3 Reasons Why A Man Disappears After A Great Date
When Elana met Alan, his good looks literally took her breath away.
He looked so handsome and sexy in his black pants, white shirt and sport coat.
Wow…she couldn’t believe how nice he’d dressed for her. She loved that he so wanted to impress her.
A mutual friend had introduced them so she felt comfortable with Alan’s suggestion he pick her up.
They headed to a local restaurant and sat outside enjoying the final days of summer, a good bottle of wine and a leisurely dinner.
Elana couldn’t believe it. As she sat across from Alan, she felt like she’d met the man of her dreams.
To her, he was amazing… openly talking about anything and everything including exploring the possibility of a relationship with her.
He made her feel so girly and feminine about herself, which felt really good. And on top of all that… he loved doing the same things she loved doing.
She was truly in awe of this man.
The next time they met, Alan came back to her home and as they talked and laughed, he offered to rub her feet. She felt like she’d died and gone to heaven. No man had ever done this before.
His touch was perfect and she found herself just melting into his blue eyes and gentle hands as they talked more and more about the possibilities of being in relationship together.
As the third date approached, Elana found herself totally infatuated with this man feeling like she’d finally met her Mr. Right.
The morning of their date, Alan texted that he couldn’t make their date and he thought they should just be friends.
Elana was stunned.
Up to now, everything this man had said and done had screamed of relationship. Thinking she’d met the man of her dreams, she couldn’t understand why he’d backed away.
What happened to Elana is actually pretty common.
I want to share 3 reasons for why this happens and what you can do to heal should it happen to you…
#1. You’re not alone if you’ve painted a picture in your head of who you think your Prince Charming is.
When it feels like he’s shown up on the first date…it’s normal to get really excited.
And even before you’ve finished your cup of coffee it’s not uncommon to start imagining yourself in a wedding dress walking down the aisle with this special guy.
Having said this… I want you to pay close attention to the next few sentences.
1st dates are meet and greets.
2nd dates are for getting to know him better.
3rd dates are for getting to know him better.
4th dates are for getting to know him even better.
Do you get my drift? Go on a date expecting nothing more than to meet a new and interesting person. That’s it.
Don’t paint pictures of who he is until you’ve known him a while.
Those pictures you paint are a set up for getting hurt once you discover he isn’t who he appeared to be in his profile or on your first date.
#2. Men talk out loud about what they are thinking.
A man might verbally explore a relationship with you because he wants it, but that doesn’t mean he’s ready for it and that is probably what happened here.
It’s possible Alan really liked Elana… then got scared and backed off till he could sort his feelings out.
Men get scared too!
The best thing you can do when you find a guy you really like is to continue dating him and other men until the two of you decide to create a committed, exclusive relationship together.
#3. Try and not blame yourself when a man disappears.
It’s really not about you.
It’s about something going on inside of him, whether its fear, confusion or just him talking out loud about what he thinks he wants.
The best thing you can do is to go slow while observing whether or not a new man walks his talk and is who he appears to be.
And remember… Some day, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.
Until next time~
Believing in You!
P.S. Whenever you are ready, here are four ways I can help you find love after 50
#1: Get a copy of my book The Winning Dating Formula on Amazon
Where I will walk you through a step-by-step breakdown of the exact tools and strategies you need for attracting the right man into your life — Click here
#2: Join the Finding Love after 50 Facebook group
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#3: Work with me 1-on-1 or in my Group Program
I would love to learn more about your dating journey, understand where you might be stuck, and give you a personalized step-by-step blueprint to attract the right man. And maybe even talk about how we can work together.
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Dear Lisa
Thank you for the great Info. I’m starting to date men and getting to know them on a day to day basis and nothing more. It’s better that way and more comfortable. I’m not, cross my finger, sleeping with them unless, I’m married to that one and only right man for me. No more going on a trial basis and getting the taste of the cookie. I’m saving my ‘cookie’ for the one who spend the rest of my life with me. Life’s too short and too risky to go on going from hotdog to another, if you get my grip.
Jane..
Unfortunately, people flake. nothing to do with the other person involved although it is exceedingly rude.
Good read- I was impressed with the attention to how women and men deal with verbalizing differently. Thanks for the article :)))