 pm
Speed
Men don’t read the profiles, because 95% of them are the same:
“I love to laugh.”
“I comfortable in high heels or jeans.”
“I love to travel.”
“I love sunsets and fine wines.”
“I’m looking for my best friend and partner in crime.”
“No players!”
“No liars!”
“No drunks or drug addicts!”
“I love being out on the town, but also curling up in front of a good movie at home.”
“You MUST be into (X) type of music, have (Y) type of philosophy/politics and have (Z) lifestyle. You MUST NOT be into (C) type of music/sports or believe in (D) politics.”
Since most of the women’s profiles are almost copies, fantastical, don’t make much sense or are even a turnoff, we skip them or skim them. We figure, “I like her picture, she likes mine (since she’s agreed to meet),” so I’ll meet her and see what happens.”
Also, I think we like to imagine that we can read a woman’s personality from her photo, photo settings, and so on. The words just don’t matter as much. It’s not just pure lust (although that it is definitely there), we’re trying to read her personality. That’s why men (right or wrong) really emphasize photos.
Anyway, it’s not realistic to expect us to read through women’s long profiles (which, again, are almost identical and often incomprehensible) carefully weigh their most important aspects, match them against our own specs, and then, only then, consider contacting you for a date. I think a lot of women want men to do that, but in fact I don’t think hardly any men do that.
Lisa nailed it here by writing women should have their most awesome photos up with a pleasant, happy, inviting profile. Do that, and you’ll stand out from 95% of the women online.
August 25, 2014 at 5:54 pm
Noquay
One aspect of a profile, related to the writing of it, that alas, is ignored by many men and women AND is now, in many circles, sadly considered acceptable is basic honesty; LOOK LIKE YOUR PHOTOS, actually BE in shape if you claim to be, and if you stipulate a certain profession or salary range, have them be accurate, and be the height. age, marital status (separated, no matter how long, is NOT divorced) and weight you claim. No one gives you the benefit of the doubt based upon your wonderful personality (only ascertained over numerous dates) if you clearly lie about what you look like, who you are. It isn't fair to the other person who takes the time, expense, and effort to meet you. Dishonesty makes folks not only angry and suspicious about whatever else you're lying about. It's likely to be the number one thing that turns both men and women off to on line dating. Besides, why subject yourself to immediate rejection? Dating is hard enough as it is.
August 25, 2014 at 6:42 pm
Lisa
Well said.
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September 4, 2014 at 11:13 am
Bloomingdale 316
Thanks Speed.
I have learned alot of specifics from you reply.
And, luckily, my profile has no career, political or causes.
But I do list dancing, (ballroom style, Fox trot, rhumba, etc) as a hobby.
I’m going to take your suggestions and review my profile with a critical eye.
Thanks again.
September 2, 2014 at 1:24 pm
Speed
For me, the most important thing in a profile is for the woman to convey that she is a woman. To paraphrase someone else, I am not looking for a specific type of woman any more than I would look for a particular type of painting in an art gallery or particular type of tree in a forest. I believe that every woman is or has the potential to be beautiful in her own way. Sort of a cliché, I know, but also true.
I like smiling pics, with at least one full body pic.
Positive or funny usernames like “onegoodwoman” or “whitejade” or “dreamer31” or “EnglishRose” or whatever. I don’t think it has to be breathtakingly creative. But if it’s positive or funny in some way, that’s enough.
Attractive, positive or funny headers like “Getaway Driver Wanted” or “Let me Straighten Your Tie” or “80s Music Fan Seeks Same” or “Uptown Girl Looking” or whatever. Again, I don’t think the benchmark is high. Attractive, funny or positive is enough.
Body of Profile: Something that shows me that she is a woman. She can do womanly things and likes being a woman. Likes beautiful things, whether that’s appreciating classical art, dressing up (or down) or just enjoying a nice meal or cruise or poem (pictures are better than words here). Or maybe she has her own ideas and style of what being a woman is. That’s cool, as long as I can see it is womanly. I don’t want to define it too tightly because, again, I don’t want to go into an art gallery looking for a single picture.
What I do definitely know, though, is that I don’t want to date any (more) women who reject all traditional notions of womanhood and define themselves by career, political beliefs, hobbies or causes.
August 31, 2014 at 9:27 pm
Bloomingdale 316
Speed
What would you like to see in a woman’s profile?
Thanks.
August 25, 2014 at 6:09 pm
Infinity
From what I've experienced, the majority of men do not read the profiles. They go by pictures only. I have to request that a man read my profile after he's written me. Otherwise, they would not have written.
Perhaps the headline is a good idea, but even the few dates I had admitted they read nothing. Nothing! All that eloquent writing falling on blind eyes….
August 25, 2014 at 6:43 pm
Lisa
What you say about men is very true and that's why a great picture is so important. And why profiles need to be short, sweet and inviting.
August 25, 2014 at 8:03 pm
Speed
Men don’t read the profiles, because 95% of them are the same:
“I love to laugh.”
“I comfortable in high heels or jeans.”
“I love to travel.”
“I love sunsets and fine wines.”
“I’m looking for my best friend and partner in crime.”
“No players!”
“No liars!”
“No drunks or drug addicts!”
“I love being out on the town, but also curling up in front of a good movie at home.”
“You MUST be into (X) type of music, have (Y) type of philosophy/politics and have (Z) lifestyle. You MUST NOT be into (C) type of music/sports or believe in (D) politics.”
Since most of the women’s profiles are almost copies, fantastical, don’t make much sense or are even a turnoff, we skip them or skim them. We figure, “I like her picture, she likes mine (since she’s agreed to meet),” so I’ll meet her and see what happens.”
Also, I think we like to imagine that we can read a woman’s personality from her photo, photo settings, and so on. The words just don’t matter as much. It’s not just pure lust (although that it is definitely there), we’re trying to read her personality. That’s why men (right or wrong) really emphasize photos.
Anyway, it’s not realistic to expect us to read through women’s long profiles (which, again, are almost identical and often incomprehensible) carefully weigh their most important aspects, match them against our own specs, and then, only then, consider contacting you for a date. I think a lot of women want men to do that, but in fact I don’t think hardly any men do that.
Lisa nailed it here by writing women should have their most awesome photos up with a pleasant, happy, inviting profile. Do that, and you’ll stand out from 95% of the women online.
August 25, 2014 at 5:54 pm
Noquay
One aspect of a profile, related to the writing of it, that alas, is ignored by many men and women AND is now, in many circles, sadly considered acceptable is basic honesty; LOOK LIKE YOUR PHOTOS, actually BE in shape if you claim to be, and if you stipulate a certain profession or salary range, have them be accurate, and be the height. age, marital status (separated, no matter how long, is NOT divorced) and weight you claim. No one gives you the benefit of the doubt based upon your wonderful personality (only ascertained over numerous dates) if you clearly lie about what you look like, who you are. It isn't fair to the other person who takes the time, expense, and effort to meet you. Dishonesty makes folks not only angry and suspicious about whatever else you're lying about. It's likely to be the number one thing that turns both men and women off to on line dating. Besides, why subject yourself to immediate rejection? Dating is hard enough as it is.
August 25, 2014 at 6:42 pm
Lisa
Well said.