Before I knew better, I made the mistake of letting chemistry sweep me out of my senses. Long story short, he ghosted me after nearly three years together. The duration is what made it devastating. Even worse, I had to stuff my feelings so my kids wouldn’t see me fall apart. It’s now been five years, and I now realize he never loved me; he ran out of lust. Just say no to love bombers; they are all toxic underneath, no matter how charming they are on the surface.
July 23, 2020 at 4:03 am
Mary Reilly
I also believe that some men ghost because of their subconscious fears. I happened to cross paths about a year later with a man who had ghosted me after 5 great dates. This man had told me that his ex-wife had cheated on him but he was divorced about 25 years and had never remarried. I had called him after the fifth date and told him that I was visiting a girlfriend for a few days and when I would be coming back. I never heard from him again. When our paths crossed he said that the phone works both ways and that I should have called him! I told him (nicely) that I believe that if a man wants to really see a woman, he will find a way and that I had initiated the last conversation and told him when I was coming back. He implied that he did not call because he did not really know whether or not I was truly interested! I think he believes what he is saying and wants to play the blame game because he has no clue how much his subconscious fears are really running the show.
July 22, 2020 at 11:47 pm
Jan
What about the man who goes through all the motions of establishing a relationship with you, initiates the future talk, says he’s in love with you…then several months in tells you it”s over…only to call you up six weeks later to tell you it was all a misunderstanding on his part and comes on strong again like gangbusters…just to disappear again with the words that he just can’t see us long term…? He always said he wanted openness and honesty. I listened to those words and trusted them. He kept from me his secret misgivings ( I still don’t know what they were) right up to the morning he ended things.
All I can say is fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.
It was a heartbreak. I thought he was the one. But I am moving on.
July 23, 2020 at 11:32 am
Kathy
Before I knew better, I made the mistake of letting chemistry sweep me out of my senses. Long story short, he ghosted me after nearly three years together. The duration is what made it devastating. Even worse, I had to stuff my feelings so my kids wouldn’t see me fall apart. It’s now been five years, and I now realize he never loved me; he ran out of lust. Just say no to love bombers; they are all toxic underneath, no matter how charming they are on the surface.
July 23, 2020 at 4:03 am
Mary Reilly
I also believe that some men ghost because of their subconscious fears. I happened to cross paths about a year later with a man who had ghosted me after 5 great dates. This man had told me that his ex-wife had cheated on him but he was divorced about 25 years and had never remarried. I had called him after the fifth date and told him that I was visiting a girlfriend for a few days and when I would be coming back. I never heard from him again. When our paths crossed he said that the phone works both ways and that I should have called him! I told him (nicely) that I believe that if a man wants to really see a woman, he will find a way and that I had initiated the last conversation and told him when I was coming back. He implied that he did not call because he did not really know whether or not I was truly interested! I think he believes what he is saying and wants to play the blame game because he has no clue how much his subconscious fears are really running the show.
July 22, 2020 at 11:47 pm
Jan
What about the man who goes through all the motions of establishing a relationship with you, initiates the future talk, says he’s in love with you…then several months in tells you it”s over…only to call you up six weeks later to tell you it was all a misunderstanding on his part and comes on strong again like gangbusters…just to disappear again with the words that he just can’t see us long term…? He always said he wanted openness and honesty. I listened to those words and trusted them. He kept from me his secret misgivings ( I still don’t know what they were) right up to the morning he ended things.
All I can say is fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.
It was a heartbreak. I thought he was the one. But I am moving on.